Mary Cadorette | Through the Shattered Lens

Terry Franken (Dwight Schultz), the arrogant director of a new musical that is playing out of town tryouts on the way to Broadway, is shot and killed at the theater. Recently fired stage manager Johnny Whitcomb (Jim Metzler) is arrested for the crime but Perry knows that Johnny is innocent. At the same time that Terry was getting murdered, Perry was in a hospital room recovering from knee surgery. He looked out the hospital window and saw Johnny across the street. Despite Perry providing an alibi, Johnny is still charged with murdering Terry. Broadway legend Amanda Cody (Debbie Reynolds) asks Perry to take Johnny’s case.

This Perry Mason movie featured Perry on the stand, testifying to having seen Johnny. The District Attorney (Valerie Mahaffey) tried to humiliate Perry by suggesting that he was on too many pain killers to be sure what he saw. Never try to humiliate Perry Mason! He’ll not only beat you in court but also make you look like a fool by getting the real murderer to confess while on the stand.

The key to proving Johnny’s innocence was finding the security guard (Rick Aiello) who worked at the theater the night that Terry was killed. Ken (William R. Moses) and his annoying girlfriend Amy (Alexandra Paul) handled that part of the case. Ken is still no Paul Drake, Jr. and his bickering with Amy is like nails on a chalkboard.

I actually remember watching this movie with my aunt when it came on Hallmark one weekend. My aunt enjoyed it. She liked Debbie Reynolds. This one was better than the previous movie. Along with Debbie Reynolds, the cast includes Jerry Orbach and Lori Petty. Dwight Schultz was great as the victim. I still miss William Katt and David Ogden Stiers, though. Perry doesn’t have the same connection to Ken that he had to Paul. David Ogden Stiers was great because, even though he always lost the case, he still seemed like he was a good enough lawyer that he could have won if things had gone differently. These new district attorneys never even have a chance against Perry.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week, a brave troll defends its treasure!

Episode 1.12 “Fools’ Gold”

(Dir by Greg Cannom, originally aired on January 21st, 1989)

Two constructions workers, Phil (Jeff Conaway) and Joe (T.J. Castronova), and their boss, Sherrie (Mary Cadorette), climb down into an underground tunnel. They’re expecting to find another construction worker who they believe is hiding in the tunnel. Instead, they discover the worker’s dead body and a gold coin.

Phil is super-excited about the gold and insists on exploring more of the tunnel. Joe and Sherrie stay behind while Phil explores. Joe talks about how, “in the old country,” his parents would tell him stories about faeries and goblins and trolls. Sherrie laughs and says that there’s no way Joe could actually believe in any of that.

Well, it’s actually a pretty good thing that Joe knows about trolls because there’s one in the tunnel! The troll (played, under a lot of makeup, by Debbie Lee Carrington) has hoarded all of the gold that it can find. According to Joe, trolls do this to trick people into entering their lair. Because trolls have a boiling hot blood, they can burn people just by touching them. Trolls are also vulnerable to sunlight and iron. That’s all Phil has to hear to decide that they should defeat the troll and try to steal the treasure for themselves.

The troll, however, is a bit more clever than the three of them realize. Not only is the troll a viscous attacker who can burn with one touch but the troll also has the ability to start an earthquake. When the troll does just that, Sherrie, Phil, and Joe find themselves trapped and fighting for their lives.

This episode featured three distinct human characters. Joe was good-hearted. Phil was greedy. Sherrie was somewhere in between. While Jeff Conaway overacted, both Mary Cadorette and T.J. Castronova gave adequate performances as Sherrie and Joe. That said, the definite star of this episode was the troll. Wisely, director Greg Cannom largely kept the troll in the shadows, which made it even more creepy as it ran around the tunnel. When the troll did attack, it was a genuinely frightening monster. What I liked is that the troll always moved quickly and ruthlessly. The troll wasn’t one of those slow monsters who show up in so many horror films. Instead, this troll was a predator, one that attacked quickly and showed no mercy. Seriously, no one watching this episode would want to run into that thing in a basement or anywhere else!

That said, this episode’s script was a bit underwhelming. The 20-minute runtime really doesn’t do Monsters any favors. This is an episode that would have benefitted from a longer run time and perhaps a somewhat darker ending. The humans were so unlikable that it was hard not to feel that they hadn’t earned a happy ending. I was Team Troll all the way.