Cleaning Out The DVR: Psycho Intern (dir by Ann Forry)

Posted on September 27, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here at the Shattered Lens, we have a very simple but very important rule.

DON’T SLEEP WITH THE INTERNS!

Of course, we also don’t have any interns so I’ve never really had to go out of my way to enforce that rule but still, if we did have interns, the rule would definitely be to not sleep with them. Seriously, I’ve seen enough Lifetime films to know better. Anytime you see a Lifetime film with the word “Intern” in the title, you know that the intern is going to be attractive, you know that the boss is going to be dealing with a difficult divorce or some other personal issue, and you know that one night of passion is going to leave to at least 40 minutes of trouble.

That’s certainly the case when it comes to Alex Prescott (Madison Smith), the handsome young man who works as an intern for Maya (Emmanuelle Vaugier). At first, Alex just seems like an overly earnest college student who is oddly eager about making coffee. But then, after Maya’s assistant is injured in a mysterious accident, Alex becomes an indispensable part of the office. In fact, Alex is so helpful and so supportive and so handsome that it doesn’t seem to matter that he never brought in the information necessary for the company to run a background check for him. And when he’s asked to offer up some proof that he actually is a college student, he claims that university’s server has gone down and it’ll be a while before he can get that proof.

That all sounds pretty suspicious to me but one can’t really blame Maya for not paying to much attention. She’s got a lot to deal with. Not only is her daughter coming by for a visit but Maya also has a big presentation coming up. Unfortunately, she also has to deal with a misogynistic coworker. Fortunately, that coworker is sent to the hospital, the result of another mysterious accident! There certainly do seem to be a lot of mysterious accidents and incidents whenever Alex is around. Maya would probably notice that if she wasn’t busy having a one night stand with him in the office.

Afterwards, Maya is all like, “We have to transfer you to another office!” But Alex …. well, the title of the movie is Psycho Intern, afterall!

This is hardly the first movie about a psycho to air on Lifetime, nor will it be the last. Hell, it’s not even the first Lifetime movie about a psycho intern! For whatever reason, interns are always bad news on Lifetime, which leads me to wonder what life is like at corporate headquarters. One of the main themes of Lifetime movies that take place in the corporate world is that executives should never trust anyone who makes less money than them because those people will always end up trying to kill them. That’s certainly the case here but, what the film lacks in originality, it makes up for in entertaining melodrama. Madison Smith does a good job of switching back and forth from being charming to being batshit insane. Emmanuelle Vaugier is a veteran of these type of films and she bring her usual flair to the role. It’s a Lifetime movie that promises a psycho intern and it keeps its promise.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Four Christmases And A Wedding (dir by Marita Grabiak)

Posted on December 25, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 193 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded Four Christmases and a Wedding off of Lifetime on December 2nd!)

It’s all pretty much right there in the title.

Four Christmases and A Wedding was one of the handful of original Christmas films to premiere on Lifetime this holiday season. As you can guess from looking at the title, it takes place over the course of four Christmases and it also involves a wedding. Can you guess who ends up getting married and when? If you’ve ever seen a Lifetime or Hallmark holiday film, you can.

It’s actually a sweet film, even if it is rather predictable. But, as I’ve said before, predictability is one reason why people love movies like this. There’s something very reassuring about knowing exactly what is going to happen in a movie like this before you watch it. Many of us spend an entire year hoping for a pleasant holiday. If you’re not lucky enough to get one in real life, you can always get one in the movies.

Or, in this case, you can get four.

Chloe (Arielle Kebbel) is an event planner who is lucky in Christmas but unlucky in love. When a small town hires her to plan their Christmas festival, Chloe is overjoyed. As she tells her mom (Markie Post), she’s given up on ever finding love. At least she can find professional success! But then, at the first festival, she meets Evan (Corey Sevier) and it’s love at first sight! There’s only one problem. Evan is about to go overseas.

The years pass. Evan returns each Christmas. Sometimes, he has a girlfriend. Sometimes, Chloe has a boyfriend. Every time, there is something to keep Chloe and Evan apart. Everyone knows that Chloe and Evan are meant to be together, especially Chloe’s mom. Will Evan and Chloe ever get together or will the wedding be for someone else?

Four Christmases and a Wedding is a sweet movie. There’s nothing surprising about it but Arielle Kebbel and Corey Sevier make for a cute couple, even when they’re not together. The idea of spreading the film out over several years is an interesting one and director Marta Grabiak does a good job of subtly suggesting the passage of time. This is a predictable movie but it’s a lot of fun and I look forward to watching it next Christmas as well.

What Else Lisa Watched Last Night #166: Seduced By A Stranger (dir by Scott Belyea)

Posted on May 21, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Secrets of My Stepdaughter was not the only thing that I watched last night! I also watched Seduced By A Stranger on the Lifetime Movie Network.

Why Was I Watching It?

When a movie is called Seduced By A Stranger, you watch it. Seduced is one of the most powerful words in the English language. I even tried to get Arleigh to call this site Through the Seduced Lens but he ended up going with Shattered instead.

(Which is okay because shattered is almost as powerful word as seduced. Someday, Lifetime will realize that I’m right and commission a film called Shattered Seduction. I’m already working on the script.)

What Was It About?

It’s about a woman who is seduced by a stranger.

Actually, there’s a little more to it than just that. In fact, it’s actually a movie about a teenager named Dana (Cate Sproule) and her good-for-nothing (but charming) father named Martin (Steve Bacic). Because Martin is a professional con man, Dana and Martin have never stayed in one place for too long. Dana feels like she’s missing out on life.

So, Martin agrees to settle down in a nice little town. Dana finally gets to enroll in high school. She even meets a cute boy named Charlie (Madison Smith) and soon, they’re a couple. However, Martin is also dating Charlie’s mother (Chandra West) and Dana is worried that her father is going to slip back into his old ways.

And, of course, there’s the stalker. Sloane (Lucie Guest) lost everything to one of Martin’s cons and she’s determined to get her revenge. Now that Martin has settled down in one place, it looks like she may finally get her chance…

What Worked?

This one was a lot of fun and actually kind of sweet in its own weird way. Charlie and Dana were a really likable couple and you hoped that things would work out for them. Both Cate Sproule and Madison Smith gave good performances and it was kind of nice to see a Lifetime film where, for once, the teenagers were alright and the adults were totally clueless.

Lucie Guest did a good job as crazy Sloane. The best role in any Lifetime film is always the obsessive stalker and Guest really made the most of the opportunity.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. It was fun and enjoyable Lifetime film. The only thing that kept it from being perfect was that there was no kitchen dance party.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

When someone says that Dana has stolen Charlie’s heart, Dana instinctively responds with, “I don’t steal.” For some reason, I related to that moment.

(I know that’s vague but identifying an “Oh my God! Just like me!” moment is not an exact science.)

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, being seduced by a stranger is the best thing that can happen to you.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #34: Revenge Porn (dir by Monika Mitchell)

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by the end of July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 34th film on the DVR was Revenge Porn, which I recorded off of Lifetime on June 18th.

Here’s two important things to know about Revenge Porn:

First of all, when it originally aired, I live tweeted it on twitter, along with several other friends. Needless to say, we used the hashtag #RevengePorn. Also needless to say, using #RevengePorn as a hashtag ended up getting me a lot of attention from people who weren’t necessarily watching the film. I picked up a lot of new followers that night.

(Of course, most of them left once I started to tweet about Big Brother.)

Secondly, when it came time to write this review, I wanted to make sure that I had at least one image to go along with it. So, innocently, I did a google image search on “Revenge Porn.” That turned out to be a big mistake. If you want to find pictures from this film, I suggest that you do a search for “Elisabeth Rohm Lifetime movie.” It’ll be a lot less traumatic.

As for the film itself, it starts out like a more respectable version of Break-Up Nightmare. The innocent and college-bound Peyton Harris (Tiera Skovbye) is up in her bedroom, taking topless pictures, while her overprotective parents (Elisabeth Rohm and David Lewis) are downstairs. In fact, the only real difference between the opening of Break-Up Nightmare and Revenge Porn is that Peyton isn’t taking the pictures for a boyfriend. Instead, she’s considering whether or not to get a boob job.

Otherwise, the first hour of the film plays out pretty much the same as Break-Up Nightmare. Peyton’s best friend (Jodelle Ferland) is jealous over Peyton’s great future and, in a moment of spite, sends naked pictures of Peyton to everyone at school. However, things get even worse when Carl Cook (a thoroughly creepy performance fro Levi Meaden) comes across Peyton’s pictures and posts them on his revenge porn website, ExMyEx. Cook claims that what he’s doing is perfectly legal and that it’s the fault of his victims for taking naked pictures in the first place. Peyton’s mom decides to try to bring the website down and Carl seeks revenge…

However, after about an hour of this, the film goes totally crazy. Angered over their attempts to shut him down, Carl starts to harass the Harrises in every over-the-top way imaginable. Since Carl Cook is a hacker (which, in the world of Lifetime films, is the equivalent of being an MCU-style super villain), there is literally nothing that he can’t do.

Send threatening texts to every member of the family? Carl can do it!

Send and re-send naked pictures of Peyton to everyone on the planet? Carl can do it!

Cancel everyone’s credit cards and destroy the family’s finances? Carl can do it!

Cancel Peyton’s college scholarships? Carl can do it!

Issue a warrant for Peyton’s father arrest? Carl can do it!

Eventually, the Harrises even find themselves being chased by a drone, which Carl is apparently controlling from his super villain lair!

When it comes to movies about creepy hackers and naked pictures, Break-Up Nightmare is definitely the one to go with. But Revenge Porn has its own strengths. Both Rohm and Skovbye give good performances and, seriously, as played by Levin Meaden, Carl Cook is one of the most loathsome villains to ever appear in a Lifetime movie.

If you’re a fan of the Lifetime way of telling cinematic morality tales, Revenge Porn is one to keep an eye out for. Hopefully, Lifetime will be do a Revenge Porn/Break-Up Nightmare double feature at some point in the future.

Adventures in Cleaning Out The DVR: The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 92010 Story (dir by Vanessa Parise) and The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story (dir by Mark Griffiths)

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, it’s finally done! A week ago, I started the process of cleaning out my DVR. I’ve lost track of how many movies that I have watched and reviewed. And now, finally, I can say that I have finally reached a stopping point. When I started this process, I only had 5 hours of space left on my DVR. I now have 48 hours of space.

I’m reviewing my final two “DVR” films in one post because they really do go together. But before I get to the review, here’s a little background. Lifetime now has it’s very own version of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. True, it hasn’t proven as popular as the MCU nor have any of the films been as critically acclaimed as Guardians of the Galaxy or the first Avengers. But, all the same, these four Lifetime films share a common continuity. Call it the Lifetime Cinematic Universe. LCU for short.

I’m talking, of course, about the Unauthorized films. In these films, Lifetime takes us behind the scenes of an iconic old television show. The first of these films was the absolutely terrible The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story. Then, earlier this year, we got the not-terrible-but-extremely-forgettable Unauthorized Full House Story. Finally, on October 3rd and the 9th, Lifetime broadcast the latest two entries in the LCU — The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story and The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story.

I was on vacation when both of those films were originally broadcast but, fortunately, my sister had the foresight to set the DVR to record both of them! YAY!

(Seriously, my sister’s the best.)

Of the two films, The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 film was definitely the best. In fact, it’s definitely the best of the LCU films to be released so far. The film starts with a teenage Tori Spelling (played by Abby Ross, who is a lot prettier than the real Tori Spelling will ever be) convincing her father, producer Aaron Spelling (Dan Castellenata), to take a chance on a TV show about high school students. Spelling recruits Darren Starr (Adam Korson) to run the show and together they cast a group of hopeful performers and fight with the nervous TV execs who worry about the slightest bit of controversy.

They also have to deal with lead actress Shannen Doherty (Samantha Munro), who proves herself to be as difficult as she is talented. Whereas the Saved By The Bell and Full House films suffered because of a lack of behind-the-scenes drama, The Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 film is all about conflict. From the minute that we first see Shannen, she’s making sure that everyone knows that she’s the star. And yet, despite that, Shannen Doherty remains a compelling and sympathetic character. Samantha Munro (who played Anya on my beloved Degrassi) gives a wonderfully complex performance. When she eventually ends up trying to beat up Jennie Garth (Abbie Cobb, who also appeared on the 90210 reboot), it’s more than just a cat fight. It’s Shannen declaring that she’s a star and she’s not going to let anyone push her to the side. And, even if Jennie hasn’t really done anything to deserve being called out, the film ultimately makes the case that Shannen, alone out of the cast, was the one who understood how Hollywood actually worked. Shannen’s a fighter because she knows the only other option is to be a victim.

Director Vanessa Parise does a good job keeping the action moving and giving us a glimpse of what it’s suddenly like to be world-famous. Some of the film’s best sequences are just the camera tracking through the studio, giving us a look of each star in his or her dressing room and providing a glimpse into the different personalities who make up the show’s ensemble. As opposed to the previous Unauthorized films, you finish the Beverly Hills 90210 Story feeling that it was a story worth telling.

One final note — Alyssa Lynch, who played Tiffani-Amber Thiessen in The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell, shows up playing the same role in Unauthorized 90210. It’s a nice nod to continuity.

The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story picks up where Beverly Hills 90210 ends. Darren Starr (Korson again) decides that he wants to do a show about people in their 20s. Aaron Spelling (Castellenata, again) agrees to produce. Once again, we get a lot of scenes of nervous network executives trying to tell Starr and Spelling what they can and can not do on television.

There’s a great scene in Unauthorized Melorse Place in which Heather Locklear (Ciara Hanna) strolls out on the soundstage, smirks, and says, “Did anyone order a bitch?” It’s a great line (and one that I’ve been using ever since I first saw the commercials for Unauthorized Melrose) but, unfortunately, Locklear’s just talking about her character. Whereas Unauthorized 90210 was all about conflict, Unauthorized Melrose seems to be about how well people get along behind the scenes.

True, there’s a few scenes where the actresses compete for the spotlight and there are hints of jealousy among the cast. Actor Doug Savant (Joseph John Coleman) gets upset because the network won’t let his gay character have a substantial storyline. Otherwise, there doesn’t appear to have been much drama behind the scenes at Melrose Place. That’s a good thing for the people who worked on the show but it doesn’t exactly make for a very compelling unauthorized story.

Along with the characters of Darren Starr and the Spelling family, both the Unauthorized Beverly Hills Story and the Unauthorized Melrose Place Story have one other thing in common, a shared joke. Both films feature actors talking about losing a role to Brad Pitt and someone else replying with, “Who?” It’s kind of an obvious joke but, again, I always appreciate continuity.

And that’s it! With these two reviews, I have now not only cleaned out my DVR but I have reviewed every single original film that has appeared, in the year so far, on both the Lifetime network and SyFy! Thank you for your indulgence and I now return you to regularly scheduled programming…