Lorie Griffin | Through the Shattered Lens

My sister asked me to watch and review this one. I’ll have to remember to thank her for that.

A group of cheerleaders go to a cheerleading camp for the summer. In between all of the usual camp shenanigans, someone is killing the cheerleaders. Alison (Betsy Russell) seems like the likeliest suspect because she keeps having weird dreams and is really possessive of her unfaithful boyfriend, Brent (Leif Garrett). Is Alison the murderer or is she being set up? Cheerleading is a cut-throat business so anything is possible.

As a former cheerleader, there were a few scenes that I could relate to. Alison has the same nightmare that I used to have all through high school, where you show up for the game late, you have to put on your uniform in such a rush that you don’t even have time to put on a bra, and then you run out on the field and no one’s there. I had that dream a hundred times. And the movie was right about everyone making fun of the mascot. I felt bad for Cory (Lucinda Dickey).

Overall, the movie left me with some questions. The main one was whether or not these were supposed to be high school or college cheerleaders. Some of them looked really old to still be in high school. Brent had a receding hairline. I also wondered why there was a pervy fat guy on Alison’s cheerleading squad. There’s nothing wrong with male cheerleaders but I would not be comfortable with a male cheerleader who kept trying to see all of the other cheerleaders naked. Finally, I wondered how everyone at the camp could be so stupid. Why would anyone stay after the first dead body is found? I liked Alison but even I groaned when she picked up a bloody meat cleaver. Girl, that’s evidence! Don’t get your fingerprints on that! I also figured out who the murderer was after the first fifteen minutes. It was pretty obvious.

I enjoyed cheering but I’m glad I never went to that cheerleader camp. Most of the routines were awful and everyone ended up dead. It’s not worth it.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark are back in Los Angeles.

Episode 3.23 “Heavy Date”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on March 18th, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark’s latest assignment finds them in Los Angeles, where they share an apartment in a building that is managed by Marge Davis (Peggy Pope). Marge, a widow, is upset that her son, Gary (Patrick O’Bryan), doesn’t seem to have any direction in life. When Gary loses his job, Marge kneels down and puts her head in the oven. Uhmm …. okay. Suicide humor, that’s great, I guess.

Alice Hartman (Lorie Griffin) shows up in Los Angeles and takes an apartment in the building. Alice is seven months pregnant. Her mother has created a cover story, that Alice has gone to Europe for the summer. Instead, Alice has gone to Los Angeles so she can have the baby and give it up for adoption without her father finding out. Jonathan works his magic and manipulates Gary and Alice into falling in love. When Alice has her baby, Gary asks her to marry him and says that he wants to help her raise the baby. So, I guess the nice couple who wanted to adopt the baby are just out of luck.

This episode was a bit odd. When Alice first comes to Los Angeles, she says she’s seven months pregnant. The episode takes place over a longer period of time than usual and Alice eventually has the baby. At no point does Alice ever appear to be pregnant. She wears baggy clothes but still, there’s only so much that an extra-large sweater can conceal when you’re that pregnant. There was also a weird scene where Gary, pretending to be the baby’s biological father, lied to the adoptive parents and claimed that he was on probation and that his mother was in a mental institution. The show played it for laughs but again, the couple seemed so nice and happy about the idea of adopting that Gary’s lies just felt cruel. And, for a show that was all about an angel on a mission from God, it’s interesting that Gary’s actions went unpunished. If anything, he was rewarded for them.

(Seriously, the couple that wanted to adopt Alice baby, they were so nice! That the episode just kind of pushed them aside really didn’t feel right. I get that Jonathan and Mark’s assignment was to help Alice and Gary but Gary is kind of a jerk and Alice is kind of immature. Whose going to help the Wallaces, who sincerely wanted to give the baby a good home?)

This episode was obviously heartfelt. For once, Michael Landon is the sole credited writer so one gets the feeling that this episode’s story and message both meant a lot to him. (That said, Landon’s approach to the story makes the message come across as being less pro-family and more anti-adoption.) In the end, the main problem is that neither Gary nor Alice really seem worthy of all of the effort that Jonathan is putting into the assignment. It’s hard not to feel that maybe Jonathan and Mark needed to help everyone out and not just Alice and Gary.