Welcome to the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers. This week, we have six trailers that feature everything from a killer to Santa Claus to a pithy tagline to a mean, bad killing machine to Dennis Quaid.
“Sorry, it’s too shocking!” I could do with a little less close-ups of moving mouths but this trailer seems oddly appropriate for a film called Gorp. Keep an eye out for a young Dennis Quaid.
“And I’ll never forget that chicken race…” This trailer has an oddly somber feel to it, considering that it appears to be advertising a silly high school movie. Continue to keep an eye out for a young Dennis Quaid.
This is one of those films that I own on DVD but I have yet to actually sit down and watch. Quentin Tarantino loves this film but I have to admit that I’m having a hard time forgiving Detroit for those obnoxious “Imported from Detroit” Chrysler commercials.
Hi out there. As I sit here typing this, I am so freaking sick, it is not even funny! Seriously. I’m congested, I’m running a fever, and I’m taking way too many naps while everyone else in the world is having a lot of fun playing outside and going to the new Twilight film. However, despite feeling all bleh, nothing will stop me from sharing another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers. NOTHING!
1) A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
One of the classic “old school” horror trailers. The bit with the stairs always freaks me out.
2) Alone in the Dark (1982)
Not to be confused with the later film from Uwe Boll.
3) Without Warning (1980)
Martin Landau was apparently busy in the early 80s.
4) Deadtime Stories (1986)
This film appears to be an alternative take on beloved bedtime stories and…wait. Bedtime. Deadtime. Hey, I just got that! Neat.
5) Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)
Apparently, this film has next to nothing to do with the original Prom Night and you have to ask yourself: if there’s no elaborate disco dance-off, then what’s the point? Still, I own this one on DVD and I’ll be watching it soon if I don’t start to feel better.
6) Pet Sematary 2 (1992)
I remember that I saw this movie on TV one late night when I was like ten or eleven and oh my God, it scared the Hell out of me! I mean, literally everyone dies in it! Even kids! Trust me, that’s a really scary thing to see when you’re still just a kid yourself. But anyway, I rewatched it last year and was mostly bored.
Hello to everyone out there in the real world! Because of some family obligations, I’m having to do a bit of a rush job on this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers. As such, I fear my commentary is probably a lot less witty this time around. I apologize and promise to be a lot funnier next week. Until then, feel free to supply your own witty commentary to go along with the trailers.
To be honest, I’ve never seen this movie but Jeff says that this is one of his favorite films of all time and just from watching the trailer, I think I can guess why. As a sidenote, check out the split second appearance from Steve Buscemi, looking all young and kinda hot in his weasel-like why.
“Don’t…don’t…don’t…don’t…” Seriously, though, this movie looks so bad but I’ve read reviews from several people who insist that it’s just bad enough to secretly be good. Why is everyone always carrying those gigantic backpacks in these movies? How did people put them on their backs without tipping over? That’s just one reason why you’ll never catch me camping. The other, of course, is that I have no desire to wake up out in the middle of nowhere and discover a chupacabra staring back at me.
Finally, in conclusion, this is the 70th entry in my series of grindhouse film posts. It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve done so many because I’ve enjoyed putting this 70th post together just as much as I enjoyed doing the first. I hope you’ve enjoy watching them as much as I enjoy putting them together. As much as I love trailers, I love getting your feedback regarding them even more. Thank you for continuing to read what I write and put up with me in general and, as always, stay supple! Je t’aime, mon ange.
I am so freaking depressed right now. Why? Because, as I sit here typing this, I am about to embark on my last weekend as a carefree, hedonistic young woman. That’s right. I’ve kinda sort got a birthday (bleh) on November 9th. Yes, I’m a Scorpio. Are you surprised? Anyway, getting older means getting boring and that really sucks and I’ll just leave it at that. Let’s see if a new edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers can cheer me up.
From director Rene Cardona, Jr. comes “the most shocking episode in human survival!” This is why I hate to fly. Well, that and intrusive security measures… (True story: when me and my sisters went to Italy, all four of us were patted down and frisked by the grabby fascists at DFW and it was such a demeaning experience that I ended up crying during the entire subsequent flight.)
It’s thermo-dynamic horror from outer space! Sometimes, I wish I had been born in 1942 or ’43 so that I could have had the experience of seeing trailers like this every single day but then again, I’d also probably be really old right now. Plus, my name would probably be something like Vivien because I like to think that my mom would have named me Vivien Leigh.
I recently watched this one on DVD and I have to give this trailer an aging nod of approval because it actually makes the film look kinda sorta exciting. It’s actually one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen.
Watching this trailer makes me wish I could turn into a cat and live forever.
Well, I’m sorry to say that the movies cannot stop the march of time, regardless of how much I wish they could. But at least they do make my time here just a little bit more bearable.
In the best grindhouse tradition, the first part of this trailer is made up of scenes from Last House On The Left. On another note, one of the benefits of living in north Texas is that we don’t have to deal with basements and all the icky little things that tend to live in basements.
The Hammer Mummy films never get as much respect as the old Hammer Dracula and Frankenstein films. This is mostly because the Mummy films tend to drag and the Mummy never quite had the charisma of a Christopher Lee or a Peter Cushing. Still, mummies are pretty freaky. I’d probably be more scared of them if I lived in an area with a larger concentration of archeological digs.
This is one of those trailers that I just happened to wander across on YouTube and the main reason it’s here is because I just like the kitschy, pop art feel to it. How scary can anyone named Harlequin really be?
“In Horrorvision!” Judging from this trailer, Horrorvision apparently is another way of saying, “Shot on video tape.” I actually own this film on DVD. I bought it solely because it was a Code Red DVD and I needed to complete my collection. I managed to watch about 10 minutes of it before the extreme tackiness of the whole thing overwhelmed me and I just had to turn it off and watch some Degrassi instead. Still the trailer has a certain deam-like quality to it.
This trailer gets to me because mannequins get to me. Seriously, they creep me out and once when I was like nine, I saw one move by itself in the mall. True story! Plus, the last time I went to Victoria’s Secret, there were headless, lingerie-clad mannequins in the display window. Seriously! Where were the heads? It was so creepy and serial killer-like. Don’t even get me started on Dexter this season. Seriously, mannequins suck.
Apparently, the Rapture was scheduled for yesterday and I missed it. Now, I suppose there are a lot of reasons as to why I might have been left behind but quite frankly, I blame my first boyfriend. Seriously, thanks for condemning me to three and a half years of tribulation, jerk! Anyway, as long as we’re all stuck together, why not enjoy six more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers? Since it’s still October, I’m continuing my horror theme with this entry. Plus, considering what the future holds for us, we should probably start getting used to a little horror…
Agck! I just recently saw this movie and that little raft scene totally freaked me out! I would never get on a raft to begin with because it worries me that I might end up with some raftmate who keeps going, “Row! Row! Row!” On another note, what’s up with those people who are always like, “Go! Go! Go!” in action scenes? I’m just like, “Okay, fascist much?” I mean, if you want to be all Mad Men-like, go watch AMC.
Three quick notes: 1) Watch carefully and you’ll see George Clooney pop up for about five seconds in this trailer, 2) if you don’t want people like getting killed at your school, don’t name it Horror, and 3) I made my sister watch this trailer and she assures me that a literal skeleton would never be allowed to become a cheerleader.
I assume this is where you go if you survive Horror High. Usually I try to be kinda coy and funny about these things but this time I’m just going to flat-out say it: Based on this, this film appears to truly suck. But I can’t resist a trailer that features melodramatic narration….
Okay, this movie also looks terrible but check out the so-bad-its-going-t0-make-you-kill-someone musical score. Again, I’d just like to point out that if this high school had simply been named after a dead president, a lot of needless death could have been avoided. But no, they had to go with Slaughter High.
As if I needed further proof to make my case, check out this trailer for Hell High. I own this movie on DVD and I have to admit that I bought it solely because of the name.
After those last few trailers, you may be ready for a trailer of a film that’s actually kinda sorta good. So, here’s one for David Cronenberg’s Videodrome, which is one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, what with all that “new flesh” talk and James Woods’ body doing weird things…agck!
It’s time for the latest installment of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers and, continuing with October’s theme, they are once again all horror trailers. This week, I set out to prove that Argento’s a master and everything’s scarier in German. Let’s begin:
There’s no way I could possibly get through October without including at least one Friday the 13th trailer. I went with this one in order to specifically prove that everything’s scarier in German.
2) Paganini Horror (1989)
The trailer for this Italian horror film is in German as well and I have to be honest that, despite being a fourth German, I speak the language like not at all. Then again, considering that this is one of Luigi Cozzi’s films, it’s probably for the best that I can’t understand the trailer. All I know is that the killer’s mask is creepy and who doesn’t love Venice? Seriously, I went there the summer after I graduated high school and there’s no other place I’d more want to be stalked by Klaus Kinski. One more piece of trivia (and don’t quote me on this), I think that Cozzi may have attempted to sell this film as a part of Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy.
Speaking of Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy, here’s the U.S. trailer for the film that started it all, Suspiria. While you can probably guess that Suspiria is one of my favorite horror films, it’s also one of my favorite ballet movies as well. In fact, the ballet aspect of Suspiria is largely responsible for me discovering my love of Italian horror because, if not for the fact that it took place at a cursed dance academy, I doubt I would have paid as much attention to the movie the first time I saw it.
While Suspiria is definitely more fun, I still think that the second part of the trilogy — Inferno — is a better horror film. Seriously, the underwater sequence at the start of this film still freaks me out.
Twenty-seven years after Inferno, Argento finally concluded the trilogy with Mother of Tears. A lot of horror fans practically foam at the mouth going on and on about how much they hated this film. I happened to have enjoyed it. So there.
Continuing on the Argento theme, here’s a classic trailer for a classic film. George Romero may have directed the American version of Dawn of the Dead but the European version (known as Zombi) was put together by Argento and guess which one is superior? Anyway, this trailer is for the Romero version:
As if October wasn’t already scary enough, my laptop is slowly dying and, with my luck, it probably won’t even return as a zombie. Fortunately, it still has enough life in it for me to do at least one more edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.
1) The Curse of the Crimson Altar (1968)
This is apparently an old Hammer film. I haven’t seen it but the image of a blue Barbara Steele seems to show up in just about every other horror movie guide.
I actually have this on DVD but I haven’t watched it yet and this trailer doesn’t exactly inspire a whole lot of hope. That said, I love how the narrator makes such an effort to sound enthusiastic. Our next trailer will feature “Oscar nominee” Linda Blair as well…
This is a good example of an accidental grindhouse film. The producers and the director may have been going for something different but the end results are pretty much evident from the trailer. The best thing about this trailer is Ennio Morricone’s score. (By the way, I would also suggest that all of you people going all cuckoo over the teaser trailer for David Fincher’s Girl With The Dragon Tattoo compare this relatively entertaining trailer with the actual film it was advertising.)
Through the Shattered Lens 