Tag Archives: Kristen Miller

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.26 “Three Dudes And A Baby”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

All good things must end.

And so must all bad things.

Episode 2.26 “Three Dudes And A Baby”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 20th, 2000)

It’s over!

After two seasons and over 50 episodes, Malibu, CA is over!

As opposed to the other Peter Engel shows that I’ve reviewed on this site, Malibu CA doesn’t get a real finale.  Instead, the final episode is just another stupid 22 minutes that signify nothing.  When waitress Stacie (Kristen Miller) goes out of town, Murray, Jason, and Peter take care of her baby.  Awwwww …. wait a minute.  Why would anyone leave their baby with those idiots?

When the three men find out that Stacie is getting divorced from her husband, all three try to step up.  Murray asks Stacie to marry him.  So does Jason.  Peter offers to adopt her.  Stacie reveals that she and her husband have decided to stay together.  Are you sure, Stacie?  Murray is like really rich.

Meanwhile, Lisa (the character, not me!) gets upset because her little sister is a fan of Traycee’s television show and is thinking of quitting college so she can become an actress.  Lisa blames all of this on Traycee which is weird because 1) Traycee didn’t force Lisa’s sister to do anything and 2) Traycee has found a lot of success as an actress and if Traycee can do it, why can’t Lisa’s sister do it?

This is a typical Lisa story.  Lisa (the character, not me!) acts like a total bitch, whines nonstop, and blames everything on Traycee, even though none of it is really Traycee’s fault.  Adding the character of Lisa was one of the biggest mistakes that was Malibu CA made during its second season.  The first season was pretty dire but, in the end, it was actually better than the second season and that’s entirely because the first season did not feature Lisa (the character, not me).  I don’t want to be too hard on the actress who played her because it’s not exactly as if she was being given great material to work with.  That said, Lisa was a poorly-written character who basically was portrayed as always being annoyed with something.  The fact that the finale of the show focuses on her as opposed to wrapping up the stories of Jason and Scott says a lot about why this show was the most forgettable of all of the Peter Engel-produced sitcoms.

And so, Malibu CA comes to a close and there’s really not much to say about it.  Peter Engel tried to work his Saved By The Bell/California Dreams/Hang Time magic but the show never really found a consistent tone and neither of the Collins brothers were particularly likable protagonists.  It’s really not a shock that neither Jason Hayes nor Trevor Merszei went on to have acting careers after this show ended.

On a positive note, Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor were consistently amusing, if just because they were smart enough to embrace the oddness of their characters.  And Ed Blatchford had his moments as the father figure.  Otherwise, this was a forgettable sitcom that signified the end of an era.

Next week, something new will be coming to TSL in this timeslot.  What will it be?  We’ll find out next Thursday!

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Someday, I’ll finish this show and move on to something good….

Episode 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 21st, 1999)

This week, on Malibu, CA, Jason has a crush on a girl named Holly (Kristen Miller).  Holly, however, is already dating someone else.  She says that her boyfriend is an accountant and is too obsessed with work.

Does Jason:

  1. accept that Holly is not single and move on
  2. accept thar Holly is not single and wait to see what happens with her current relationship, or
  3. act like a sociopathic little bitch?

If you guessed the third answer, you obviously know your Malibu, CA!

Needless to say, Jason acting like a sociopathic little bitch is hardly a new occurrence.  When this show originally started, I thought that Scott was the more unlikable of the two main characters.  He was just so smarmy and self-satisfied.  But, as this season has progressed, I’ve come to realize that Scott is just a dumb frat boy who is trying to enjoy himself before his mid-life crisis hits.  Jason is so just as smarmy and self-satisfied as Scott but he’s also whiny and that makes him a hundred times more annoying.

(Another annoying thing is that, whenever Jason breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to the audience, he always awkwardly pauses before delivering his lines because the actor is obviously waiting for someone off-camera to cue him.  This was especially noticeable in this episode.)

Jason’s plan, as usual, involves manipulating Murray.  Murray has been hired to provide surfing updates on the local radio station (which broadcasts straight from the beach because there’s no way Peter Engel was going to pay for an extra set).  Jason announces that he’s going to be Murray’s producer.  Under Jason’s direction, Murray becomes “The Dude of Love,” offering up advise to lovelorn surfers.

First, Jason convinces Holly that she should call the Dude of Love for advice.

Then he convinces Murray that he’s sick so that Murray will stay home and Jason will able to take Holly’s call.  Jason does an imitation of Murray and tells Holly to dump her boyfriend.  Since the radio show is being broadcast literally from the beach, everyone can see Jason pretending to be Murray so I’m not really sure how this plan is supposed to work.

Anyway, Holly does not dump her boyfriend and it turns out that he’s not only an accountant but also a weight-lifter.  The accountant wants to beat up Murray so Jason confesses the truth.  The accountant tells Jason to stay away from Holly and to always save his receipts.  Okay, the receipt thing was kind of funny.

Meanwhile, Stads, Scott, and Mr. Collins deal with Honest Ernie (Ricky Paull Goldin), a conman who sold the beach to Tracy.  Of course, no one can sell the beach because it’s public property.  Honest Ernie also sells fake baseball cards.  Anyway, I’m not going to to waste my time detailing this dumb B-plot but the gang tricks Honest Ernie into buying a plot of land in Texas that doesn’t exist.  Tracy gets her money back.  Yay!

(That’s still technically fraud but whatever.)

Even by the standards of this show, this was a dumb episode.  Murray deserves better friends.

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 4.8 “Kodak Moment” and 4.9 “Meet Mr. History”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Chris meets a princess and L-Train becomes Mr. History.

Episode 4.8 “Kodak Moment”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 14th, 2000)

Chris, Al, and L-Train are standing at a newsstand when a blonde (Kristen Miller) with a fake British accent runs up and kisses Chris.

“Do you always kiss strangers?” Chris ask her.

“I do if they’re cute,” she replies.

“Wooooooooooo!” the audience replies.

My immediate reaction was to assume that Chris was being set up by a human trafficking ring and that he would soon be finding himself in Hostel-style situation.  And, to be honest, I didn’t really have an objection to that because Chris is a pretty stupid character and, considering everything that has happened to him over the course of the last four seasons, it’s kind of hard to see what else was really left for the show to do with him.  He’s served his purpose so why not use Chris as a cautionary tale?

However, it turns out that the blonde is actually Princess Sarah, a member of European royalty who just wants to lead a normal life but who can’t get away from the paparazzi.  Poor thing.  Who cares?  Anyway, Chris and Princess Sarah go on a date but then Chris sees Sarah kissing another man and he decides the best way to react is to work with Al and L-Train to get a picture of the princess that they can then sell to the press.  But then Princess Sarah puts on a fake mustache so she can sneak onto campus and explain to Chis that the man was her ex-boyfriend and she was just kissing him to say goodbye.  Chris forgives Sarah but he forgets to call off Al and L-Train.  Al sneaks into Sarah’s hotel room and takes a lot of pictures.  Chris learns a lesson about privacy and I get a migraine.  To escape the paparazzi, Sarah returns to the UK because, as we all know, the British tabloids are notorious for respecting the privacy of the rich and famous.

(If Sarah were played by a British actress, this episode would perhaps be a bit less annoying.  But the fake accent on top of all the usual City Guys foolishness just makes the whole thing unwatchable.)

Meanwhile, Jamal, Dawn, and Cassidy try to catch a ghost on camera.  Ms. Noble eventually joins them.  It’s meant to be a parody of the Blair Witch Project.  It turns out that there isn’t really a ghost at Manny High  Instead, there’s just Ms. Noble and the janitor playing a practical joke on the students.  What?  Didn’t Ms.  Noble just get married?  Why isn’t she on her honeymoon?

This was dumb.  Let’s move on and meet Mr. History.

Episode 4.9 “Meet Mr. History”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 20th, 2000)

Ms. Noble remembers that she’s supposed to be a teacher so she assigns everyone a research report.  The students have to track down an old person and interview them.  Chris and Jamal don’t know any interesting old people so they turn in an interview with Jamal’s fictional Uncle Jesse.  Ms. Noble is so impressed that she arranges for Uncle Jesse to appear on a local television show.  Uh-oh.  Time for L-Train to dress up like an old guy and go on television!  Of course, L-Train is in no way believable as an old guy so everyone ends up getting yelled at by Ms. Noble.  Chris, Jamal, and L-Train attempt to apologize to the producer of the television show but end up getting their apology broadcast to the entire city.  The show presents the apology as being the right thing to do but there’s no way that Chris, Jamal, and L-Train aren’t going to get mugged the next time they get on the subway.  The entire city of New York now believes them to be a bunch of …. well, jerks!  (As well all know from the mock trial episode of City Guys, jerk is the worst thing you can call someone in New York.)

Meanwhile, Dawn and Cassidy go into business with Al and it goes about as well as L-Train’s glowing basketball idea.  No one on this show ever learns anything!

These city guys are getting dumb.

Shattered America #73: Team America: World Police (dir by Trey Parker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Team_america_poster_300px

So, are we once again allowed to watch Team America: World Police?

As you may remember, back in December, the entire nation totally freaked out over the possibility that North Korea might be offended by the James Franco/Seth Rogen comedy The Interview.  Hackers — who many assumed were working for North Korea — released embarrassing emails that were exchanged among Sony executives and filmmakers.  Barely literate threats were posted, warning that any theater showing The Interview would be blown up.  Common sense should have told us that these were empty threats but instead, everyone panicked.

Sony announced that they would not be releasing The Interview.  The film would never see the light of day.  Overdramatic people like me got on twitter and announced that, if Sony didn’t release The Interview, then free speech was dead.  “It is every American’s duty to see The Interview!” I tweeted, “If you don’t see The Interview, you’re letting the terrorists win!”

Then Sony changed their mind and released The Interview after all.  People got to watch it.  Critics got to slam it.  Free speech lived for yet another day.

As for me, I never got around to watching it.

Uhmm, anyway…

What got forgotten in all of this drama is that some theaters announced that they would show the 2004 film Team America: World Police in the place of the Interview.  In many ways, it was a brilliant idea.  Team America, after all, is a brilliantly profane satire from South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.  Not only was the film a parody of overdone Hollywood blockbusters but it also featured the members of Team America using their powers to take out Kim Jong-il, the father of the political leader targeted for assassination in The Interview.  Even better than that, it featured Team America violently destroying the vapid (and surprisingly well-armed) celebrities who Kim Jong-il had tricked into supporting him.  How can you not love a film that features a puppet of Michael Moore blowing itself up?

Oh, did I mention that the entire movie features puppets?  Because it so does!

The use of puppets allows Parker and Stone to not only create some spectacular action scenes but also to feature parodies of more than a few real-life celebrities, all of whom are portrayed as being stupid, trendy, and easily manipulated.  The fact that Sean Penn saw himself lampooned in the film and then wrote an angry letter to Parker and Stone (ending it with, “Fuck you!”) is one of many reasons to love Team America.

So, we weren’t going to get to see The Interview but at least we could see Team America.  But then Paramount Pictures announced that they were not going to let any theater show Team America.  As annoyed as I was by what happened with The Interview, the ban on Team America was even more annoying.

I mean, we all knew The Interview as probably a really bad film.  But we also knew that Team America was great!  Indeed, banning Team America seemed like exactly the type of thing that one of the film’s puppet celebrities would have demanded.

Plus, as Team America‘s theme song reminded us — “America!  Fuck yeah!”  Bowing down to dictators does not make anyone want to shout, “America!  Fuck yeah!”

More like, “America!  Fuck no!”

Anyway, eventually Sony relented and released The Interview.  But I haven’t heard anything about Team America.  However, it’s currently available on Netflix so I’m going to assume that it is once again legal to watch Team America.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I still felt like I was breaking the law when I recently rewatched it.

Yet another reason to love Team America: World Police.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPBX47zSktc