King Solmon’s Mines | Through the Shattered Lens

After her archaeologist father disappears while searching for the fabled mines of King Solomon, Jesse Houston (Sharon Stone) hires famed explorer Allan Quartermain (Richard Chamberlain) to help her find him. After walking around in the jungle and exploring a nearby village, Allan and Jesse discover that her father has been kidnapped by a German military expedition who want to use King Solomon’s treasure to fund their war effort. Working with the Germans is Allan’s old enemy, Dogati (John Rhys-Davies). Allan and Jesse find themselves in a race against time to find the mines before the Germans. Along the way, they steal an airplane, fight German soldiers on a train, and nearly get cooked alive in a giant cauldron.

Because this is a Cannon film and it was made at the height of Indiana Jones’s popularity and it stars John Rhys-Davies and it has a score that sounds like it was written by someone trying too hard to be John Williams, you might be tempted to think that King Solomon’s Mines is a rip-off of Raiders of the Lost Ark. However, there are some crucial differences between Raiders and King Solomon’s Mines. For instance, Raiders of the Lost Ark took place during World War II. King Solomon’s Mines takes place during World War I. Raiders of the Lost Ark had angels that melted a man’s face. King Solomon’s Mines has a lava pit that makes you explode if you fall into it. Raiders of the Lost Ark has a big fight in an airfield while King Solomon’s Mines has a big fight at an airfield …. well, wait, I guess they do have a few things in common.

Probably the biggest difference between Raiders of the Lost Ark and King Solomon’s Mines is that Raiders had Harrison Ford and Karen Allen while King Solomon’s Mines has to make due with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone. (If the imdb trivia section is to be believed, Sharon Stone was cast because Menahem Golan mistook her for Kathleen Turner.) Along with generating zero romantic sparks, neither Chamberlain nor Stone come across as if they’ve ever even seen a jungle, much less explored one. The only time that the two of them are credible as anything other than actors slumming on Cannon’s dime is when they’re yelling at each other. There’s also a scene where they’re trying to steal an airplane and Chamberlain tells Stone to “reach between your legs and grab it.” That was funny, I guess.

Along with trying to be an adventure, King Solomon’s Mines also tries to be a comedy. As a general rule, Cannon films are great when they’re unintentionally funny but not so much when they actually try to be funny. The film’s idea of comedy is Richard Chamberlain having to do an impromptu jig while someone shoots at his feet. Add in a healthy dose of casual racism as Allan and Jesse run into a tribe in Africa who want to cook them in a giant stew pot and you’ve got a film so bad that you’ll hardly believe it could have been produced by the same people who gave us Delta Force, which is, of course, the greatest film ever made.

Golan and Globus had enough confidence in King Solomon’s Mines that they shot a sequel before the first film was even released. Tomorrow, I will force myself to watch and review Allan Quartermain and The Lost City of Gold. And, after that, I’ll probably go sit in a corner and think about what I’ve done.

So, this is a weird one.

As we all know, today is Oscar Sunday! As I wait for the big show to begin, I’ve been watching some of the Oscar-nominated films that I have collected on the DVR over the past month. For instance, this morning, I watched 1950’s King Solomon’s Mines.

King Solomon’s Mines was nominated for best picture of the year and watching it … well, you really have to wonder why. It’s an adventure film, one that was shot on location in Africa and it features a lot of footage of wild animals. It also features several scenes that were shot in actual African villages and a good deal of time is devoted to documenting tribal rituals. It’s true that the film has a plot but, for the most part, it’s a travelogue. One gets the feeling that it was mostly sold as a chance for American and European audiences to see a part of the world that, up until that point, they had only read about. Not only would they get to experience Africa from the safety of the neighborhood movie theater but they’d get to see it in a color as well!

(Seriously, it’s difficult to watch the nature footage in King Solomon’s Mines without imagining a serious voiced narrator saying, “However, one gazelle has strayed too far from its mother. The lion cubs will eat tonight…”)

As for the plot, King Solomon’s Mines is based on a novel by British adventure enthusiast H. Rider Haggard. Allan Quartermain (Stewart Granger) is an experienced guide and hunter. When we first meet him, he’s helping two rich Englishmen hunt an elephant. It’s a disturbing scene, largely because it’s obvious the footage of the elephant dying is real. Allan prevents his clients from killing more than one elephant and later talks about how much he hates his job but still, it’s pretty much to impossible to really like him after watching that elephant die.

Anyway, Allan gets hired by Elizabeth Curtis (Deborah Kerr) and her brother John (Richard Carlson). It seems that Elizabeth’s husband disappeared in Africa while searching for a legendary treasure. Allan tells Elizabeth that her husband is probably dead. Elizabeth still insists on searching for him…

…and, from that point on, you can pretty much predict everything that is going to happen. Though the footage of Africa looks great, it’s just not a very interesting film. Playing the type of role that would probably be played by Gerard Butler if the movie was made today, Stewart Granger comes across as being bored with it all. For that matter, even the great Deborah Kerr seems as if she’d rather be hanging out with Robert Mitchum.

Still, it is interesting to note that Hugo Haas shows up as a villain. Who is Hugo Haas? He was a Hungarian actor who, after playing a bad guy here, went on to direct several idiosyncratic B-movies, like Hold Back Tomorrow, The Girl On The Bridge, Bait, and One Girl’s Confession. If nothing else, watching King Solomon’s Mines has inspired me to, someday, do a little Hugo Haas film festival here on the Lens.

King Solomon’s Mines seems like an odd best picture nominee. Its triumphs are largely technical and even those successes no longer seem that special. It was, however, a big hit at the box office and I imagine that probably has something to do with its nomination. However, when the Oscars were awarded, best picture went to All About Eve.

Stewart Granger was no match for Bette Davis.