The Films of 2024: Miller’s Girl (dir by Jade Halley Bartlett)


Halfway through Miller’s Girl, I yelled “SHUT UP!” at my television.

I wasn’t shouting at a specific person in the film or because I had heard something that I found to be morally offensive.  I was just shouting at the movie in general.  Miller’s Girl is a film about people who talk nonstop, despite not really having anything interesting or new to say.  It’s a film about smart people but it doesn’t so much capture the way that smart people sound as much as it captures a dumb person’s idea of what it’s like to sound smart.  All of the dialogue is so calculated and so overwritten and so mind-thuddingly obvious, I was tempted to mute the film.  But then I’d just be stuck looking at the images and the images weren’t that interesting either.

The Miller of the title is Jonathan Albert Miller (Martin Freeman), a writer who once published a short story collection called — *snicker* — Apostrophes and Ampersands.  (Again, this is the type of title that someone who has never actually read a book would consider to be clever.)  Miller hasn’t written anything since he married wife, Bitchy McBitchface (played by Dagmara Domińczyk).  Actually, her name is Beatrice and she spends most of her time drinking and reminding Mr. Miller that he’s a failure.

Mr. Miller teaches a creative writing class at a high school in Tennessee.  He enjoys sharing a smoke and a cup of coffee with his best friend, Coach Boris Fillmore (Bashir Salahuddin).  Even though Fillmore is a coach, he speaks in the same overwritten and florid dialogue as everyone else in this film because God forbid anyone sound like an individual.  Mr. Miller finds himself becoming obsessed with one of his students, Cairo Sweet (Jenna Ortega).  But Cairo, it turns out, might just be manipulating Mr. Miller so that she can use her experience of being seduced by a teacher for her admissions essay to Yale.  Meanwhile, Cairo’s friend, Winnie (Gideon Adlon, giving the best performance in the film), longs for Cairo.

The script for this film ended up on the 2016 Black List, which is the annual list of the “best unproduced scripts” in Hollywood.  It’s amazing how many truly mediocre films have first gained attention by having their script included in the Black List.  Cedar Rapids, The Beaver, Broken City, The Promotion, Dracula Untold, St. Vincent, The Judge, Money Monster, Boston Strangler, The Mother, and now Miller’s Girl are all Black List films that went into production.  Perhaps the film’s overwritten and overly arch dialogue seemed brilliant on the page but when it’s actually recited out loud, it just sounds like everyone involved is trying too hard to sound like an intellectual.  Eventually, you find yourself longing to hear just one line that might convey some sort of genuine emotion as opposed to empty posturing.  In a moment of unintentional hilarity, Miller masturbates while reading one of Cairo’s stories.  The film makes the mistakes of including Cairo reading the story in voice-over, revealing that Cairo is not only a terrible writer but that Miller will basically jerk off to anything.

Jade Halley Bartlett not only wrote the script but also makes her directorial debut and gives the film a flat visual style to go along with the intellectual emptiness of it all.  This cast is full of talented people but Jenna Ortega, who has been so good in other movies and shows, is miscast as a femme fatale and Dagmara Dominczyk’s attempt at a Tennessee accent will bring to mind cats mating in an alley.  Gideon Adlon is the only member of the cast who makes you believe that her character has a life outside of the requirements of the script.

I really thought there was no way I would see a film worse than Mea Culpa this year but Miller’s Girl has proven me wrong.

Horror Film Review: X (dir by Ti West)


The year is 1979 and the easiest way to get rich and become a star is to appear in a porno film.  At least, that’s what Maxine (Mia Goth) and her older boyfriend, Wayne (Martin Henderson), think.  Wayne’s the producer.  Maxine is one of the stars.  The name of the movie is going to be The Farmer’s Daughter and it’s going to star Jackson Hole (Kid Cudi) as a man who stumbles across as a farm and gets to know the farmer’s daughters, played by Maxine and Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow).  Directing the film will be a film student-turned-director named RJ Nichols (Owen Campbell).  Holding the boom mic and otherwise helping out will be RJ’s girlfriend, Lorraine (Jenna Ortega).  Lorraine may say that she’s not impressed with the idea of working on a pornographic film but everyone an tell that’s a lie.  Everyone except for RJ, of course….

Wayne has even found a farm where they can shoot.  The farm belongs to Howard (Stephen Ure) and Pearl (Mia Goth, made up to look like she’s in her 80s).  Howard suspects that Wayne is making an adult film and he doesn’t exactly approve of it but it also appears that he and Pearl could use the money.  Howard warns Wayne not to bother Pearl while they’re filming.  However, it doesn’t take long for Pearl to wander out of the house and to discover what’s going on in the guest house.  That night, people start to die….

X caused quite a stir when it was released earlier this year, with critics declaring it be a horror classic.  I finally watched the film last week.  X is undeniably a well-made film and it deserves a huge amount of  credit, in this repressed era of trigger warnings, for not holding back on either the violence or the sex.  Mia Goth deserves all of the praise that she’s received for playing both Pearl and Maxine.  At first, it might seem like stunt casting to cast Goth in both roles but actually, it works well with the film’s subtext.  Pearl wants to kill Maxine (and her friends) because they represent the youth that she’s lost.  Maxine initially fears Pearl because she represents the inevitability of getting older.  Unless you die young, you’re going to get old and much of Maxine’s actions are all about doing whatever it takes not to get old.  If that means running straight into danger while fueled only on cocaine and fury, that’s what Maxine is going to do.  The cocaine that Maxine snorts is as important to the story as Pearl’s resentment, Wayne’s greed, and the preacher who continually appears on television.  Maxine probably couldn’t do half of what she does in the film if she wasn’t continually snorting coke and it’s significant that the other characters in the film remain relatively drug-free.  Cocaine is a drug for those who want to confident and free of the worries and the self-doubt that comes with age.  X becomes a film about the battle between the young and the old, a conflict that has defined much of recent history as the younger generation wonders when the older generation is finally going to surrender their power.

At the same time, it’s hard not to feel that the film itself was a bit overpraised by critics who were stunned to discover that a horror film could feature good acting, carefully composed shots, and clever editing.  Judging from some of the reviews, you would get the feeling that some of these critics have never seen a subversive horror film before.  X is a well-made slasher film that refuses to buy into the old trope that one has to be an innocent or a good person to survive a film like this.  Indeed, the biggest mistake that people make in X is to trying to do the right thing.  But it’s hardly the first film to comment on the rules of the genre by breaking them.

In the end, the most important thing about X is that it’s an effective and well-made horror movie.  Visually, the film does a great job of capturing the isolation of rural Texas and all the members of the cast do a good job bringing their characters to life, even if some of the country accents a bit overdone.  Martin Henderson is amusing playing a role that seems like it was written for Matthew McConaughey and Jenna Ortega does a good job playing a character who manages to be both annoying and sympathetic.  (She’s far better here than she was in The Fallout.)  The film ultimately belongs to Mia Goth, playing two different characters who both seem destined to meet the same fate.

As far as Ti West horror films go, X is never as energetic or as much fun as The House of the Devil.  But still, it’s a good rural slasher film.

Film Review: The Fallout (dir by Megan Park)


The Fallout, which premiered on HBOMax way back in January, opens with a scene of a sandwich being made.  It’s a peanut butter sandwich but the person making it is putting way too much peanut butter on the bread.  The kitchen counter is a mess.  The knife looks dirty.  To be honest, it’s kind of sickening to watch.

No, the film is not about the sandwich.  In fact, the sandwich never appears again.  But I have to admit that sandwich represents the entire film to me.  That scene, I think, is meant to tell us that we’re watching a film about real people and sometimes, real people prepare disgusting food in a cluttered kitchen.  And that’s true.  Then again, sometimes they don’t and that’s something that some filmmakers don’t want to acknowledge.  Indeed, there’s something rather condescending about the cinematic belief that being authentic is the equivalent of being a slob.  It’s an interesting phenomena how a film can try so hard to be “real” that it instead becomes the opposite.

The Fallout certainly deals with an important subject.  Vada Cavell (Jenna Ortega) goes to high school on a day like any other day and, without warning, finds herself in the middle of a school shooting.  The shooting itself is handled well.  We don’t see the shooter nor do we learn anything about him.  We just hear the gunshots while Vada, Mia Reed (Maddie Ziegler — yes, of Dance Moms fame), and Quinton (Niles Fitch) hide in a bathroom stall.  It’s a terrifying scene and it immediately reminded me of what it was like when I was in high school and I would see stories about school shootings and wonder if my school was going to be next.

The rest of the film deals with the emotional, political, and mental fallout of the shooting.  Quinton struggles with the death of his brother.  Vada’s best friend, Nick (Will Ropp), becomes a self-righteous David Hogg type.  And Vada starts spending all of her time with Mia, a dancer and influencer whose Dads are in Europe and apparently can’t even be bothered to come back to the States even after their daughter is involved in a school shooting.  Vada, who has a total crush on Mia, starts hanging out at Mia’s mansion.  Mia is happy to finally have a friend that she can talk to, even if Vada is kind of annoying.

(The whole thing with the Dads being in Europe and Mia living alone in her mansion feels a bit too convenient, to be honest.)

The film is dealing with important issues, which is one reason why it’s gotten so many good reviews.  This is one of those films that many people feel obligated to like because otherwise, they might run the risk of being told that they don’t care about school shootings.  But, honestly, the film doesn’t really have that much to say.  It hits all of the expected beats and, as much as the film tries to make everything messy and real, it often seems like it’s trying too hard.  Of course, Vada is going to use drugs to get through her first day back at school.  Of course, Vada’s father is going to encourage her to shout out her frustrations at the top of her lungs.  Of course, Vada’s mother is going to be remote and controlling.  Of course, her little sister is going to have a breakdown.  Of course, her best friend is going to get mad at her for not wanting to get involved with his nascent political career.  Of course, there’s going to be an absolutely cringey moment where Vada starts talking a mile a minute just because she smoked one joint.  To be honest, I’ve never seen anyone react to weed quite the way that Vada does.  She’s like the person who gets drunk off half a beer and then won’t stop talking.  It’s freaking annoying.  Throughout the film, there are occasional moments that work but, ultimately, it’s never quite as insightful as it obviously believes itself to be.

Jenna Ortega does give a good performance as Vada.  As written, the character is often annoying but, then again, the same can be said of most people and one can only imagine what Vada would have been like without Ortega’s likable screen presence.  The film is pretty much stolen, though, by Maddie Ziegler.  Ziegler reveals the lonely reality behind the influencer façade.  Since Ziegler is herself a dancer and an influencer, she brings a lot of her own persona to Mia but, at the same time, she also makes Mia into a believable character who has a life and an existence that’s separate from the actress playing her.  After The Book of Henry and Music, The Fallout actually gives Ziegler a chance to prove that she can act as well as she can dance.

As opposed to Gus Van Sant’s Elephant or Fran Kranz’s Mass, which both that the courage to acknowledge that violence and its consequences can never be truly understood or easily defined, The Fallout tries too hard to find definitive meaning in an incomprehensible tragedy.  For all of its good intentions and its attempts to be realistic, there’s a shallowness at the heart of The Fallout that keeps it from working.

Ghostface returns in the new Scream trailer!


From the directors of Ready or Not comes yet another chapter in Wes Craven’s Scream series. I’ll admit I’m liking the cast in this one. We have Melissa Barerra (In the Heights), Jenna Ortega (Yes Day), Dylan Minnette (30 Reasons Why), Jack Quaid (The Boys), Marley Shelton (Planet Terror), Kyle Gallner (Jennifer’s Body), and Mikey Madison (Once Upon a Time…In Hollywood)

Then you have the returning cast, which includes Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Most importantly, it appears that Roger L. Jackson is voicing the Ghostface again! On a side note, Jackson was also responsible for Mojo Jojo’s voice in The Powerpuff Girls. (“Curses!”)

January movies don’t always do very well, but we’ll see what happens with this one.

Scream releases in cinemas on January 14th, 2022.