Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
This week, Snake shows that whatever it takes, he’s going to make it through.
Episode 1.2 “Mother and Child Reunion: Part 2”
(Dir by Bruce McDonald, originally aired on July 1st, 2002)
Snake threatens to kill a guy in this episode!
Now, to be clear, the guy in question definitely had it coming. While Spike enjoyed her class reunion, Emma snuck out of the house, went down to a hotel, and waited for Jordan. Sitting in the lobby, she was approached by Mr. Nystrom (Jeff Gruich), who claimed to be Jordan’s teacher. Mr. Nystrom, who was carrying a pizza box, invited Emma upstairs to meet with Jordan. Emma followed him but, once she stepped into his hotel room and discovered that there weren’t any environmentally-minded teens around, Emma realized that there was no Jordan and “Mr. Nystrom” was actually the person who had been e-mailing her.
Fortunately, Manny, Toby, and JT figured out that Emma had gone out to meet Jordan so they hacked her e-mail (Emma’s password was “Pogues,” after Spike’s favorite band) and found out what hotel “Jordan” was staying at. They then ran to the Degrassi Community School and found Spike and Snake dancing at their reunion. They told Spike and Snake where Emma was. Spike and Snake then went to the hotel and Snake banged on the door until Mr. Nystrom answered.
(Oddly, neither one of them appeared to have called the cops on the way over to the hotel.)
While Spike ran into the room to get her daughter, Snake grabbed Mr. Nystrom, pinned him against the wall, and threatened to “snap (his) neck.” And I have to say that, as dorky as Archie “Snake” Simpson may usually be, that was pretty freaking hot.
Meanwhile, at the reunion, Joey heard Keith talking to Allison Hunter about how he wasn’t sure he actually wanted to marry Caitlin. That led to Joey getting into a brawl with Keith while Caitlin was giving her “most distinguished alumni” speech. Caitlin broke up with Keith and she and Joey reconciled. It wasn’t the first time that they reconciled and it won’t be the last.
At the house, Emma apologized for panicking Spike and then added, “Like you’ve never made a mistake? Like having me!” Wow, that’s …. kind of sad. Spike assures Emma that becoming a mom at the age of 14 was not a mistake. However, sneaking out to meet a guy you’ve never met is definitely a mistake! What Spike doesn’t mention is that this could have all been avoided if Emma wasn’t so obsessed with protecting the environment.
Next week: the school year begins! Hopefully, Emma will have learned her lesson about getting involved in the environmental movement.
Last night, I watched a classic episode from the 3rd season of Degrassi: The Next Generation, Take On Me!
Why Was I Watching It, eh?
A few days ago, when I wrote my review of R.L. Stine’s Trapped, I started thinking about how much I love Degrassi‘s take on The Breakfast Club. That led to me getting out my Season 3 DVD and watching Take On Me!
What Was It Aboot?
This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2004. It’s the weekend in Canada but instead of watching a hockey game and studying the dual languages of their native country, five Degrassi high school students are serving detention. Ellie Nash (Stacey Farber) skipped school. Hazel Aden (Andrea Lewis) used the school computers to look up porn. Jimmy Brooks (DRAKE! — back when he was still known as Aubrey Graham) and Toby Isaacs (Jake Goldsbie) hacked into the school’s computers in an attempt to change Jimmy’s grades. And rebel Sean Cameron (Daniel Clark) is in detention because he’s suspected of being a part of a gang of thieves who are terrorizing the entire school!
Together, the five students talk about their different cliques, play truth or dare, and sneak up to the roof. Ellie and Sean start to fall for each other but how will Sean react when he discovers that Ellie has a secret motive for being in detention?
What Worked:
This is one of those episodes of Degrassi that you either love or you hate. You either can’t believe how blatantly the show ripped off The Breakfast Club or else you watch it and go, “Oh cool, they’re ripping off The Breakfast Club!”
Myself, I love this episode! Not only does it center on two of my favorite characters, Ellie and Sean, but it’s also the start of the Ellie/Sean romance! Unfortunately, the Ellie/Sean romance would only last a few episodes but they were a great couple. Stacey Farber and Daniel Clark had a really great chemistry in their scenes together, as can be seen in this episode when they go up to the roof and they talk about thievery and self-harm. The scene where Ellie shows Sean the scars on her arm is one of the best in the history of Degrassi.
This episode also features one of my favorite Degrassi exchanges. When Ellie says she’s in detention for skipping school, Jimmy deadpans, “Wow, that’s a great story, Ellie.” It’s just the way the line is delivered.
What Did Not Work:
There’s this really weird subplot involving the principal, Mr. Radish (Dan Woods). Radish is at the school to supervise detention. He brags about how it’s all a part of his new “no tolerance” policy for misbehavior. However, Archie “Snake” Simpson (Stefan Brogren), the media arts teacher, stops by the school and tells Mr. Radish that there’s more to life than just following rules. Sometimes, tolerance is a good thing.
At the end of the episode, a chastised Mr. Radish tells the detention kids that he’s just trying to do the right thing. He suddenly decides to show some tolerance and he lets everyone go home early. The thing is, though — Sean was stealing things from the school. And Jimmy did bully Toby into trying to change his grades and Toby did hack into the school’s computer. Hazel and Ellie were both in detention for minor reasons but the three guys actually did some serious things wrong. Their behavior was exactly the sort of thing that would get most students in a lot more trouble than just weekend detention. If anything, Mr. Radish was being nice by just having them give up a few weekends as opposed to calling the cops.
Finally, the end of the episode reveals that Ellie was actually working undercover for the local news station, for a story they were planning on doing about the thefts at the school. But why would a big city news station care about such a minor crime and whose bright idea was it to get the story by putting an emotionally vulnerable teenage girl in potential danger by sending her in with a tape recorder? And couldn’t they have at least given Ellie a less bulky tape recorder? It’s almost like they wanted her to get caught.
“Oh my God! Just Like Me!” Moments
Honestly, every single minute of every single episode of Degrassi is pretty much an “Oh my God! Just like me!” moment, as far as I’m concerned. That said, I always related the most to Ellie. We both have red hair. We both spent a good deal of high school dressed in black. We both went through a cutting phase and a rubber band on the wrist phase and I’ve always appreciated the sensitive way that Degrassi handled that subject matter. (Whatever flaws it may have had, Degrassi was way ahead of its time when it came to dealing with anxiety.)
I especially related to Ellie in this episode, both because I always ended up crushing on the sensitive rebels like Sean Cameron and I also got assigned detention a few times. Of course, I always skipped detention because I was really into the whole “No one’s going to tell me what to do” thing. Strangely, I never got in any trouble for not showing up to detention and I always wondered if everyone regularly skipped or if it was just me.
Lessons Learned
There’s nothing more fun and emotionally rewarding than weekend detention!
We’re not even halfway through 2018 yet and I’m already prepared to declare that today’s music video of the day is the best of the year! Now, you’ll notice that I didn’t say that it’s the best song of the year but really, the song’s not that important. What’s important is that, with this video, Drake and director Karena Evans gives us the Degrassi reunion that we’ve all been waiting for!
(Okay, maybe not everyone. Apparently, some people aren’t as obsessed with Degrassi as the rest of us are. But you know what? I love Degrassi. I’ve got almost the entire series on DVD and I’ve watched and rewatched every episode so many times that I can quote most of them from memory.)
Before he found superstardom as Drake, Aubrey Graham was best known (by people like me) for playing Jimmy Brooks. When Degrassi first started, Jimmy was something of a random jock. He got into fights. He played basketball. He dated Ashley Kerwin and dumped her after she took ecstasy and ended up making out with Sean. He dated Hazel until she graduated. He dated Ashley again until she betrayed him to get a recording contract. And, of course, he ended up in a wheelchair after a mean-spirited prank led to Rick Murray shooting him in the back. Jimmy eventually left Toronto for Amsterdam and possibly law school but, as we see in this video, he’s back and so are all of our old favorites.
Admittedly, before this video, there was a previous Degrassi reunion. Back in 2016, the 500th episode of Degrassi featured a class reunion and several old characters did return. Unfortunately, everyone’s favorites — like Paige, Spinner, Marco, and Emma — didn’t get much screen time. Instead, Mo — who really shouldn’t have even been at the reunion since it had only been a year since he graduated — got most of the screen time and seriously, who ever cared about Mo? Meanwhile, beloved graduates like Ellie, Craig, and Manny didn’t even show up. In short, the official Degrassi reunion was a huge disappointment!
Fortunately, this video does a better job of bringing back almost all of our favorites. I guess that’s the power of Drake. True, it’s hard not to be disappointed that Sean Cameron, Joy Hogart, Alex, J.T. Yorke, Johnny DiMarco, and Bruce the Moose didn’t show up. (If you ever had any doubt that Degrassi was a Canadian show, just consider the fact that a major supporting character was named Bruce The Moose.) But check out who did return!
First off, here’s Spinner (Shane Kippel)!
Seriously, it’s not a Degrassi reunion if Spinner isn’t there. Despite the fact that Degrassi was a four-year school, Spinner was enrolled for seven seasons. Okay, so Spinner wasn’t that good of a student but so what? He was the heart and soul of Degrassi! Not only was he the drummer for Toronto’s greatest band, Downtown Sasquatch, but he was also Jimmy’s best friend, except for that time when Jimmy was angry over Spinner’s part in the prank that led to Jimmy getting shot in the back. (Fortunately, they made up.) I’ve seen some people online wondering why Spinner spends so much of this video throwing up. My theory is that it’s an homage to the seventh season episode, Pass the Dutchie. That’s the episode where Spinner, while undergoing chemotherapy, throws up on his English teacher.
(That episode also features one of the greatest lines in Degrassi history, when a stoned Spinner realizes that he’s about to fail English for the third time and exclaims, “What kind of idiot fails his own language three times!?”)
Four of my favorites all showed up together. Getting out of the stylish white car: Paige (Lauren Collins), Ellie (Stacey Farber), Marco (Adamo Ruggiero), and Craig (Jake Epstein). I always related to Ellie, largely because we both had red hair and always wore black to school. I also always felt bad that Craig and Ellie could never quite seem to make things works romantically, though Ellie and Sean were actually a better couple. But I’m just kind of rambling now…
Hey, it’s Terri (Christina Schmidt) and Hazel (Andrea Lewis)! Terri was on the first three seasons of Degrassi, until she was put into a coma by her abusive boyfriend, Rick Murray. (This was the same Rick who would later shoot Jimmy in the back.) Hazel was Jimmy’s girlfriend, until she eventually realized that Jimmy was actually in love with Ellie. It’s probably not a coincidence that Drake is rapping about his ex at the same time that Hazel shows up.
Then the teachers show up! Ms. Kwan (Linlyn Lue) was the tyrannical English teacher who was driven to tears when Jimmy and Spinner egged her car. As for Archie “Snake” Simpson (Stefan Brogren), he’s been the one constant over the course of all the different versions of Degrassi. He started out as a student on Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High. In School’s Out, he was the first character to say “fuck” on Canadian television. Finally, Mr. Simpson taught the school’s media immersion class and eventually became principal of the school.
About halfway through the video, we learn that Mr. Simpson buys his drugs from Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith).
A longtime fan of the Degrassi franchise, Kevin Smith appeared as himself during season 4 and 5 and also in the second Degrassi movie, Degrassi Goes Hollywood. Smith came to Degrassi to shoot his latest movie, Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, Eh? Of course, he brought Mewes with him. While Kevin Smith did end up contributing to the break-up of Caitlin and Joey, he also helped to track down Craig, who was having a manic episode and living on the streets at the time. Later, Smith would return to Degrassi to encourage Paige to take a chance with Alex and to also help launch the acting career of Manny Santos (Cassie Steele).
Speaking of Manny, she returns for Drake’s reunion and, appropriately enough, she’s seen hanging out with Emma (Miriam McDonald). Interestingly, in Degrassi Takes Manhattan, Emma ended up marrying Spinner in a plot twist that caused thousands of Degrassi fans (like me) to roll their eyes in unison. (Seriously, Emma and Spinner barely spoke to each other for 9 seasons and then they suddenly got married.) In this video, Spinner and Emma don’t even seem to acknowledge each other. Maybe they got divorced.
Among the other former Degrassi cast members to make an appearance: Melissa McIntyre (a.k.a. the one and only Ashley Kerwin), Nina Dobrev (who played teen mom-turned-super model Mia), A.J. Saudin (a.k.a. Simpson’s autistic godson, Connor), Sarah Barrable-Tishauer (a.k.a., class President Liberty Van Zandt), Jake Goldsbie (a.k.a. adorable nerd Toby Isaacs), Marc Donato and Dalmar Abuzeid (a.k.a. dorky friends Derek and Danny), and Paula Brancati (who played Jane, the girl who Spinner probably should have married.)
And then there’s Rick Murray (Ephraim Ellis). Despite the fact that Rick was reported to have died shortly after shooting Jimmy, he still showed up for the reunion. Of course, not everyone was happy to see him:
So, for those of you keeping track: Jimmy regained his ability walk, Emma and Spinner are divorced, Rick Murray apparently didn’t die after all, and J.T. Yorke is still dead. Poor J.T.
(Then again, if Rick’s still alive then you have to wonder how his ghost was able to possess Holy J in The Curse of Degrassi. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Anyway…)
I know Halloween already happened, but I did promise to review the two Twitches movies when I reviewed Return To Halloweentown. So here they come. And it’s kind of like answering the doorbell and finding that burning bag of dog poop.
Also, just for your information, there’s no way I am going to be able to keep Tia and Tamera straight. I knew twins in real life growing up and couldn’t tell which was which so I’m not even going to try. Not that I’m gonna talk much about them anyways.
The movie starts off with two twin witches (Tia Mowry-Hardrict and Tamera Mowry-Housley) being taken away by the two most entertaining people in this movie as darkness envelopes Coventry.
This is Illeana (Jennifer Robertson).
This is Karsh (Pat Kelly).
They are the bright points of this movie. It begins with them rescuing the twin witches and taking them to the human world to hide them from the darkness. Illeana makes it to a hospital, and Karsh makes it away safely as well, but first he encounters something horrifying.
That’s right. It’s Jake Goldsbie from Degrassi: TNG out trick-or-treating. Apparently, whether it’s Lifetime, Hallmark, or Disney, you’ll likely see actors from Degrassi: TNG pop up. Actually, I just saw Aislinn Paul on Heroes Reborn so I guess they’re everywhere!
Anyways, getting back to the lousy movie. 21 years later, on Halloween, we find that one of the Twitches has grown up in privilege while the other hasn’t. Standard stuff. We also find out that all this time Illeana and Karsh have been hanging around waiting for them both to reach 21.
These two really are good in this movie. They bicker like an old couple. They have far more chemistry than most of the couples in those Hallmark movies I watch. I could have watched a prequel to this that just has them following around the Twitches while cracking jokes. I love when Illena walks through a wall, then proceeds to complain about the fact that she had to pass through 70’s wallpaper. Honestly, if I knew of a supercut of this movie that only had their scenes then I would embed it below. Unfortunately, while they are being funny, this is going on.
I can’t tell you how much it irritated me when they would say “Go, Twitches. Go, Twitches”. I really just wanted Illeana and Karsh.
The Twitches just return home and vanquish the darkness. Blah, blah, blah. Seriously, I want my Illeana and Karsh movie! I know that kind of movie can be done. Heart And Souls did it back in 1993. That movie had actors like Charles Grodin and Alfre Woodard following around Robert Downey, Jr. as ghosts and they were funny. That’s essentially what Illeana and Karsh did for all those 21 years.
And according to IMDb reviewers, this is worse than I could have thought because it’s based on a series of books that of course it doesn’t follow well. Course I did just sit through Masters Of The Universe (1987) so how much worse could it be if it wasn’t true to the source material? Well, I don’t know, but I do know what happens when you swap out one half of the Illeana/Karsh duo with a different actress. That’s Twitches Too, where joy and happiness goes to die.
Through the Shattered Lens 