Jaime Wallace | Through the Shattered Lens

Oh Hell yeah!

This past week has been Shark Week on SyFy! On Sunday, SyFy is going to premiere the latest Sharknado movie. As always, in the days before the latest chapter in the Sharknado saga, SyFy has been showing other shark-related films. Of course, my friends and I have been watching and live-tweeting all of these films. What makes the experience especially fun is that, often times, the filmmakers themselves will join in and tweet along with us. It’s a wonderful reminder that watching an original movie on SyFy should always be a community experience.

Take Toxic Shark for instance…

Toxic Shark premiered on Thursday night and I had a blast watching it. Need proof? Check out my tweets. But what made Toxic Shark especially fun was that I was watching it with my friends, a group of movie lovers who call themselves the Snarkalecs. We’ve been watching movies on SyFy since …. well, since forever. I joined them in 2011 but they were watching movies together before I even showed up. Even better, members of the cast and crew, including producer Neil Elman and editor Don Money, joined in the live tweet. Toxic Shark is an audience participation film. This is a movie for people who want to have a good time with their snarkiest and funniest friends. If you’re not talking back to the screen while watching Toxic Shark, you’re doing it wrong.

Toxic Shark is a film that, in many ways, centers around friendship. Two groups of friends are looking forward to relaxing at a singles retreat in Puerto Rico. Unfortunately, things don’t go quite as smoothly as you might hope. For one thing, it turns out that the retreat is being run by Reese (Eric Etebari, giving a hilarious performance), who is one of those people who you dread meeting at the gym. Along with that, local fisherman are disappearing. One of the singles, Ryan (Owen Saxon), worries over whether his shirt is too tight or not tight enough. (That might not sound like a big deal but he was quite concerned about it.) Body parts are washing up on the beach. Eden (Kabby Borders) is shocked to discover that her ex-boyfriend, Sam (Bryce Durfee), just happens to be at the retreat. Something attacks Gabby (Cirstina Jayo) when she goes out into the ocean. A yoga class get eaten. It may not be as bad as Fyre Festival but still…

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to mention the biggest problem at the retreat. There is this giant shark that keeps jumping out the ocean and eating people. Seriously, that’ll ruin any vacation. But it’s not just that the shark is really big and fast. This shark has also become toxic! It can not only bite you in half but it can spew toxic waste on you as well…

But that’s not all! The bite of this shark also turns its victims into zombies! Yes, you read that correctly. Assuming you don’t accidentally get killed by Reese, there’s always the chance that the shark will eat you. And, if the shark doesn’t get you, the zombies will…

I mean, seriously, how can you not love that? Toxic Shark is a blast of pure chaotic fun, featuring beautiful beach scenery, hot people in swimsuits, and a kickass musical score. Everyone appears to be having a ball, running from sharks and turning into zombies. Kabby Borders and Bryce Durfee make for a likable couple (even when they’re arguing) and the rest of the cast strikes the perfect balance between horror and comedy. I especially liked the performance of Owen Saxon as the somewhat dim but well-meaning Ryan. There was something touching about how concerned he was about whether or not his shirt was too tight.

Toxic Shark was a lot of fun. If you get a chance, be sure to catch it!

Just don’t let the shark catch you…

On Monday night, immediately following 3-Headed Shark Attack, SyFy premiered one more shark movie as a part of Shark Week. That movie was entitled Zombie Shark and it was everything that you could possibly hope for.

Zombie Shark takes place on one of those depressing island resorts that always seem to pop up in films like this. The sky is permanently overcast. The sand is kind of gray. There aren’t many people on the beach and the ones who are there are busy drinking beer and daring each other to swim in shark-infested waters. This depressing beach is undoubtedly the result of the film’s low-budget. But, whether intentional or not, the effect is to create a pervasive atmosphere of existential doom. This film takes place in a dark world where the beach was an unhappy place even before the sharks and zombies showed up.

Four friends head out to that beach for what they hope will be a fun weekend. Amber (Cassie Steele) and Sophie (Sloane Coe) are sisters. Bridgitte (Becky Andrews) is their bikini-clad friend who, later in the film, gets to say, “I’m not going to die for those people!” (For what it’s worth, I was in 100% agreement with Bridgitte. If someone is stupid enough to get in the water during a shark attack, he deserves whatever happens to him.) And then there’s Jenner (Ross Britz), who is Amber’s boyfriend. When the four of them come across a dead shark on the beach, Jenner makes the mistake of getting too close. Suddenly, the shark comes back to life and eats Jenner! Unfortunately, Jenner had the keys to the boat in his pocket so now, the three survivors are stranded on the island.

It turns out, of course, that it’s all the fault of science. Dr. Palmer (Laura Cayouette) created a zombiefication virus and infected one shark. Now that zombie shark is infecting other sharks! And those sharks are attacking people! The people who aren’t digested are transformed into zombies!

Luckily, military badass Maxwell Cage (Jason London) is sent to the island. Working with the rife-toting Amber and Sophie, Maxwell tries to find a way to curb the zombie outbreak. Meanwhile, resort owner Lester (Roger J. Timber) tries to rally the few remaining uninfected humans to fight the zombies.

Soon, the water is full of sharks, the beach is full of zombies, and blood is everywhere.

I totally loved Zombie Shark. To a certain extent, it reminded me of the classic Italian zombie film, The Erotic Nights of the Living Dead. Like that film, Zombie Shark started out as your typical resort movie, complete with elements of broad comedy and hints of relationship drama. And then suddenly, out of almost nowhere, it turned into a portrait of a grim and bloody zombie apocalypse.

The cast did a surprisingly good job, bringing as much credibility as they could to a film about a bunch of people being menaced by zombie sharks. Jason London and Laura Cayouette (remember her as Leonardo DiCaprio’s odd sister in Django Unchained?) are both memorable as representatives of the establishment. Cassie Steele and Sloane Coe were totally believable as sisters and brought so much commitment to their roles that the film’s ending was unexpectedly poignant.

(Cassie Steele, of course, might be best known for playing Manny Santos during the best seasons of Degrassi.)

With the exception of Sharknado 3 (which will be premiering tonight), Zombie Shark was the final original shark film to premiere as a part of SyFy shark week.

It was also one of the best.