Brad reviews NEXT DOOR (1994), a “neighbor from Hell” film starring James Woods and Randy Quaid!


This sitcom looking picture is not a good indicator of the dark places this movie will go!

NEXT DOOR (1994) is a dark suburban satire that introduces us to college professor Matt Coler (James Woods), his lovely wife Karen (Kate Capshaw), and their son Bucky, who have recently moved out to the suburbs. As the movie begins, Matt, Karen and even Bucky seem to be slightly obsessing over their next-door neighbors, Lenny and Marci Benedetti (Randy Quaid and Lucinda Jenney). For one, Lenny and Marci enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse on their backyard lawn furniture within view of each of the Coler family members. That’s quite awkward, but more irritatingly, Lenny insists on constantly watering his front yard near Matt’s property, which is having an extremely damaging effect on Matt and Karen’s beloved azaleas. Invited over to the Benedetti’s house for a cookout, Matt and Karen hope to get to know their neighbors a little better, as well as make a polite request of Lenny to not water the area near the boundary of their yards quite so much. We soon find out that Lenny, who works at the local meat packing plant, is loud, obnoxious, smarter than he looks, and seems to have a really big chip on his shoulder towards Matt, who he doesn’t see as being much of a man. He even tells Karen that her husband is a child, and that’s why he went into teaching rather than getting “a real job.” This upsets Karen so she tells Matt it’s time to leave, but before going, they ask Lenny not to water the part of his yard near their flowers so much. That night, Lenny moves the sprinkler even closer to Matt’s yard, which puts the final death knell in the azaleas. Very annoyed, but not wanting to go too far, Matt gets even by spraying Lenny’s outdoor patio furniture with a lot of water as a prank. Lenny doesn’t handle Matt’s prank very well, and this is where things begin getting out of hand, igniting a full-blown feud between the two men. Soon the annoyances of wet furniture and dead flowers give way to outright horror involving poisoned family pets, police investigations, attempted sexual assault, and even attempted murder!

NEXT DOOR, which is a made for Showtime original, starts out as an amusing and entertaining film involving innocent pranks between James Woods’ meek teacher and Randy Quaid’s boorish butcher. As the intensity of the feud picks up between the men, and the retaliations become more and more sinister, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor as it goes to places that aren’t funny at all. The story seems to be trying to make a statement about the class divide, the survival of the fittest, and the danger that lurks behind the picket fences and in the backyards of the innocent looking neighborhoods around us. It does that job well, as I certainly sensed the real danger that the more “civilized” man found himself in when he came up against a man who didn’t really concern himself with societal norms. I have to give a lot of credit to Randy Quaid’s performance as Lenny for making me feel that way. He is simply a force of nature, and his portrayal of the beer guzzling, opinionated, blue collar bully is excellent in its unhingement! Sadly, I’ve known quite a few people who acted way too much like Lenny for my comfort. James Woods is also excellent as the somewhat timid, intelligent college professor who keeps thinking he can talk his way out of this predicament. We know how intense James Woods can be in his best roles, but he’s quite different here as the man who tries to remain reasonable until the very end of the film when he’s finally forced to take a stand for his family’s safety. He doesn’t have the showy role here, but I can definitely identify with his character, as that would be me in this situation. Kate Capshaw and Lucinda Jenney are both appealing as the suffering wives, providing some good support and wit to the proceedings, but this show belongs to the men.

NEXT DOOR is a true horror film as far as I’m concerned, because if I found myself in this kind of situation with my own neighbor, I would consider it a nightmare. There have been a couple of times in my own life where I have found myself in situations with a neighbor that made me uncomfortable. One of those times involved our next-door neighbor driving across the boundary between their yard and ours and then taking our driveway out to the main road instead of using their own, less maintained driveway. This really bothered my wife as they had never asked if they could do it, and it had practically made a “path” that looked like a road at the boundary. Since it bothered my wife, we ended up having a polite conversation with our neighbors, they understood our concerns, and we worked out a plan that worked for all of us. A different time, however, one of our neighbors across the road left their pitbull out and it attacked our small dog in our own yard. It almost killed our dog, requiring her to have emergency surgery from our veterinarian to save her leg, and it also led to high vet bills. Our neighbors refused to discuss the situation with us, and being from West Virginia, my wife wanted us to take the situation to more extreme levels, including getting local law enforcement involved. In a situation like this, you have to truly consider how far you want to take a situation and then be prepared for the whatever events could follow. There’s a lot of unknown, and it’s pretty scary to be honest with you.

Ultimately, I would have to admit that I didn’t really enjoy NEXT DOOR very much, but I did find it fascinating. I appreciated the great performances of Woods and Quaid, but the movie made me very uncomfortable. If my discomfort was director Tony Bill’s (MY BODYGUARD, FIVE CORNERS, FLYBOYS) goal, it certainly worked. I just think that the farcical nature of the black humor at the beginning didn’t quite mesh with the dark and disturbing elements at the end. Or maybe it just took me places I wasn’t really prepared to go. Either way, it’s still an interesting relic of the 90’s made-for-premium-cable-TV movie. You never knew where those movies were headed! If you’re interested, as of this writing, it’s available for streaming on Tubi.

Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 3.23 “Fast Times At Manny High” and 3.24 “Harlem Honey”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we explore just how stupid one show can get.

Episode 3.23 “Fast Times At Manny High”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on February 12th, 2000)

One of the strangest things about City Guys has always been the students worshipful attitude towards Ms. Noble.  Ms. Noble is the school’s principal.  She’s the authority figure.  She’s the disciplinarian.  In what world do teenagers actually like authority figures?  I mean, I know that authoritarianism is all the rage today and that there’s a lot of high school and college students out there who are desperate to have someone telling them what to do.  But City Guys is a show from the 90s.  Weren’t the 90s supposed to be about rebellion?  I was thinking about this as I watched Fast Times At Manny High because I noticed that Chris and Jamal have a picture of Ms. Noble hanging on the wall of the radio station.  Seriously, it’s creepy how obsessed the students are with their principal.  Of course, it’s possible that City Guys just wasn’t very realistic in general.  I mean, just consider the fact that Chris and Jamal had a popular radio program, despite having next to no on-air charisma or chemistry.

Anyway, in this episode, Ms. Noble decided that all of the students should fast for one night.  If the students go for an entire night without eating, a corporation will donate $500 to a hunger charity.  All of the students agree because, of course, none of them have the guts to tell Ms. Noble to stop trying to run their lives.  However, it turns out that the fast is not as easy as anyone thought it would be.  I mean, they’re going 9 to 10 hours without eating!  OH MY GOD, SUCH COMMITMENT!

For some reason, the fast is held on the roof of Manny High.  (I really worry about that roof, to be honest.  I once snuck out onto the roof of my high school and I got yelled at because apparently, the roof was in really bad shape and, despite the fact that I barely weighed 100 pounds, there was a risk that it could collapse underneath me.  Meanwhile, at Manny High, they’re using the roof for carnivals, fashion shows, protests, radio contests, and fasts!)

Anyway, the kids screw up the fast.  (It’s almost as if they’re irresponsible teenagers!)  Jamal and Chris sneak off to go on a date with two of their listeners and then, while sneaking back into the school, they end up in Noble’s classroom..  Al and Dawn sneak off to celebrate their anniversary, in Noble’s classroom..  (Yeah, that relationship is still going on.)  L-Train tries to sneak food into the fast and ends up eating in Noble’s classroom..  Cassidy sneaks off the roof to try to sneak a rewritten term paper into Ms. Noble’s classroom.  Of course, they’re all too stupid to pull it off and the corporation announces that they will not be donating $500 to the homeless.  Ms. Noble is very disappointed in all of them, even though L-Train explains that he had to break the fast because he was getting so hungry that he was thinking of eating Al.

(Maybe Ms, Noble could just donate $500 to the charity herself.  I mean, she is the one with a job.)

The kids feel guilty and they all agree that they have to do something to help.  L-Train says that he can’t do anything until he gets some food.  L-Train …. IT’S ONLY BEEN 6 HOURS!  I used to go weeks without eating until I got yelled at by my doctor,

Anyway, the rule-breakers agree to cook breakfast for the kids who did fast and apparently, this inspires the corporation to donate $500 to charity so I guess everything worked out.

Stupid episode.  Let’s move on.

Episode 3.24 “Harlem Honey”

(Dir by Frank Bonner, originally aired on March 11th, 2000)

“This is New York Diner, no place is finer!” Jamal says as he answers the phone at his Dad’s restaurant.  Already, we know that this episode is going to suck.

Anyway, Jamal’s father (Ivory Ocean) is upset because his latest girlfriend has dumped him.  In order to cheer him up, Jamal and Chris go online and, using the name Harlem Honey, start sending romantic emails to Jamal’s father.  However, when Jamal’s father says that he wants to meet his new girlfriend, Jamal and Chris decide to recruit Ms. Noble to pretend to be Harlem Honey and….

…..

…..

Sorry, I was silent screaming.  Anyway….

Remember how I said Fast Times At Manny High was a dumb episode?  Well, it’s brilliant compared to Harlem Honey.  What teenager — no matter how lonely their father may be — is going to set a parent up with their high school principal!?  Anyway, Noble refuses but fortunately, L-Train’s aunt is single but then Ms. Noble changes her mind and she and Jamal’s father pretend to be in love and…

….

….

Yes, I was silently screaming again.

Can we just move on from this episode and pretend that I never saw it?  That sounds good to me!

Next week, the third season of City Guys ends!

Retro Television Review: City Guys 1.5 “The Dance” and 1.6 “The Communication Gap”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

C. I. T. Y.  These guys, the neat guys, are smart and street-wise….

Episode 1.5 “The Dance”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, Aired on October 4th, 1997)

L-Train is back!  

(For the record, Wikipedia swears that the character was named L-Train.  IMDb says it was El-Train.  I’ll probably switch back and forth as I review this show.)

Last seen threatening to kill Jamal and Chris at the end of the first episode, EL-Train returns in The Dance.  If he was the school bully in the first episode, this episode presents us with the L-Train who would be present for the rest of the series.  This EL-Train is a dim-witted but well-intentioned and dedicated to trying to turn his life around.  Steven Daniel’s portrayal of L-Train was one of the (few) highlights of City Guys and El-Train was really the only character on the show who had any depth.  The best of the show’s occasional “serious” episodes were the ones where he was tempted to return to his old lifestyle of being the school bully.

In this episode, El-Train asks Cassidy to the school dance and she accepts.  “Awwww!” the audience says.  However, El-Train wanting to date Cassidy is only one of my subplots revolving around Manny High’s fall dance.

Al wants to DJ.  Dawn wants the dance to be a success.  Ms. Noble wants to get through the night without there being any drama like at the last school dance.  (What happened at the last dance is never really described, which is odd.  It makes the viewer wonder if maybe someone fell off the roof of the school or something.  Did I mention that all of the school’s dances are held on the roof?)  And Chris wants to go to the dance with Kaisha who just happens to be Jamal’s sister!

(Cue the audience: “Woooo!”)

But wait a minute, this seems familiar.  Remember, on Saved By The Bell, when it was suddenly revealed that Slater had a sister who no one had ever previously talked about?  Zach took her out on a date and Slater got upset about it, for much the same reason that Jamal gets upset at Chris.  And didn‘t Saved By The Bell have an episode where Mr. Belding was worried about holding a school dance after something happened at the previous one?  And didn’t Screech somehow always end up as the DJ?

My point is that there’s really nothing original to be found in this episode but it’s still better than the four episodes that came before it.  Kaisha wisely rejects both Chris and Jamal, telling them that they’re both controlling jerks.  (“Yay!” says the audience.)  Chris and Jamal realize how much they have in common and share a very uncomfortable laugh.  Ms. Noble demands that Chris and Jamal dance with her.  (“Woooo!’ the audience says.)  For the first time, during this episode, the cast really seems to click.  As Jamal and Chris, Wesley Jonathan and Scott Whyte finally seem to have adapted to each other’s rhythms.  Jamal is called out for being overprotective.  Chris gets called out for lacking ambition.  Neither one is in the right.  This is probably about as nuanced as one could ever hope for an episode of City Guys to get.

Episode 1.6 “The Communication Gap”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on October 11, 1997)

After starting a food fight at the cafeteria, Chris and Jamal are in trouble once again!  Ms. Noble calls their fathers.  Jamal’s father (well-played by Ivory Ocean) shows up and proves himself to be a firm but loving disciplinarian.  Chris’s father sends his personal assistant.

Somehow, this leads to Chris living with Jamal and his father while Chris’s father is away on business.  To pay for his room and board, Chris ends up working at the diner that’s owned by Jamal’s father.  Unfortunately, because they’re so eager to see the new Jim Carrey film, Chris and Jamal leave work early and get in trouble.  Seeing how Jamal and his father handle things, Chris is inspired to fix his relationship with his own father.  (“Awwwww!” say the audience.)

This episode was …. actually, it was okay.  Ivory Ocean gave a really good performance was Jamal’s father and the show actually took some time to consider why Chris has all of the issues with trust that he has.  It was a little weird to see everyone getting so excited over a Jim Carrey movie but then I reminded myself the episode was made before Jim married Jenny McCarthy and went all anti-vaxx.

So, that’s two good episodes of City Guys in a row!  Could the show be turning a corner?  We shall see next week!