First off, allow me to again apologize for being late with my weekly trailer post. I had some asthma issues that basically left me fairly useless on both Friday and Saturday. Still, better late than never. In this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers, we acknowledge some films that were NOT nominated for Golden Globes.
1) The Flesh Eaters (1964)
I just recently got this one on DVD but I haven’t watched it yet. Of course, I love any trailer that starts out with a countdown.
2) Beach Girls and the Monster (1965)
The star of the film (which apparently co-stars the Watusi Dancing Girls), John Hall, was briefly a star back in the 1930s. This was his attempt at a comeback film and he ended up committing suicide after it was released.
3) Blast-Off Girls (1967)
This film was directed by the infamous Herschell Gordon Lewis. I want to be a blast-off girl!
4) Monsters Crash The Pajama Party (1969)
I don’t own this one on DVD, mostly because I’m kinda scared that if I watch it, a monster will pop out of the TV screen and try to drag me off to somewhere.
Watching last night’s Broadway-themed episode of South Park got me to thinking about how much I love going to musicals, which naturally also got me to think about one of my favorite musicals: Brigadoon. Brigadoon is about a ghostly Scottish village that only appears for one day every hundred years. It was made into a film starring Cyd Charisse who is one of my favorite dancers of all time and who was also from Texas, just like me. I first saw Brigadoon when I was 10 years old and I immediately fell in love with the film and I’ve devoted a lot of time lobbying for various high schools, college, and community theaters to put on a production of Brigadoon just so I can be in it. Brigadoon is a pretty important film to me and, oddly enough, I have since discovered that it served as the basis for one of the most iconic drive-in films of all time, Herschell Gordon Lewis’ 1964 “gore film” 2,000 Maniacs.
In Two Thousand Maniacs, 6 people from up north (that’s a polite way of saying that they’re a bunch of obnoxious Yankees) end up getting stranded in the small Southern town of Pleasant Valley. The overly friendly and accommodating townspeople explain that this is the Centennial Celebration of the day that the original Pleasant Valley was destroyed by the Union Army during the Civil War. The Yankees are invited to take part in the celebrations and since they’re a bunch of condescending toadsuckers from the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon Line, they agree. Hilarity ensues as the citizens of Pleasant Valley proceed to celebrate with traditions like sack races, bluegrass music, and finding different ways to dismember Yankee visitors who aren’t smart enough to leave town. Since this is a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie, we not only get to see the dismemberments in full color detail but we also don’t actually care enough about the people being killed to be too upset at the notion.
I know that a lot of my fellow grindhouse film fans absolutely love Herschell Gordon Lewis and his own unique brand of exploitation cinema. Though I’ve enjoyed some of his films (Scum of the Earth and Something Weird come to mind) , I find Mr. Lewis to be more interesting as a character than as a director and I fear I might be too jaded to ever truly understand how “shocking” his gore-themed films apparently were. (Of course, I should also admit to the fact that Lewis was a very prolific director and I’ve only seen a handful of his many films.) That said, I think 2,000 Maniacs is probably Lewis’s best film and certainly the closest he ever came to making a film that actually felt like a real movie (as opposed to a gruesome home movie). The story has a nice sort of rural legend feel to it, the murderous town’s people are well-cast, and a few of the film’s death scenes are genuinely disturbing. (The barrel full of nails still makes me shudder and go “agck!”) All in all, this is a very effective, fast-paced little horror movie and an obvious precursor for all future menacing redneck films. Without 2,000 Maniacs, there would be no Straw Dogs but we won’t hold that against it. (Well, maybe just a little…)
Ultimately, 2,000 Maniacs is a film for everyone. Northerners will enjoy seeing the worst fears and prejudices of the South confirmed. Meanwhile, Southerners (like me) will get the pleasure of seeing a bunch of smug Yankees get chopped up into little pieces. It’s a win-win.
I just had to start out with this because it represents everything that I love about these old school exploitation trailers. It’s just so shameless and cheerful about it all. This film is from Herschell Gordon Lewis and it features ESP, a really kinda scary witch, and a random LSD trip. The title of this film also inspired the name of one of my favorite companies, Something Weird Video. (I make it a point to buy something from Something Weird every chance I get. My most recent Something Weird video is a film from the 60s called Sinderella and the Golden Bra. Haven’t gotten a chance to watch it yet but with a title like that, how could it be bad?)
This is actually a really, really bad movie and I think the trailer goes on for a bit too long but it does have a few vaguely effective moments — i.e., when Dennis Christopher stares at the camera with half of his face painted. Plus, you can catch a young Mickey Rourke acting a lot like Michael Madsen.
3) Monster Shark (1984)
Now you may think that since this Italian film was directed by Lamberto Bava (credited here as John Old, Jr. because his father, Mario, was occasionally credited as John Old, Sr.) and has the word “shark” in the title that it’s yet another rip-off of Jaws. Well, joke’s on you because, as they state repeatedly in the trailer, “It’s not a shark!” Even if you didn’t know this was an Italian film before watching the trailer, it wouldn’t be hard to guess. First off, there’s the dubbing. Then there’s the scene of the film’s main character wandering around aimlessly. (Most Italian horror trailers feature at least one scene of someone just walking around.) And finally, there’s the fact that this is yet another trailer that uses a sped-up version of Goblin’s Beyond The Darkness soundtrack for its background music. While I haven’t seen this film yet, I plan to just to find out who Bob is.
Originally, I was planning on including the trailer for a Ted V. Mikels’ film called The Worm Eaters right here but I reconsidered because, quite frankly, The Worm Eaters is one of the most disgusting, stomach-churning things I’ve ever seen. I’m going to wait until I find five other equally disgusting trailers to feature it with and then I’m going to put them all up under the heading: 6 Trailers To Inspire Vomit. Until then, enjoy a far more pleasant trailer — Van Nuys Blvd. This trailer rhymes! I’m tempted to say that I could have written it but then again, I only write free verse poetry. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Van Nuys Blvd.
However, there was a darker side to Van Nuys Blvd. and here it is: Vice Squad, starring Wings Hauser. Eventually, I’ll review this film but until I do, check out our new friend Trash Film Guru’s review.
6) Crosstalk (1982)
We’ll conclude with the only thing scarier than Wings Hauser in Vice Squad — a computer that has not only witnessed a murder but enjoyed it!
As I type this, I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo ticked off. I just finished watching Thursday’s episode of American Idol and I now know that Clint Jun Gamboa did not make the final 13. Before trying out for this season of American Idol, Gamboa worked on the soundtrack for the infamous Tommy Wiseau film The Room. That’s right, the man who wrote “Crazy” and “Baby You And Me,” will not be competing for a chance to be the next American Idol. That’s just wrong. What’s even worse is that they sent Gamboa on his way without ever once acknowledging The Room. They could have at least given him a plastic spoon.
Because it’s for Clint, let’s start out with a trailer for a classic, 1975’s A Boy and His Dog. Clint, if you’re feeling down — well, I don’t know you well enough to know if this movie will help or not. It’s kinda one of those you either get or you don’t.
Yes, I know. The title makes it sound like a prequel to the Room. “Oh hai, mom.” Actually, it’s just a very early film from director Brian DePalma. The movie also stars a very young and very unknown Robert De Niro.
This is one of those films that I’ve got on DVD but I need to rewatch it so I can review it. I do remember that the DVD transfer was so bad that it actually started out with one of those “this is made from the best copy we could find — it’s not our fault!” messages.
Sadly enough, the Perfectly Sane, Kinda Boring Doctor of Blood Island was located just a block away but everyone was too busy with the mad doctor to notice.
You know how there are certain scenes in certain movies that you just can’t get out of your mind? Below is one of my favorites, the infamous “you’re damaged goods and this is a fire sale!” monologue from Herschell Gordon Lewis’s 1963 expose of the Hollywood smut trade, Scum of the Earth.
Through the Shattered Lens 