The greatest President of all time, Rutherford B. Hayes
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.
Happy Rutherford B. Hayes Day!
In honor of my favorite holiday, I wanted to share 4 shots from 4 films about Rutherford B. Hayes.
However, my plan ran into a little problem. Despite the fact that he’s the best President that this country ever had, there aren’t any movies about Rutherford B. Hayes. He is literally the most underappreciated leader this country has ever had. (In 2011, the President joked about Hayes not being on Mount Rushmore. For that reason, I voted for Gary Johnson in 2012. Don’t you mess with Rutherford B. Hayes)
So, here are four shots from four films that deal with other people who exist in the shadow of Rutherford B. Hayes.
So, last night, after months of nonstop promotion, Lifetime finally aired The Unauthorized Full House Story and…
Meh.
I have a confession to make. I am 99.9% sure that I have never seen a complete episode of Full House. I’ve seen bits and pieces, of course. But I don’t think I have ever watched a single episode from beginning to end. And yet, despite this, I still feel like I know everything about the show. I know that John Stamos was obsessed with his hair. I know that the Olsen Twins played Michelle. I know about “Oh mylanta!” or “Cut it out” and “you got it, dude,” and all the rest. I know that Dave Coulier may have inspired Alanis Morissette.
And, though I’ve never seen an entire episode of Full House, I have seen The Aristocrats, a documentary that features Bob Saget telling an incredibly long dirty joke. And, of course, I’ve also seen Half Baked, which featured Saget asking if Dave Chapelle had ever “sucked dick for coke.”
So, naturally, I figured that The Unauthorized Full House Story would feature a lot of cocaine being snorted backstage while an actress meant to Alanis went down on Coulier in a theater. I mean, it had to be unauthorized for a reason, right!?
But no — much like last year’s Unauthorized Saved By The Bell, the Full House movie was notable largely for how little drama it featured. Apparently, there were no scandals. There was little to no conflict behind the scenes. John Stamos was apparently a little stand-offish at first. Bob Saget occasionally forgot there were children around and made an off-color comment. Dave Coulier apparently was just happy to be there.
In other words, it was all pretty boring. But, I still had fun live tweeting the film and apparently, a lot of people enjoyed reading my tweets. So, in honor of what the Full House movie was truly all about, here’s a collection of my best tweets from last night.
Hell yeah! But, before they get to Unauthorized Degrassi, Lifetime will be showing Unauthorized 90210 and Unauthorized Melrose Place in October! Now, those shows will be worthy of being unauthorized!
So, as I was thinking about Hyde Park On Hudson, I started to ask myself: what would have made that movie better? Obviously, the script could have been improved. Bill Murray could have had some better lines. Laura Linney could have been a bit less bland. The direction could have been a bit more dynamic…
And of course, the film could have used a few more werewolves. Maybe not a huge amount of werewolves because, after all, you do want to keep things plausible. But, at the same time, a werewolf or two would have livened things up.
And then I thought about Sunrise at Campobello and I realized that film was also missing something. Once again, the film could have used some werewolves.
“My God,” I thought, “aren’t there any filmmakers out there willing to combine Franklin Roosevelt with werewolves!?”
And then, I realized that there was!
The 2012 film FDR: American Badass! features Barry Bostwick in the role of Franklin D. Roosevelt. At the start of the film, Roosevelt is the dynamic and athletic governor of New York. However, while out jogging one day, Frank is attacked by a werewolf and ends up contracting polio as a result. Recovering in the hospital, Roosevelt decides to run for President and kill werewolves.
Over the course of the film, he does just that. And, when it turns out that the leaders of the Axis Powers are all werewolves as well, FDR single-handedly wins World War II. Fortunately, with the help of Albert Einstein, FDR gets his wheelchair equipped with all the latest weaponry.
And did I mention that, as President, FDR smokes weed with Abraham Lincoln (Kevin Sorbo)? Because he so totally does…
So, at this point, you’re probably already getting the feeling that FDR: American Badass! is kind of a weird film. And it is. But what makes the film better than you might think is the fact that it totally commits itself to making no sense. FDR: American Badass! is full of scenes that are alternatively hilarious, disgusting, and offensive but it works because, unlike something like A Million Ways To Die In The West, FDR: American Badass! is at least creative in its stupidity. Say what you will about the idea of FDR killing werewolves, the fact of the matter is that there’s only one film where you can actually see that happen.
So, should you see FDR: American Badass?
Go back and read the film’s title.
Did it make you roll your eyes and say, “Oh my God, that is so stupid?” If so, you’ll probably have a similar reaction to the film itself.
On the other hand, did the title make you smile? If so, you’ll probably find something to enjoy in this movie.
At the very least, FDR: American Badass! is better than Hyde Park on Hudson.
Through the Shattered Lens 