Horror Film Review: Meandre (dir by Mathieu Turi)

Posted on October 12, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2020 French film, Meandre, opens with a woman named Lisa (Gaia Weiss) lying in the middle of the road, as if specifically begging someone to drive up and run her over.

When a man named Adam (Peter Franzen) approaches in his car, Lisa makes a last minute decision to get out of the car’s way. Adam stops the car and offers Lisa a lift to wherever she wants to go. Lisa accepts his offer and, as they drive through the night, Lisa reveals that today would have been the ninth birthday of her daughter, Nina. Adam, who has a cross tattooed on his wrist, appears to be sympathetic. However, then a report comes over the radio about a serial killer who is murdering hitchhikers and who has a cross tattooed on his wrist. Realizing that Lisa now knows that he’s a murderer, Adam slams down on the brakes and throws Lisa against the dashboard, knocking her out.

When Lisa wakes up …. well, Adam is nowhere to be seen. In fact, neither is the car. Now wearing a white, skin-tight uniform, Lisa is in a small room. She has a device on her wrist. She has no idea where she is or how she got there. She appears to be a prisoner but she doesn’t know why or who is holding her in captivity. Suddenly, a door slides open, revealing a narrow tunnel.

Lisa spends the majority of the movie crawling from one location to another. It’s never made quite clear just where exactly she is but it’s a place that’s full of tunnels, bobby traps, and the occasional rotting corpse. Whenever the device on her wrist starts to beep, the viewer knows that something bad is about to happen to Lisa and she’s going to have to either avoid fire or sharp blades or being crushed as the walls of the tunnel suddenly come together. Eventually, she also has to deal with a bizarre creature that chases her through the tunnels. Through it all, she thinks that she can hear the voice of her daughter….

For me, Meandre got off to a good start by featuring a main character named Lisa. Seriously, with a movie like this, it’s very important to be able to relate to the main character and, as soon as I found out that she shared my first name, I was totally on Lisa’s side. That said, Gaia Weiss gives such a strong performance that even people who are not named Lisa will be rooting for the character. The viewer sincerely wants Lisa to not only survive the traps but also discover why and where she is being held prisoner. Meanwhile, Peter Franzen gives an appropriately intimidating performance as Adam (who does make a return appearance to the film after the incident in the car), alternating between being friendly and murderous.

I was not a huge fan of the film’s ending, which felt a bit too obscure and new agey for its own good. But, ending aside, Meandre is an effective and claustrophobic horror film, featuring an excellent lead performance from Gaia Weiss.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: The Bunker Game (dir by Robert Zazzara)

Posted on October 3, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Bunker Game, which made its debut on Shudder earlier this year, opens with what appears to be a bit of alternate history worldmaking. The viewer watches a black-and-white documentary that presents a world in which the Nazis conquered Europe during World War II but, ten years after Germany’s victory, the United States dropped an atomic bomb. As a result, Europe is now an atomic wasteland. A handful of survivors managed to find shelter in Italy, hiding out and forming a new society in an underground bunker that was built by Mussolini in the 30s. The underground society is an authoritarian one, where mad scientists experiment on the citizens and storm troopers seem to be around every corner. However, there is a small rebellion brewing….

Sounds potentially interesting, right? Well, don’t get too attached to the alternative history spin because, within the first few minutes of the film, it’s revealed that the people in the bunker aren’t actually citizens of an authoritarian state and, while the Bunker is indeed real, the rest of Europe is just fine. It turns out that documentary was just a part of an elaborate and very expensive game. Instead of being the last refuge of the Third Reich, the Bunker is full of LARPers, people who have spent a good deal of money so that they can spend a week pretending to be …. well, Nazis.

Now again, this sounds like it could be potentially interesting. Why would a group of people pay money in order to enter a real underground bunker and pretend to be some of the most evil people who have ever existed? It’s an intriguing premise but, just as with the alternate history angle, don’t get to attached to it because it doesn’t take long for the film to abandon the whole LARPing plot.

Instead, unforeseen circumstances lead to the game ending early and most of the LARPers heading home. The Bunker Game proceeds to tell a fairly standard story about a handful of people who find themselves isolated in the now-deserted Bunker. When one of their friends disappears, they split up to search for him and soon, some sort of supernatural force is killing them one-by-one. The group is made up of identifiable types. One person is quirky. Another person is serious and professional. Another is a stereotypical zoomer. Another one is too uptight and obviously destined to go crazy before the movie is over. For the most part, the film focuses on Laura (Gaia Weiss) and her cousin, Harry (Mark Ryder). Harry is determined to leave the Bunker and never again deal with any LARPers. Laura, meanwhile, finds herself strangely drawn to the Bunker, even once it becomes obvious that something is killing all of her friends. Harry cannot understand why Laura would want to be part of the Bunker Game in the first place. Laura cannot understand why anyone would want to live in the real world. Most viewers will probably be able to guess where this is all going.

That said, The Bunker Game gets the job done. The underground bunker is a wonderfully creepy setting and, even if they are playing types, the cast still does their best to bring their characters to life. (Of course, all of them are playing characters who spent a lot of money so that they could pretend to be Nazis so, well-acted or not, most viewers will have limited sympathy for them.) Though it’s hard not to regret that the film didn’t do more with its potentially interesting plot, director Roberto Zazzara does a good job of creating and maintaining a properly ominous atmosphere. For what it is, The Bunker Game works well enough. One can regret that it’s not thematically challenging while also acknowledging that, whatever flaws the narrative may have, the film still gets the job done. Those who are just looking for a well-made horror film and who aren’t necessarily concerned with whether or not the plot makes total sense will probably enjoy The Bunker Game.

Two Late Reviews: The Legend of Hercules (dir by Renny Harlin) and Pompeii (dir by Paul W.S. Anderson)

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I mentioned in a previous review, I’ve only got a few months left before I’m going to have to make out my list of the 16 worst and the 26 best films of 2014. With that in mind, I really need to get caught up on reviewing some of the films that might appear on those two lists. For the most part, I try to review every single movie that I see but, occasionally, a movie or two will slip through the cracks. And now, with Oscar season approaching but not quite arrived, seems like as good as time as any as to try to get caught up by reviewing two films that came out earlier this year: Renny Harlin’s The Legend of Hercules and Paul W. S. Anderson’s Pompeii.

The Legend of Hercules is a film that I first saw with my BFF Evelyn way back in January. And while I meant to review it after I first saw it, I simply never got around to actually doing so. Some of that is because, when Kellan Lutz first showed up on screen, Evelyn said, “Nice tits,” and I ended up laughing so hard that I nearly fell out of my seat. This led to Evelyn spending the entire film trying to make me laugh again and, in between all of the whispering and the giggling, we undoubtedly missed out on a lot of the film.

However, I recently rewatched The Legend of Hercules on Cinemax and I was quickly reminded about the other reason that I hadn’t gotten around to reviewing it. There’s really just not that much to say about The Legend of Hercules. It’s just not a very good film but yet it’s not bad in a fun way either. It’s just boring. As played by Kellan Lutz, Hercules wanders through the ancient world and he does all the stuff that you would expect Hercules to do. Actually, he does all the stuff that you would expect any character in a rip-off of 300 to do. The film could have just as easily been called The Legend of Eammon, an Irishman in Greece.

In fact, I’d really like to see a movie called The Legend of Eammon, an Irishman in Greece. Get on it, someone.

According to Wikipedia, The Legend of Hercules had a budget of 70 million dollars, which makes it a bit odd that the film itself just looks cheap and generic. At one point, Hercules fights a lion and the CGI is so bad that, for a few minutes, the movie looks like one of those senior projects that students occasionally upload to YouTube. (I was half-expecting to see a comment apologizing for the “crappy special effects” flash across the screen.) During the film’s many fight scenes, director Renny Harlin does that thing where every punch is shown in slow motion. It gets annoying after the hundredth time.

A few words about Kellan Lutz. I happen to like Kellan Lutz. I think he’s been likable in other roles. But, in The Legend of Hercules, he really did spend the entire movie looking like he was wishing that he could be anywhere else. But can you blame him?

For a far more enjoyable trip into the past, allow me to recommend a film that came out a few months after The Legend of Hercules, Pompeii.

Now, before I review Pompeii, I should admit that, as you all know, I am a history nerd and, as you all might not know, I’ve always been fascinated by the Roman Empire. The summer after I graduated high school, I took a trip to Italy and I actually walked through the streets of Pompeii. My two main memories of Pompeii: while we were touring an ancient brothel, an Australian man lay down on one of the slabs. My other memory is that it was a very windy day and I was wearing a skirt so I can legitimately say that not only have I visited Pompeii but I’ve flashed Pompeii as well.

Anyway, Pompeii the Movie tells the story of the final days of Pompeii the City. A Celtic slave and gladiator named Milo (Kit Harrington) is sent to Pompeii where he, in quick order, meets and romances the noble Cassia (Emily Browning), establishes a friendly rivalry with fellow gladiator Atticus (the always intimidating Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), spots the evil Roman General (Kiefer Sutherland) who killed Milo’s mother, and then eventually has to run for his life as a cloud of ash and a river of lava crashes down on Pompeii.

Pompeii is a lot of fun. Harrington and Browning have a lot of chemistry, all of the actors are obviously having a good time with their melodramatic dialogue, and Kiefer Sutherland was born to play an evil Roman. As opposed to the Legend of Hercules, Pompeii looks good and the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius is genuinely impressive. Perhaps best of all, the film actually allows things to play out to their natural and logical conclusion. For once, history is not changed just to force a happy ending on the viewers and Pompeii is all the better for it!

So, in conclusion: forget about The Legend of Hercules and give Pompeii a chance. Actually, you’ve probably already forgotten about The Legend of Hercules so just try not to suddenly remember it. But seriously, Pompeii is better than you might think.