Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we’ve got a two-parter!

Episode 1.16 “Follow The Leader, Part One”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 20th, 1976)

“Julie,” Gabe asks as they have dinner at the apartment, “Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Sylvester, who was a real nut?”  Uncle Sylvester went into a psychiatrist’s office and said, “Doc, you’ve got to help me!  I’m a dog!”  When asked how long he had felt like that, Sylvester replied, “Ever since I was a puppy!”

Julie is amused by the joke but she’s not amused when, the next morning, Arnold Horshack wakes her and Gabe up by tapping on their window.  Apparently, Horshack has gotten into the habit of coming over to have breakfast with Gabe and Julie and Julie is sick of it!  “We don’t have any privacy anymore!” Julie says, “Everywhere we go, there’s a Sweathog!”

Gabe gets upset at Julie for not appreciating the Sweathogs and announces that if Horshack wants to eat with them, Horshack is going to eat with them.  He then allows Horshack into the apartment, where Julie gives him the stare of death.  It seems like this might lead to trouble later….

(For the record, Julie has every right to be upset as she’s basically standing there in her bathrobe while Horshack hops up and down in her apartment.  I mean, Gabe could have at least let her get dressed before letting his creepiest student climb in through the window.)

At school, Gabe teaches the class about democracy.  He asks them how leaders are selected.  Epstein says that leaders are elected except for Gerald Ford, who became president because he was the only person in Washington who wasn’t under arrest.  Trying to reach his students, Gabe makes the mistake of saying that Vinne Barbarino is the leader of the Sweathogs.

“You’re the leader of the Sweathogs?” Freddie says to Barbarino.

“Is a bear Catholic?” Barbarino replies, “Does the Pope live in the woods?”

Gabe says that if the Sweathogs were democratic, they would have voted for who they wanted to lead them.  The Sweathogs agree to vote, with Epstein assuring Barbarino that there’s no way they would ever vote him out.

“Does anyone want to challenge Vinnie Barbarino?” Gabe asks.

Freddie Washington stands up.  “Hi there.”

The Sweathogs vote by raising their hands.  Barbarino gets five votes.  Freddie gets five votes.  Oh my God, a tie!  Wait a minute …. Epstein didn’t vote!  After Gabe tells Epstein that it’s up to him to pick the leader of the Sweathogs, Epstein smiles and says, “Washington!”

Awwwww!  Poor Barbarino!  He looks heart-broken!

Epstein explains that Barbarino has been leader for a long time and that it’s time for “New Blood.”

“Hi there,” Freddie says, “I’m Boom-Boom New Blood.”

Barbarino calls the Sweathogs “punks” and then announces he’s dropping out of school before storming out the classroom.

Way to go, Gabe!

Later that day, Julie attempts to make up with Gabe be bringing him lunch at school but she’s upset when he starts to talk about Barbarino dropping out of school.  “Can’t you talk about anything other than work!?” Julie demands, even though Gabe is actually at work.  Julie gets even more upset when Epstein and Freddie enter the classroom, despite the fact that — again — Gabe is at work and it actually is Epstein and Freddie’s classroom.

Julie storms out of class, saying that Gabe can’t take anything seriously.  Stunned Gabe barely notices as the other Sweathogs return from their lunch.  Then, he hears Barbarino calling for him out in the hallway.  Gabe steps out in the hall, to discover Barbarino wearing a skull cap and dress like a priest.  Barbarino explains that his father got so angry at Barbarino for dropping out of school that he kicked Barbarino out of the house.

“Don’t worry,” Barbarino assures Gabe, “I don’t feel this is your fault, even though most of it is.”

Barbarino says that he needs to place to stay until he can figure out what to do.  Even though he has to know what’s going to happen as a result, Gabe eventually agrees to bring Barbarino home with him.

Needless to say, Julie is not amused.  She yells at Gabe and Gabe yells back and, for a few moments, I remembered all the stories that I’ve heard about how Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman did not get along off-screen.  On-screen, Gabe Kotter tries to lighten the mood by asking Julie if he ever told her about his Aunt Ira.

“I don’t care about your jokes, Gabe,” Julie replies.  Ouch!

Julie walks out on Gabe.

OH MY GOD!  The 30 minutes are up!  How will they resolve this?  Well, let’s find out….

Episode 1.17 “Follow The Leader, Part Two”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 22nd, 1976)

I have to admit that I was really hoping that Part Two would open with Gabe telling Barbarino a joke about his uncle and Barbarino totally not getting it.  Instead, it opens with a recap of Part One.

After the recap, the show begins with Gabe sleeping on his fold-out couch and …. is that Vinnie Barbarino sleeping next to him?  The audience goes crazy because Barbarino isn’t wearing as shirt but me …. well, okay, Barbarino looks good and I would have totally had a crush on Young John Travolta too.  Still, it already seems strange enough for a student to live with a teacher without the two of them sleeping in the same bed.

Anyway, Epstein wakes them up by knocking on the window.  (The audience goes even crazier as Barbarino struts over to the window to let him in.)  It turns out that Horshack is with Epstein.  They both want breakfast.  Barbarino pours milk and cereal on them.

Entering the apartment, Epstein and Horshack discover that Julie has left Gabe.  Horshack is upset.  Epstein grins.  While the Sweathogs get ready for their day, Gabe calls the local hotel and, after realizing that she checked in under her maiden name, he finally talks to Julie.  Julie reveals that she’s called Gabe’s cousin, who also happens to be a divorce lawyer.  Gabe kicks out Epstein and Horshack and then orders Barbarino to either go to school or get a job.

“I bet you don’t think I can get a job,” Barbarino says.  “Well, guess what?  You don’t need brains to get a job …. and I’m going to prove it!”

Gabe calls Julie again and finally gets her to agree to meet him at the apartment at 3:30.  He promises that he’ll head home right after school.

Speaking of school, Freddie has managed to alienate all of the Sweathogs by letting his power go to his head.  He orders Epstein to get a haircut and he tells Gabe that the Sweathogs need a recreation period.  For some reason, Freddie wants to start the day with a square dance.

To my very real surprise, Gabe manages to get back to the apartment in time to clean up before Julie arrives.  When Julie does arrive, she complains that Gabe cares more about the Sweathogs than her (and she has a point) and Gabe says that Julie needs to stop always feeling sorry for herself (and, let’s just be honest here, he has a point as well).  Gabe tries to make his point by punching table and has to briefly step into the bathroom so he can yell in pain.

At the worst possible moment, Babarino shows up.  He took Gabe’s advice and he got a job!  He’s selling Tidy Didy cleaning products, door-to-door.

Gabe tells Barbarino to go back to school and tells Julie she has to build her own life instead of getting jealous of him and his job.  Both Barbarino and Julie say that they’ll think about it before leaving.

At school, Gabe teaches a lesson about the two-party system and the importance of competition.  Freddie admits that he doesn’t enjoy being the leader of the Sweathogs but he also doesn’t want to be a follower.  Suddenly, Barbarino shows up and says that he’s back in school.  Yay!  He also suggests that the Sweathogs don’t need a leader.  Freddie agrees.  Yay!

Barbarino then says that he hopes that Gabe doesn’t mind that he asked out Julie.

“You asked my wife out?” Gabe replies.

“Yeah, just a couple of minutes ago.  In the hall.”

Gabe steps out in the hall and discovers Julie waiting for him.  They agree to work out their problems.  Yay, I guess.  Seriously, Julie seemed really miserable with Gabe.  Julie does say that she would like to tell a joke once in a while.

“I can be very funny,” Julie says.  The audience laughs because even they know better.  “Why did the chicken cross the road?  To keep his pants up.  Why does the fireman wear red suspenders?  To get to the other side.”

That night, back at their apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he ever told her about his Aunt Bertha.

“No, no, wait!” Julie says, “Let me tell you about Aunt Bertha.”  Aunt Bertha was so fat that when she sat around the house …. she sat around the house.  That’s the joke.

This two-parter wasn’t bad at all.  I like the fact that Gabe and Julie were both, more or less, equally responsible for the problems in their marriage and young John Travolta got to show off his natural comedic timing.  Of course, if you know anything about the behind-the-scenes issues on Welcome Back, Kotter (like the fact that Marcia Strassman hated her time on the show), a lot of what happens in this episode takes on a deeper meaning.

Next week, Epstein finally finds a career path that doesn’t involve prison!