Lifetime Film Review: Psycho Sister-In-Law (dir by Jake Helgren)


When one of your in-laws is a psycho, it’s going to lead to some tense family gatherings.  There’s just no way to get around it.  Have you seen those Vrylar commercials where people are screaming at random strangers or the mother is locked away in the kitchen and sobbing all the way through her daughter’s birthday party?  Well, that’s nothing compared to what it’s like to have a murderer drop by a wedding, a reunion, or even a funeral.

From the start of Psycho Sister-in-Law, we know that Zara Downes (Lydia Hearst) is not the ideal in-law.  This is largely due to the seeing Zara murder a woman in Las Vegas.  Now, admittedly, the woman that Zara murdered was kind of mean and she was keeping Zara from finding success as an actress but it’s 2020 and there are other ways to deal with an annoying co-worker.  Murder is never the answer!

Zara, of course, claims that she has had a difficult life.  Her father was very rich man but Zara grew up without him.  Instead, he gave most of his attention and affection to his son, Nick (Brando Eaton) and his fiancée, Callie (Diora Baird).  That’s largely due to the fact that Zara was the result of an affair that he had while married to Nick’s mother.  Still, when Mr. Downes dies, Zara is invited to the reading of the will.

When the will is read, Zara is annoyed to discover that she’s inherited less than both Callie and Nick.  So, Zara sets out to ingratiate herself with Nick and his pregnant wife, Haley (Andrea Bowen).  Zara also goes out of her way to try to upset Callie. When Nick says that he’s considering giving their father’s mansion to Callie, Zara puts her evil plans into overdrive.

And really, who can blame her?  It’s a really nice house!  I mean, I know I say that about almost every Lifetime film but Psycho Sister-In-Law really does feature one of the nicest mansions that I’ve ever seen.  Obviously, I don’t want to compare myself to Zara because she does kill a few people over the course of the movie but still, I’m not totally sure that I wouldn’t go a little bit crazy over that house myself.

Most Lifetime films do require a certain suspension of disbelief.  That’s something that we’ve all come to accept about the Lifetime genre and I’m certainly not going to complain about it.  The fact that people in these movies often make stupid mistakes is one of the things that make them so entertaining.  (And before we get too judgmental regarding fictional characters, who among us hasn’t made a stupid mistake or two?)  That said, Psycho Sister-In-Law really stretches that suspension of disbelief to its breaking point.  I mean, it’s nice that Haley wants everyone to get along but, at some point, you really do have to be willing to put your foot down and say, “Hey, if you’re obviously plotting on killing everyone in the house, you’re going to have to leave.”  Zara’s villainy was so obvious that you really did have to wonder if Haley and Nick were just being intentionally blind to it.

That said, the melodrama is certainly embraced and the house is really nice.  There’s a neat and unexpected twist towards the end of the movie and Lydia Hearst appears to be having a blast playing her murderous role.  It’s a fun movie, even if Nick and Haley’s naiveté will have you rolling your eyes until you’re dizzy.

Quickie Review: Hot Tub Time Machine (dir. by Steve Pink)


I was a child of the 80’s. I can’t escape that particular information about my past, but unlike some of those of my generation I wholeheartedly embrace the 80’s both the good and the bad and the oh-so-awful. This is why after watching Hot Tub Time Machine (directed by Steve Pink…quite an 80’s name if there ever was one) I have a much deeper appreciation for the things I went through growing up as a teen during the mid-80’s. Rap was just starting to get real popular. Hairstyles, fashion and pop culture was dictated by the emerging juggernaut that was MTV (when they actually played music videos). This raunchy (and it is pretty raunchy) comedy starring John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson and Clark Duke definitely spoke to my inner 80’s teen self.

The film’s premise could’ve been taken straight out of any 80’s direct-to-video knock-off of Back to the Future meets Porky’s. I mean the title itself pretty much explains the premise of the film. A literal hot tub acts as a time machine which whisks the four actors mentioned above to 1986 where they get to re-live a specific night they all spent together in 1986 (well, except Duke’s character who wasn’t born yet). Talk about space-time continuum and butterfly effect gets bandied about, but in the end the whole film was just trying to insert as much 80’s pop culture references as possible within 90 and plus minutes.

The film definitely got the 80’s vibe by liberally putting in boobs and naked chicks. 80’s icons Chevy Chase, Crispin Glover and William Zabka make appearances and John Hughes moments get replicated. I mean shot literally like it was Sixteen Candles all over again. The performances by everyone involved was great and it seemed like everyone were enjoying themselves. Craig Robinson as Nick had me laughing out loud every time he said something.

One thing good I can say about Hot Tub Time Machine that encompasses everything good about it is that it played like the anti-Judd Apatow comedy. While Apatow laughers I enjoy they’ve gotten to the point that everyone tries to make their comedies sound like his. Plus, any comedy that can have Sixteen Candles and Red Dawn references in the same 30-minute span has to be awesome….Oh yeah, it also used Mötley Crüe’s “Home Sweet Home” power ballad over and over.

Hottie of the Day: Diora Baird


DIORA BAIRD

One Ms. Diora Baird takes on the mantle of Hottie for the Day from one Irina Voronina. Ms. Baird was first discovered as a model while doing side jobs while trying to break into acting. It was during one of these side jobs that she someone saw her and thus her modeling career began. She became the a Guess? model pretty quickly. Landing spreads and covers at magazines such as FHM, Maxim and the like helped move her modeling career forward but it wasn’t until landing the cover of Playboy Magazine‘s August 2005 issue that she really got noticed. It wasn’t too long until she became an Elite Modeling Agency model.

Ms. Baird could easily have kept to modeling but she continued with her dream to break into the entertainment industry as an actress. In between modeling gigs she landed roles in small films. Usually they were comedies and horror films like Wedding Crashers and Brain Blockers. Her big break came when she was cast as one of the main characters in the prequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. In 2010 she’s to be seen as Lily Thompson in the remake of the horror cult-classic, Night of the Demons.