David Cowgill | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, season 2 comes to an end!

Episode 2.24 “Friends”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on May 7th, 1986)

Jonathan and Mark have a new assignment. They’re going to be working as substitute teachers.

“I don’t want to be a teacher!” Mark says.

It’s actually kind of interesting that Mark is never happy with any of the assignments that he and Jonathan are given. It seems like almost every assignment involves making him do something that he doesn’t want to do and also humiliating him in the process. In this episode, Mark not only has to be a teacher but he ends up teaching Sex Education. We don’t actually see Mark teaching the class. In fact, Mark is actually barely in this episode. But we certainly do hear Mark complaining about having to do it.

This episode finds Jonathan reaching out to two troubled students. Jack Mason (Darren Dalton) is only going to school because he likes playing on the baseball team and he’d like to win the state championship before his senior year ends. Otherwise, Jack doesn’t care about his grades or even graduating. He tells Jonathan that his father dropped out of school and he’s doing just fine. Jack even suggests that he personally might drop out as soon as baseball season ends.

(Jack is apparently a good baseball player but he never mentions any desire to play professionally. That would truly make him unique amongst high school jocks. It would also suggest that Jack is realistic enough to realize how difficult it is to make it as a professional athlete. Jonathan gives Jack a hard time about his attitude but Jack might be smarter than he seems.)

Because Jack is failing Algebra, Jonathan arranges for Jack to have a tutor. Jonathan selects Jenny Bates (Judy Carmen) for the job. Jenny is a lonely girl who is good at Algebra and insecure about being overweight. She desperately just wants to have a friend but hardly anyone at the school is willing to talk to her. Will she be able to help Jack improve his grades? Will Jack finally realize that his father is struggling due to his lack of a high school diploma? Will Jack’s bitchy girlfriend (Alexandra Powers) invite Judy to a party just so she can trick Judy into putting on a bathing suit so that she can be humiliated in front of everyone? Will the episode end with Jack on the way to graduating and Judy finally having made a friend? This is Highway to Heaven so I think you know the answer to all those questions.

“If I can pass Algebra,” Jack tells Judy, ‘you can lose weight!”

Now, that’s definitely not something that you would hear on a network television program today. Not in today’s age of body positivity. That said, let’s be honest. Being overweight is not necessarily healthy and, just as no one should be ridiculed for being on the heavy side, no one should be shamed for trying to lose weight if that’s what they want (or need) to do.

This episode was a bit on the predictable side, but that’s actually one of the things that people tend to like about shows like Highway to Heaven. Judy Carmen gave a poignant performance as Jenny. Darren Dalton played Jack as being a bit of an arrogant knucklehead and that made all of the scenes in which Jonathan yelled at him feel extremely satisfying. (I should note that I recently rewatched the original Red Dawn so I spent this entire episode thinking about how Dalton betrayed The Wolverines to the Russians.) This episode featured Jonathan at his most stern and it was an interesting change-of-pace from the gentle technique that Jonathan usually uses during his missions.

With this episode, the second season ends. It was a good season, overall. The show can be corny and a bit mawkish but it’s all so earnest and sincere that it’s often impossible not to be somewhat moved by it. Next week, we start season three!

The year is 1886 and Sir Lionel Frost (Hugh Jackman) is the world’s greatest adventurer.

Or, at least, that’s what he says. Actually, Sir Lionel may have made a name for himself and gained some popularity as a result of his many adventures but his fellow explorers and adventurers don’t take him seriously. They view Sir Lionel as being little more than a self-promoter and they’re largely unimpressed with the all the time that he’s devoted to searching for mythical beasts like The Loch Ness Monster and lost lands like El Dorado. Sir Lionel desperately wants to join the London-based Society of Great Men but the snobbish Lord Piggot-Dunceby (Stephen Fry) refuses to accept his application.

When Sir Lionel receives a letter from someone in America who claims to have tracked down the legendary Sasquatch, Sir Lionel and Lord Piggot-Duncey make a bet. If Sir Lionel can prove that the Sasquatch exists, he will be allowed to join the Society. Sir Lionel heads off to America while Lord Piggot-Dunceby promptly hires an evil bounty hunter named Willard Stenk (Timothy Olyphant) to prevent him from accomplishing his mission. As Lord Piggot-Dunceby explains to his assistant, Mr. Collick (Matt Lucas), the world is changing too quickly. If Sir Lionel isn’t stopped, people might start to believe in things like evolution or women’s rights.

When Sir Lionel arrives in America, he promptly starts searching for the Sasquatch and, amazingly enough, it doesn’t take him very long to find him. It turns out that the Sasquatch — who Sir Lionel names Mr. Link — not only speaks remarkably good English but he’s also the one who wrote to Sir Lionel in the first place. As played by Zach Galifianakis, Mr. Link is a rather laid back and good-natured Sasquatch. In some ways, Mr. Link is surprisingly worldly and, in other ways, he’s rather naive. He takes everything that he hears literally, which poses a problem since Sir Lionel has a tendency towards sarcasm. It also turns out that Mr. Link is lonely but he thinks that he might be related to the Himalayan Yetis. And Mr. Link thinks that Sir Lionel is just the man to help him get from America to Asia!

Sir Lionel reluctantly agrees. Accompanying them on their journey is Sir Lionel’s former girlfriend, Adelina Fortnight (Zoe Saldana). And pursuing them, every step of the way, is Lord Piggot-Dunceby and Willard Stenk.

Missing Link is an enjoyable and undeniably cute stop-motion animated film. It was produced by Laika, the same animation outfit that previously gave us Kubo and The Two Strings. While Missing Link is never as memorable or emotionally resonant as Kubo, it’s still a good-hearted film and entertaining enough that an adult can watch it without wanting to tear their hair out. Blessed with impressively detailed animation and the comedic vocal talents of Hugh Jackman, Stephen Fry, Timothy Olyphant, and Zach Galifianikis, Missing Link has enough funny moments and clever lines that most audiences should be able to overlook the fact that the story itself sometimes feels a bit haphazard in its construction. Much like the Sasquatch at the center of its story, Missing Link is a rather laid back film. If Kubo was a carefully-constructed work of art, Missing Link feels like it was almost thrown together at random. The film is at its best once it reaches the Himalayas, where the humor becomes very barbed and Emma Thompson steals the show in a sharp-witted cameo.

I enjoyed Missing Link. It’s just too sweet-nartured not to like.