October True Crime: Smiley Face Killers (dir by Tim Hunter)


“Okay, you need to go back on your meds….”

“Kaeen, I am on my meds.”

That exchange, between college student Jake (Ronen Rubinstein) and his girlfriend, Keren (Mia Serafino), pretty much sums up 2020’s Smiley Face Killers.  It’s a study of modern paranoia, in which Jake thinks — with good reason — that he’s being stalked and all of his friends think that he just needs to take more of his meds.  The fact that a lot of very weird things are happening to Jake doesn’t really matter to his friends.  They’ve decided that any and all problems are linked somehow to taking meds.  “Take your meds” is the only solution that they can offer up.  It’s empty advice but it’s also advice that makes them feel absolved about going to parties and obsessing on their own petty dramas while Jake essentially loses his mind.

Jake suspects that he’s being stalked and that his phone is being hacked and that someone wants to kill him.  He’s absolutely right about that.  The majority of the film follows Jake as he tries to get someone — anyone — to accept that he’s right to be paranoid.  The film may have been sold as Eli Roth-style torture porn or as a postmodern slasher movie but, instead, it’s a study in isolation.  Jake is being stalked by the Smiley Face Killers for reasons that are never made particularly clear.  That said, one gets the feeling that, if the Smiley Face Killers didn’t get Jake, some other group of homicidal lunatics would have.  It’s a dangerous world out there and Jake has obviously pissed off the forces of fate.

Who are the Smiley Face Killers?  The film’s opening credits refer to them as being an urban legend, though I think that gives the whole Smiley Face Killer thing too much credit.  Over the years, there have been several incidents of college students drowning.  All of the students were male.  All of them were athletic.  The majority of them were members of fraternities.  Two retired homicide cops noted that smiley face graffiti was present at many of the “crime scenes” and they came up with a theory that these students were being purposefully drowned by a cult who used the smiley face as their calling card.  It’s a ludicrous theory but one that was embraced by some grieving parents who were still trying to understand how their child could have possibly died when he had his entire future ahead of him.

Of course, it’s far more probable that there is no cult.  The fact of the matter is that the smiley face is a universal symbol and it’s one that you can find drawn or painted just about anywhere.  As well, the majority of the victims were described as being drunk when last seen alive.  College students — especially frat boys — have a tendency to drink more than they can handle.  When a college happens to be near a river or even a creek, it’s a sad of fact of life that there’s a chance of someone stumbling into the water during the night.  That’s especially true if that person is drunk.  No parents wants to admit that their child died because he didn’t know when to say when, leaving them susceptible to conspiracy theories about cults.  Dr. Phil did an entire show on the Smiley Face Killer theory.  Oprah’s network aired an entire docuseries about the theory and pretty much presented it as a fact.  Both of them exploited the grief of the parents for ratings.  Shame on both of them.

As for the movie, it’s actually weirdly effective.  Screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis and director Tim Hunter (who also did the similarly dark River’s Edge) do a good job of capturing the paranoia of everyday life.  Jake is pretty much doomed from the minute we see him but the film holds our interest by showing how everyone but Jake has essentially closed their eyes to what’s happening in front of them.  In the end, Jake has no control over his fate, whether he’s taking his meds or not.

Back to School Part II #55: Sorority Nightmare (dir by Devon Downs and Kenny Gage)


(For the past three weeks, Lisa Marie has been in the process of reviewing 56 back to school films!  She’s promised the rest of the TSL staff that this project will finally wrap up by the end of today, so that she can devote her time to helping to prepare the site for its annual October horrorthon!  Will she make it or will she fail, lose her administrator privileges, and end up writing listicles for Buzzfeed?  Keep reading the site to find out!)

sorority-nightmare

When I was going to college, I was actually encouraged by quite a few people to join a sorority but I never did.  What can I say?  I fancied myself as being an artist and an intellectual.  I had no interest in conformity and, to me, that’s what sororities and fraternities represented.  Why would I want to waste my time with that when I could spend my time writing poems about death?  (Add to that, why go through all the trouble of joining a sorority when I knew I could get into all the good parties, regardless of whether I was a member of one or not?)

Seriously!

So, I made my decision to never get involved in any of that and I think I probably made the right choice for me.  But occasionally, I’ll see a film on Lifetime that will make me change my mind.  It seems that every year, there’s a few dozen Lifetime movies that are about something strange happening in a sorority.  In the world of Lifetime, sororities are full of dark secrets, constant melodrama, and, more often than not, a murder or two.   Lifetime makes sorority life look … well, if not exactly fun, at least entertaining!

Consider for instance, the film Sorority Nightmare!  Sorority Nightmare aired on July 21st and, in the best Lifetime tradition, it totally lives up to its name.  All you need to know about Sorority Nightmare is right there in the title.  It deals with a sorority and, oh my God, is this place ever a nightmare!  (According to the imdb, the film’s non-Lifetime title is Twisted Sisters.  That’s a good title because these sorority sisters sure are twisted!)

As the start of the film, first-year college student Sarah (Sierra McCormick) is a lot like me.  She’s an intellectual, a free thinker.  She’s not really interested in being a part of a sorority.  She’d rather hang out with her snarky roommate, Jodi (Sarah Kapner).  Add to that, Sarah still blames herself for the death of her older sister, Jill.  Jill was driving Sarah home after Sarah got too drunk at a party.  When Jill attempted to pose for a selfie while driving, she ended up crashing the car and dying in the process.  Sarah survived but, for obvious reasons, she’s no longer interested in getting drunk at parties.

But, her mother was a member of Psi Kappa and she insists that Sarah actually check the place out.  And since Sarah is a legacy, she’s asked to pledge.  Even though it means losing whatever credibility she may have with Jodi, Sarah decides to join.

It quickly turns out that Psi Kappa is more of a cult than a sorority.  The cult is led by Daisy (Cassidy Gifford), who is friendly, perky, intense, and more than a little frightening.  Daisy not only decides that Sarah is her new best friend but she also suggests that maybe Sarah shouldn’t have any other friends.  When Daisy isn’t trying to control everyone’s lives, she busy popping what she says are breath mints but are actually “diet pills.”

OH MY GOD, DAISY’S A SPEED FREAK!

Anyway, Sorority Nightmare pretty much plays out exactly how you would expect it to but that doesn’t matter.  As played by Cassidy Gifford, Daisy is literally a force of nature.  She’s a nonstop tornado of manipulation and malicousness and it’s a lot of fun to watch.  Sorority Nightmare is one of those wonderfully over the top Lifetime films where it’s obvious that the cast and the crew is in on the joke.  Sit back, don’t worry, and enjoy the melodrama!

Film Review: The Preppie Connection (dir by Joseph Castelo)


The_Preppie_Connection_Poster

The Preppie Connection, which is currently playing On Demand and in limited release, has got a 0% rating at Rotten Tomatoes.  That seems a little bit harsh to me.  I mean, The Preppie Connection isn’t exactly a good movie but it’s still not a disaster.  It’s main sin is that it’s generic and forgettable and squanders a potentially interesting story.  That’s definitely not a good thing but still, The Preppie Connection is still better than some of the other films that currently have a zero score on Rotten Tomatoes.  The Preppie Connection may not be great but it’s still better than Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star and A Thousand Words.

0%?

Not hardly.

More like 25%.

Anyway, The Preppie Connection is apparently based on a true story.  Tobias Hammel (Thomas Mann) is a poor kid who wins a scholarship to an exclusive private school.  At first, Tobias struggles to fit in.  He doesn’t know how to relate to his wealthy classmates and he’s embarrassed when his friends from the old neighborhood show up on campus.  When he is instructed to sign a 200 year-old book, he accidentally knocks the book to the floor.  As a result, the other students beat him up.

Fortunately, for Tobias, everyone assumes that — since he’s poor — he’ll be able to get them drugs.  At first, everyone is satisfied with weed but, since this movie is taking place in the 80s, everyone soon starts to pressure Tobias to get them cocaine.  Fortunately (and conveniently), Tobias has befriended the son of the Colombian ambassador.  Soon, Tobias is making regular trips to Colombia and returning with bags of cocaine hidden away in his travel bag.

Usually, I love films about wealthy drug addicts.  There’s usually a few good scenes of drug-fueled decadence and, since they’re rich, everyone’s usually dressed nicely.  But no… sorry.  The Preppie Connection just doesn’t work.  Visually, the film is flat and, even worse, it appears that the budget was too low to be able to afford the rights to any period music.  I was hoping to hear at least a few classic 80s songs but instead, the film only offered some generic synthesizer-fueled music.

Speaking of generic, Thomas Mann narrates nearly the entire film and it’s some of the most vapid narration that I’ve ever heard.  I mean, I understand that everyone loves Goodfellas and Casino but that doesn’t mean that every period gangster film has to feature nonstop narration.

Ultimately, The Preppie Connection is such an incredibly forgettable film that I really can’t even come up with more than 400 words to type about it.  That said, Logan Huffman and Lucy Fry both give good performances as two of Tobias’s customers and they’re good enough to bump the film up to at least a score of 25 out of 100.

Take that, Rotten Tomatoes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08zWIQ2izWI