Conrad Hurtt | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark are back in Los Angeles.

Episode 3.23 “Heavy Date”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on March 18th, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark’s latest assignment finds them in Los Angeles, where they share an apartment in a building that is managed by Marge Davis (Peggy Pope). Marge, a widow, is upset that her son, Gary (Patrick O’Bryan), doesn’t seem to have any direction in life. When Gary loses his job, Marge kneels down and puts her head in the oven. Uhmm …. okay. Suicide humor, that’s great, I guess.

Alice Hartman (Lorie Griffin) shows up in Los Angeles and takes an apartment in the building. Alice is seven months pregnant. Her mother has created a cover story, that Alice has gone to Europe for the summer. Instead, Alice has gone to Los Angeles so she can have the baby and give it up for adoption without her father finding out. Jonathan works his magic and manipulates Gary and Alice into falling in love. When Alice has her baby, Gary asks her to marry him and says that he wants to help her raise the baby. So, I guess the nice couple who wanted to adopt the baby are just out of luck.

This episode was a bit odd. When Alice first comes to Los Angeles, she says she’s seven months pregnant. The episode takes place over a longer period of time than usual and Alice eventually has the baby. At no point does Alice ever appear to be pregnant. She wears baggy clothes but still, there’s only so much that an extra-large sweater can conceal when you’re that pregnant. There was also a weird scene where Gary, pretending to be the baby’s biological father, lied to the adoptive parents and claimed that he was on probation and that his mother was in a mental institution. The show played it for laughs but again, the couple seemed so nice and happy about the idea of adopting that Gary’s lies just felt cruel. And, for a show that was all about an angel on a mission from God, it’s interesting that Gary’s actions went unpunished. If anything, he was rewarded for them.

(Seriously, the couple that wanted to adopt Alice baby, they were so nice! That the episode just kind of pushed them aside really didn’t feel right. I get that Jonathan and Mark’s assignment was to help Alice and Gary but Gary is kind of a jerk and Alice is kind of immature. Whose going to help the Wallaces, who sincerely wanted to give the baby a good home?)

This episode was obviously heartfelt. For once, Michael Landon is the sole credited writer so one gets the feeling that this episode’s story and message both meant a lot to him. (That said, Landon’s approach to the story makes the message come across as being less pro-family and more anti-adoption.) In the end, the main problem is that neither Gary nor Alice really seem worthy of all of the effort that Jonathan is putting into the assignment. It’s hard not to feel that maybe Jonathan and Mark needed to help everyone out and not just Alice and Gary.

This week, Jonathan and Mark bring together a family.

Episode 3.4 “Another Kind of War, Another Kind of Peace”

(Dir by Dan Gordon, originally aired on October 15th, 1986)

Clancy (Eugene Roche) is an old man who has never gotten over the death of his son in Vietnam. He lives alone in an apartment in Los Angeles. His only friend is Guido Liggio (Ernest Borgnine), an Italian taxi driver who lives next door. Guido, who came to this country as a refugee during World War II, is the type of salt-of-the-Earth character who says stuff like, “Clancy, how come you no be a-nice to the people?” And Clancy is the type of bitter old man who says stuff like, “Don’t ask me for money, ya bum!”

Jonathan and Mark show up at Clancy’s apartment and inform him that they work for an agency that brings refugees to the United States. They explain that Clancy’s son had a child in Vietnam. Now, both Clancy’s grandchild and the grandchild’s mother are in the United States and they need somewhere to stay. Clancy is angered by the news, claiming that the mother is lying and just trying to get into the country. But eventually, he agrees to allow Lan Nguyen (Haunani Minn) and Michael Nguyen (Ernie Reyes, Jr.) to stay in his apartment. He even agrees to give Michael lunch money so that Michael won’t starve at school. Otherwise, Clancy says that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with either of them.

Guido, on the other hand, is more than willing to host Lan and Michael. He’s a refugee himself and, even more importantly, he’s everyone’s favorite character actor, Ernest Borgnine! But Jonathan and Mark understand that their assignment is to bring together Clancy and his grandson. Guido is a nice guy but he’s not Michael’s grandfather.

At school, a bully (Adam Gifford) is stealing Michael’s lunch money. When Michael says that he needs the money for food, the bully threatens to hurt Clancy. What a jerk! Seriously, check out this totally 80s bully:

When the principal tells Mark and Jonathan that Michael has been spending his lunchtime searching for food in the school dumpsters, Jonathan tells Clancy. Clancy, angered that his money is being wasted, heads down to the school and confronts the bully. Jonathan briefly gives Clancy and Michael “the stuff,” which allows them to beat up the bully and his entire gang. This experience brings grandson and grandfather together. So, I guess the message here is that violence is the answer. Forget about that turning the other cheek stuff. Instead, just throw your bully through a car window.

This episode was pretty much what most people picture when they think of a typical Highway to Heaven episode. It was unabashedly sentimental and a bit simplistic in its approach. It was earnest enough to be likable though a bit too heavy-handed for its own good. Any show that features Ernest Borgnine as a special guest star is not exactly going to deliver anything resembling a subtle story. While this episode was never quite as good as I wanted it to be, I was still glad that Michael and his mother found a home.