Playing Catch-Up With The Films of 2017: Power Rangers (dir by Dean Israelite)

Posted on December 25, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So far, on this Christmas Day, I have posted three reviews for films that featured plots that made little to no sense to me. Well, here’s a fourth one.

Power Rangers is a cinematic reboot of the old Mighty Morphin Power Rangers television show from the 90s. It deals with five teenagers who meet in detention and, though a series of events that I really don’t feel like wasting my time recounting, end up in an old gold mine where they find five coins, which allow them to turn into … well, I guess they’re Power Rangers.

There’s Jason (Dacre Montgomery), who was a star football player until he stole a car as part of a prank and ended up crashing it. (The initial car crash is entirely filmed inside the automobile, which adds some deceptive excitement to the film.) And then there’s Kimberly (Naomi Scott), who is the mean girl who actually has a good heart. She’s in detention because she’s a cyber bully. Billy (RJ Cyler) is the genius, which means that he’s the type of socially awkward student who accidentally blows up his locker. And then there’s Trini (Becky G) and Zack (Ludi Lin), who are both just kind of there. Every good group of three has to have two extra people to get in the way and that’s pretty much the function of Trini and Zack.

Anyway, after they discover the Power Coins and share a few moments that feel as if they were lifted from Chronicle, the new Power Rangers are trained by a robot named Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) and a former Power Ranger named Zordon (Bryan Cranston) who died at around the same time as the dinosaurs. Apparently, finding the power coins has allowed the ancient evil of Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks) to be reborn and now she’s threatening to destroy either Earth or the universe. Actually, I was never quite sure what Rita was trying to do. But the Power Rangers have to set aside their differences, learn to work as a team, and come together to defeat her.

Or something like that. Honestly, this film featured a lot of exposition about people with names like Zordon and Rita Repulsa and Goldar and my eyes pretty much glazed over while I was trying to listen to it all. Listen, I am a fidget spinner-carrying member of the Severe ADHD Club. The minute they started explaining the lengthy history of the Power Rangers, my mind pretty much started looking for anything else to focus on. It would have been different if the film has some sort of epic scope or if it made it look like it would actually be fun to be a Power Ranger. Instead, it just turned into another franchise-opening action film. Basically, it felt like The Fantastic Four movie, with one extra member of the team.

I should admit that I’ve never seen an episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Perhaps if I had, I would have gotten more out of this movie. The five actors playing the Power Rangers are all talented and charismatic and I look forward to seeing what they do in the future. But this confusing mess of a movie just left me with a headache.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #129: Accidental Obsession (dir by George Erschbamer)

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the Lifetime premiere of Accidental Obsession.

Caroline Cave stars in Accidental Obsession

Why Was I Watching It?

After A Deadly Adoption, Trigger Point, and Lethal Seduction, it is obvious that Lifetime is on a roll. In the future, when we look back at the history of Lifetime movies, 2015 will definitely be seen as a high point. Naturally, how could I not excited by the idea of a Lifetime movie premiering on Sunday? Surely, Accidental Obsession would prove to be yet another Lifetime masterpiece…

What Was It About?

After Carly (Caroline Cave) escapes from a mental asylum, she murders and steals the identity of a travel writer named Vanessa. She then manages to meet and befriend an attorney named Heather (Josie Davis).

Within a matter of days, Vanessa has become clingy and possessive. Not only does she regularly break into Heather’s house but she borrows Heather’s clothes without asking as well! (Breaking and entering is one thing. Borrowing without asking permission is something else all together!) However, it turns out that Vanessa is not the only person obsessed with Heather. There’s also Heather’s ex-husband, Ray (Sebastian Spence) and a private investigator named Jack (Marc Menard).

(This movie could have just as easily been called Everyone Loves Heather.)

How far will Vanessa go to have Heather all to herself? Well, Vanessa is kind of a crazy stabby psycho so you can probably guess what ends up happening.

What Worked?

Josie Davis is a Lifetime veteran and, as a result, she knew exactly the right type of performance to give in a film like Accidental Obsession. As well, Caroline Cave gave a good performance as the psycho Vanessa.

What Did Not Work?

Sad to say, this was definitely a lesser Lifetime film. The film opens with Carly stabbing Vanessa to death with a huge butcher knife. Despite the fact that Carly stabbed Vanessa repeatedly, there’s absolutely no blood seen on the knife or Carly afterwards. It was distracting and it pretty much set the tone for the entire film. Accidental Obsession definitely felt like a movie that was too rushed to pay much attention to details like blood.

Naturally, all Lifetime film require a certain suspension of disbelief. Accidental Obsession required a bit too much suspending. For the entire film’s plot to even come close to making sense, Heather had to be a total and complete idiot. And it’s true that there are idiots out there but they usually don’t make for compelling protagonists.

There’s also a scene of totally gratuitous animal cruelty. While I understand that the filmmakers were trying to show us how crazy and dangerous Vanessa really was, those two facts had already been pretty firmly established. As a result, the scene just felt sadistic and unnecessary.

Finally, Accidental Obsession is way too generic of a title. Add to that, no one’s obsession was really accidental.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

You meet someone, you try to be nice, and the next thing you know, that person is determined to be a part of every minute of your life. Yes, Lifetime, I’ve been there…

Lessons Learned

Be suspicious of people who steal identities, want to be your best friend, and attempt to stab your ex-husband to death. They’re probably up to no good.

What Lisa Marie and the Snarkalecs Watched Last Night #71: End of the World (dir by Steven R. Monroe)

Posted on February 24, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Snarkalecs and I watched the SyFy original movie, End of the World. For the next two hours, we literally dominated twitter as we shared our mutual, nearly obsessive love for this film. Soon, #EndOfTheWorld was a trending topic and, I’m happy to say, that ended up freaking out a lot of paranoid people who weren’t watching SyFy.

All in all, it was a pretty good night.

Why Were We Watching It?

Because that’s what the Snarkalecs do. We watch movies on SyFy and we usually get all snarky about them. However, it was difficult to be snarky about End of the World because the people who made End of The World were obviously very snarky themselves.

What Was It About?

The world’s being bombarded by chunks of electromagnetic space debris. Or something like that. Really, the important thing to know is that the world’s about to end and it’s up to two video store clerks (played by two titans of nerdy adorability, Greg Grunberg and Neil Grayston) to save it. Their solution involves breaking a sci-fi writer named Doc Brown (Brad Dourif) out of a mental asylum and Greg Grunberg working on a nuclear missile with a power drill.

However, to be honest, the plot is just a distraction. The storyline is mostly used as an excuse to make clever references to nearly ever science fiction movie ever made. Some of the references are obvious and some of them are a bit more subtle but, ultimately, they are what this movie is truly about.

What Worked?

It all worked.

Seriously, End of the World is the best film that I’ve ever seen on SyFy. It was a film that was obviously made by genre fans for genre fans and, as a result, it felt like a belated Valentine’s Day present from the SyFy network to its viewers.

As I previously mentioned, the entire film is basically a collection of references and homages to other science fiction films. While this is a technique that I’ve found cloying when used by other films, End of the World struck exactly the right tone. The references were appreciative without over going overboard and, even more importantly, they were cleverly deployed throughout the film. They moved the film forward and seemed to grow organically out of the action onscreen. As a result, even with all the references, the film itself never felt heavy-handed.

Greg Grunberg is one of those great actors who can perfectly sell both comedy and drama. His talents were on perfect display last night. Perhaps the best Grunberg line of the night was, “It’s a monologue! MONO!”

Brad Dourif didn’t have a lot of screentime but seriously, he was just adorable.

Really, the whole film was just adorable.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked.

“Oh my God! Just Like me!” Moments

Much like the character of Selena (Caroline Cave), I think Greg Grunberg’s pretty awesome.

Lessons Learned

The geeks shall inherit the Earth (but only after the Redheads are finished with it).