Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, the threat comes from space!

Episode 2.10 “Space Spores”

(Dir by Richard Freidman, originally aired on January 19th, 1997)

Having completed another intergalactic mission, the Space Shuttle Discovery returns to Earth.  Of course, when I say Earth, what I actually mean is America because we all know which country is the most important around here.

Unfortunately, the Discovery also spreads a bunch of “space dust” over a small farm in California.  It wasn’t intentional on the part of the Space Shuttle crew.  Those people are saints!  Instead, it’s just one of those accidents that happens.  The problem is that space dust is a lot more dangerous than Earth dust.  Earth dust can trigger asthma attacks (believe me, I know), while space dust can cause animals to explode.

At first, the government shows up at the farm, all decked out in their HAZMAT gear.  A few days later, Daimont Teague drags Mitch and Ryan out to the farm so that they can take another look.  Daimont doesn’t bother to give either Mitch or Ryan a HAZMAT suit and he also doesn’t bother to tell them what exactly they’re looking for.  He says he wants them to keep their minds fresh but I think it’s more a case of Teague just being a dick.  I mean, why would you task a lifeguard with investigating space dust?

While Daimont goes off to meet with his connections in the government, Mitch and Ryan investigate the farm.  They discover that the space dust has caused a lot of animals to explode.  They also discover the farmer is dead but his young daughter, Katie (Ashley Buccille), has survived.  Unfortunately, when the family dog explodes, Ryan and Katie end up covered in space dust.  Now, Mitch and Griff (who shows up because he apparently has nothing better to do on a Sunday night) have to get Ryan and Katie to a decompression chamber before the space dust causes them to explode.  Unfortunately, there’s a lot of evil government types who are more worried about the public learning about the space dust than they are about saving the lives of Ryan and Katie.

I was kind of surprised by how much this episode depressed me.  It was entirely due to the exploding animals.  We only actually see a rat and then the dog explode but apparently, a cat explodes off-screen and so do several other animals.  I always get upset when bad things happen to animals on shows like this.  For whatever reason, I don’t really seem to care that much when the same thing happens to a human being.  Some of that’s because I’ve seen all the other human beings on other shows.  I was glad that Angie Harmon didn’t blow up because Angie and I are both Texas girls and we vote the same way.  But even if Mitch hadn’t been able to save Ryan, I know that Angie would have still gone on to appear on Law & Order and Rizzoli & Isles after this show ended.  Whereas with animals, I don’t have that reassurance.

This episode, I didn’t really like.  I appreciated the anti-government theme but all of the exploding animals just weren’t for me.