Flat Broke In The ’70s: Americathon (1979, directed by Neal Israel)

Posted on July 4, 2018 by Jedadiah Leland

The year is 1998 and America is flat broke. Paper currency is now worthless and, to the joy of Ron Paul supporters everywhere, all transactions are done in gold. After the country ran out of oil, people started using skateboards and bicycles for transportation and many turned their cars into homes. While the citizenry spends their time consuming a steady diet of sitcoms and reality television, the government tries to figure out how to pay back the loan that it took from Sam Birdwater (Chief Dan George), a Native American who made billions after buying Nike. Birdwater wants his money back and he is prepared to foreclose on the entire country.

Newly elected President Chet Roosevelt (John Ritter) is not helping. A combination of Jack Tripper and Jerry Brown (who was gearing up to challenge Jimmy Carter in the Democratic primaries when Americathon was first released), Chet Roosevelt is a spaced-out former governor of California who speaks in 70s self-help slogans and who is more interested in getting laid than leading the country. Roosevelt governs out of The Western White House, a condo in California. When an ad exec named Eric McMerkin (Peter Reigert) suggests a month-long telethon to raise the money to pay off the loan, Roosevelt leaps at the chance.

Hosted by Harvey Korman, the telethon (which is called, naturally, the Americathon) features a wide variety of acts. There’s a ventriloquist. Jay Leno boxes his grandmother. Meat Loaf destroys a car. Even Elvis Costello and Eddie Money make brief appearances. While Chet falls in love with one of the performers, his chief-of-staff (Fred Willard) plots, with the leaders of a new Middle Eastern superstate, to sabotage the telethon.

Based on a play by the Firesign Theater, Americathon has a big, talented cast that is let down by Neal Israel’s uncertain direction and a script that is only rarely funny. The idea of America hosting a tacky telethon to pay its debts sounds like a good SNL skit (especially if Bill Murray played the host) but the premise is too thin for a feature film. Like Airplane! or The Naked Gun films, Americathon is a movie that tosses every joke it can against the wall to see what will stick. If the jokes are good, like in Airplane!, that formula can lead to a comedy classic. If the jokes are bad, not even John Ritter, Harvey Korman, and Fred Willard can make them funny.

Today, if Americathon is remembered, it’s because it supposedly predicted several future events. Americathon does take place in a future where China is an economic superpower, Nike is a huge conglomerate, and reality game shows are very popular. But, even with those correct predictions, Americathon is a such a film of its time that it was probably dated from the minute that it was released. Just the sight of John Ritter in a condo permanently marks Americathon as a film of and about the ’70s.

George Carlin does score a few laughs as the narrator and Elvis Costello performs both Crawlin’ To The USA and (I Don’t Want To Go To) Chelsea. Eagle-eyed viewers might want to keep an eye out for the tragic Playboy playmate, Dorothy Stratten, who has a brief non-speaking role. Otherwise, Americathon is as hopeless as the country it’s trying to save.

Things Could Be Better: 5 Fictional Presidents Who Were Surprisingly Good At Their Job

Posted on March 26, 2016 by Jedadiah Leland

americathon

Since we already looked at 8 fictional presidents who were terrible at their job, here are 5 fictional presidents who were surprisingly good at their job.

1) President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Terry Crews) in Idiocracy (2006)

Sure, it’s easy to be critical of President Comacho. During his presidency, there was famine, pestilence, death, and a total economic collapse. His decision to irrigate the nation’s crops with sports drink called Brawndo did not help. When Secretary of Interior Not Sure (Luke Wilson) decided to use water on the crops, instead of Brawndo, President Comacho sentenced him to die in a monster truck rally. President Comacho did many things that we might disagree with but he was just giving the people what they want. During the Comacho administration the people were happy. Stupid but happy. To his credit, when shown filmed proof that the water making crops grow better than Brawndo, President Comacho pardoned Not Sure and appointed him Vice President. A good President always surrounds himself with the best and the brightest people available.

2) President Thomas “Tug” Benson (Lloyd Bridges) in Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)

What can we say about President Thomas “Tug” Benson that hasn’t already been said? The former admiral did many controversial things as President. He complained that his ambassadors always left the country right after he appointed them. He nearly invaded Minnesota. He mistook the first lady for a spy. He hit every other living President with a shovel (except for Gerald Ford, who just fell down on his own). But what other President could swim to Iraq and personally engage Saddam Hussein in a light saber duel? To quote President Benson, “We’ll do this the old Navy way. First man to die, loses!”

3) President Chet Roosevelt (John Ritter) in Americathon (1979)

When Chet Roosevelt is elected president, the former governor of California brings a sunny disposition, an optimistic outlook, and an encyclopedic knowledge of affirmative sayings to the White House. America needs it because all of the oil has dried up, many of its citizens are living out of their cars, and a cartel of wealthy Native Americans are threatening to repossess the entire country unless their money is paid back. How does President Roosevelt save the country? First, he smokes a joint. After that, he puts together a telethon — an Americathon — to raise the money to save the country! Teddy and FDR would be proud!

4) President Taffy Dale (Natalie Portman) in Mars Attacks! (1996)

At the end of Mars Attacks!, 15 year-old Taffy Dale succeeds to the presidency after her father, President James Dale, is killed the Martians. That may not be constitutional and Taffy is legally too young to serve but since there are only 10 people left alive at the movie and Tom Jones doesn’t want the job, an exception to the rules can be made. By awarding the medal of honor to Richie Norris and his grandmother, President Taffy Dale lets those 10 people know that America will rebuild.

5) President John “Bluto” Blutarsky (John Belushi) in National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) and Where Are They Now?: A Delta Alumni Update (2003)

We should only be so lucky.

President Blutarsky

6 Trailers That Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With Christmas

Posted on December 15, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi everyone! Is the Christmas season stressing you out? I know it is for me. I’ve got multiple Christmas Parties to attend this week, Dazzling Erin and I have a house that’s only halfway decorated, and I’ve still got a lot of presents to buy. We have something for Sonny, we have the tie for Fredo, and Tom Hagen gets the Reynolds Pen but otherwise, I’m still struggling to get all of my shopping done.

(It would help if I could stop finding so much stuff that I want for myself.)

With all that in mind, here’s the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers! Below are 6 trailers that have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas!

Enjoy!

1) Sting of the Dragon Masters (1973)

2) Stacey (1973)

3) The Italian Stallion (1970)

4) Tattoo (1981)

5) Mad Monkey Kung Fu (1979)

6) Americathon (1979)

What do you think, Trailer Kitty?

6 Trailers For 6 Films That Were Snubbed By The Academy

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Seeing as how the Oscar nominations are due to be announced on Tuesday, I thought I would devote this edition to Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers to films that were snubbed by the Academy. Remember them while you’re watching Rooney Mara accept best actress.

1) A Life of Ninja (1983)

Despite the colorful trailer, this film was not nominated for best Costume Design, Art Design, or Cinematography. Instead, all three of those awards went to Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander.

2) The Shark Hunter (1979)

Franco Nero was not nominated for best actor for his performance here. Instead Dustin Hoffman won for Kramer vs. Kramer.

3) The Terrornauts (1967)

The true terror is that the 1967 Oscar for Special Visual Effects went to Doctor Dolittle and not The Terrornauts.

4) Americathon (1979)

The Academy has never really appreciated hard-hitting political satire which perhaps explains why the previously mentioned Kramer Vs. Kramer won best picture while Americathon was not even nominated.

5) Don’t Torture A Duckling (1972)

The Oscar for Best Foreign language film of 1972 was given to Luis Bunuel’s The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and not to Lucio Fulci’s classic giallo Don’t Torture A Duckling.