Amanda Blake | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

For this week’s cruise, Julie learns that she’s not the only person who can do her job!

Episode 3.3 “The Grass is Greener/Three Stages of Love/Oldies But Goodies”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on September 22nd, 1979)

This week, Julie is super excited when her friend, Tina Philips (Joan Hackett), boards the cruise with her young son, Brian (Adam Rich). Tina and Julie went to cruise director school together, where they were both taught by none other than Captain Stubing.

(As I’ve mentioned before, there have been a lot of weird continuity issues with establishing just how long anyone had actually known Captain Stubing. During the first season, everyone was unsure of what to make of Captain Stubing and none of them had any experience sailing with him. But, in the second season, Stubing was suddenly celebrating his five year anniversary as the ship’s captain. And, in this episode, Stubing is established as being Julie’s mentor.)

Tina had a crush on Stubing while she was a student and Stubing had a bit of a crush on her as well. Though Tina could have had a great career as a cruise director, she decided to get married and settle down instead. Now, with her marriage falling apart, Tina boards the boat and immediately starts giving Stubing and Julie advice. Julie, meanwhile, takes care of Brian while Tina dances with the captain. Tina lives Julie’s life and Julie lives the life she could have had if she had stayed in Alaska and gotten married. It turns out that Julie’s a great substitute mom but Tina is a terrible substitute cruise director. Her idea of throwing a sock hop is a huge bust and, to be honest, it does seem a bit childish for a luxury cruise. In the end, Tina returns to being a single mom and Julie returns to being childless and career-driven. Yay, I guess.

Meanwhile, Nora (Amanda Blake) boards the ship with her daughter, Daphne (Karen Morrow). Daphne is determined to marry a millionaire but Nora is the one who finds love when she meets the wheelchair-bound Phillip (Barry Sullivan). Unfortunately, Phillip’s stuffy valet, Perkins (Werner Klemperer), insists that Philip needs to stay in his cabin and watch his blood pressure. Fear not, though. Daphne finds a millionaire and the millionaire hires away Perkins so now Phillip and Nora are free to have fun. Yay!

(Though, really, Phillip should keep an eye on his blood pressure….)

Finally, Mike (Eddie Mekka) and Robin (Lani O’Grady) seems like a perfect couple, except for the fact that Mike is convinced that all relationships go through three stages before ending and he has an annoying habit of saying stuff like, “We’ve just entered stage two!” Robin gets tired of Mike and his cynicism and eventually, Mike decides to give love a try because …. well, I’m not sure why. I think it was because the episode was nearly over.

This episode was pleasant but, ultimately, rather forgettable. Nora and Phillip were a nice couple but Perkins was portrayed in an over-the=top villainous light, especially when one considers that he was just doing the job he was hired to do. Mike and Robin seemed like they were still destined to break up, even as they left the ship in love. I did enjoy the scenes in which Tina’s sock hop party turned out to be a bust, just because it seemed like a dumb idea from the minute she mentioned it. That said, the main message of this episode seemed to be that having a family and career were two mutually exclusive things, which I certainly did not agree with.

Again, this was not necessarily a bad episode. It was just kind of a bland one.

Seven days ago, we started embracing the melodrama with my review of No Down Payment, a look at lies and betrayal in suburbia. Today, we conclude things with 1988’s The Boost, a look at lies, betrayal, and cocaine in California, with the emphasis on cocaine.

From the first minute we meet Lenny Brown (James Woods, at his nerviest best), we assume that he has to be high on something. He’s a real estate broker and he’s one of those guys who always looks a little bit sleazy no matter how hard he tries otherwise. His smile is just a little too quick. He laughs a little bit too eagerly at his own jokes. He talks constantly, an endless patter of self-serving compliments, nervous jokes, and self-affirming platitudes. He’s a bundle of nerves but he’s also a brilliant salesman. We may assume that he’s on coke when we first see him but actually, he doesn’t touch the stuff. He barely drinks.

Of course, that changes when he’s hired by Max Sherman (Steven Hill). Max is a philosophical businessman, the type who makes sure that everyone who works for him gets a nice house, a nice car, and several lectures about what’s important in life. When Max first shows up, it’s tempting to dismiss him as just a self-important businessman but he actually turns out to be a nice guy. He gives Lenny a ton of good advice. Unfortunately, Lenny ignores almost all of it.

At first, life is good for Lenny and his wife, Linda (Sean Young). Lenny is making tons of money, selling houses that can used as a tax shelter or something like that. (I never understand how any of that stuff works.) Lenny is making all sorts of new friends, like Joel Miller (John Kapelos) and his wife, Rochelle (Kelle Kerr). Joel owns four car washes and he’s made a fortune off of them. All of that money means that he can throw extravagant parties and take nice trips. It also means that Joel has a never-ending supply of cocaine. At first, Lenny turns down Joel’s offer of cocaine but eventually he gives in. At the time, he says that he just needs a little boost. Soon both Lenny and Linda are addicts.

Of course, nothing goes on forever. The tax laws change and Max suddenly finds himself out-of-business. Lenny and Linda lose their house. They lose their expensive car. They even lose their private plane. They end up staying in a tiny apartment. Lenny says that he can still sell anything and that they’ll be back on top in just a few months. Of course, even while Lenny is saying this, his main concern is getting more cocaine…

Though dated, The Boost is an effective anti-drug film. The scene where Lenny overdoses is absolutely harrowing. Wisely, the film doesn’t deny the fact that cocaine is a lot of fun before you end up losing all of your money and having to move into a cheap apartment with shag carpeting. It’s a bit like a coke-fueled Days of Wine and Roses, right down to an ending that finds one partner clean and one partner still in the throes of addiction. James Woods gives a great performance as the self-destructive Lenny, as does Sean Young as his wife and partner in addiction. And then there’s Steven Hill, providing the voice of gruff wisdom as Max Sherman. When Max says that he feels that he’s been betrayed, Hill makes you feel as if the entire world has ended.

Speaking of endings, that’s it for this latest installment of Embracing the Melodrama. I hope you enjoyed this mini-series of reviews and that you will always be willing to embrace the … well, you know.