Alan Jordan | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, season two of this show finally comes to an end.

Episode 2.22 “Put Your Best Face Forward”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on March 22nd, 1987)

The second season of Check It Out! ends by revealing a little bit more about the origin story of Howard Bannister.

Howard’s stint at hotel management school has been mentioned several times throughout the series. In this episode, he is upset because his reunion is coming up and he’s the only members of his graduating class to have not made a success of himself. One of his classmates owns several motels. Another manages a popular bed and breakfast. Lester Pinkus (Alan Jordan) has had the most success of all. He is the manager of a 5-star luxury hotel. Meanwhile, Howard is just the manager of a small grocery store in Canada.

Howard explains to Edna that he was always at the top of his class but somehow, he flunked the final exam. Lester, who was previously always at the bottom of the class, got the highest score on his final and received a great job right out of school. With the reunion coming up, Howard is feeling inadequate. When he sees that Lester still looks young and happy, Howard decides to take Lester’s advice and get a facelift.

Or, at least, that’s Howard’s plan until he actually meets the doctor (Jack Northmore) and learns what a facelift entails. The doctor explains he’ll be peeling back Howard’s entire face and then breaking his nose. Agck! Howard faints and goes to his reunion with a black eye.

(For the record, there was a time when I was determined to get a nose job but then I considered that I had inherited my nose from my mom and it would be disrespectful to do anything to it. Big Nose Crew forever!)

At the reunion, Lester accepts an award for all of his success. He then announces that he doesn’t feel like he can accept the award because he cheated on the final. He stole Howard’s exam paper, put his name on it, and turned it in as his own. As such, Howard was actually the one who got the best score on the exam while Lester was the one who should have flunked. Lester says that he’s happy now because he’s rich, successful, and has a newly cleared conscience.

I have to admit that made me laugh. Howard’s life sucks and it’s all because of Lester. Lester’s girlfriend throws champagne in his face and then leaves him. Howard thanks Lester’s girlfriend so Edna throws champagne in Howard’s face and season two comes to an end.

What a strange show. Edna learns why Howard is so miserable and instead of offering him any sympathy over the fact that he’s doomed to spend the rest of his life as a grocery store manager, she throws champagne at him and accuses him of cheating. Howard can’t win but that’s okay because Howard really isn’t that likable of a character.

Season two was …. well, yes, it was inconsistent and frequently downright bad. But the show occasionally showed some sparks of life, usually when the focus was on the supporting cast. Jeff Pustil, Kathleen Laskey, Aaron Schwartz, and especially Gordon Clapp were able to generate some laughs, even from the weakest of material. The season season suffered because Howard’s personality seemed to change from episode-to-episode. It’s hard to root for a guy who doesn’t behave in a consistent manner.

Will the third and final season be an improvement? We’ll start finding out next week!

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode of Friday the 13th is …. well, it’s not that good. Let’s talk about it.

Episode 1.14 “Bedazzled”

(Dir by Alexander Singer, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

With Jack and Ryan out of town to attend an astrology convention, Micki has got the antique store to herself …. or, at least, she does until she agrees to babysit a bratty kid named Richie (Gavan Magrath). Even worse than Richie are Jonah (Alan Jordan) and Tom (David Mucci), who claim to be telephone repairmen but who are actually at the store because they want to retrieve a cursed lantern that was taken from them by Jack and Ryan.

(Incidentally, they kill the real telephone repairman before showing up at the store. The real repairman is played Timothy Webber, who played Mo in Terror Train. Meanwhile, Dave Mucci played Wendy’s thuggish boyfriend in Prom Night. So, if nothing else, this episode is a footnote of sorts in Canadian slasher history.)

The cursed lantern is probably the lamest antique that the show has featured up to this point. Using the lantern, undersea divers can find hidden treasure. But after finding treasure, the lantern then has to set someone on fire. (Basically, after hidden treasure is found, anyone who is touched by a beam of the lantern’s light will burst into flames.) The man problem is that the lantern is so big and bulky that Jonah just looks silly whenever he picks it up and aims the lantern’s fiery light at anyone. It is a seriously awkward and rather impractical weapon, one that appears to not only be impossible to aim but also next to impossible to run with as well. Add to that, it turns out that the beam of light can diverted by a mirror so it’s not only a lame item but an easily defeated one as well.

It’s a shame that this episode isn’t better. Micki may have the best hair and the best fashion sense of anyone on the show but it’s rare that she ever really gets an episode all to herself. But this episode saddles her down not only with forgettable villains and an impractical cursed item but it also forces her to deal with a bratty kid. The kid survives his night at store and, by all logic, he should be traumatized for life. Instead, he tells his mother about everything that happened and his mother laughs about what a great imagination he has. Seriously, though, shouldn’t Micki have some magic wand that she could use to erase Richie’s memory or something? It seems kind of dangerous to let a kid that bratty know that the store is full of magic items.

Anyway, this was a forgettable episode so I’m keeping the review short tonight! Fortunately, next week’s episode will be much better.