Stranger Things S2 E3 -“The Pollywog”; ALT Title: I Used To Have a Role on Stranger Things


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Cold Open:  Dustin brings the Wee Kaiju into his home.  Really?! Really?! If you think it crosses anyone’s mind that the Wee Kaiju came from the Upside Down, you’d be wrong.  Even though it looks like a Wee Kaiju, Dustin battled the Upside Down, it’s scared of light, and …. I give up.

Hop spends a lot of the episode trying to make amends with El with waffles.  We learn that her captivity has been going on for almost a year and SHE IS BORED.  There are a series of flashbacks of Hop finding her, taking her into his Uncle’s abandoned cabin, and an amazingly sad house cleaning montage.  I love a good montage, but this one made my heart hurt a little.  Hop establishes three rules all that involve El being under house arrest.  So, she breaks out and goes forth into the village below.

Bob tries to coach Will on facing his fears, which would be good, but here in Monsterville, Indiana – it’s very very bad advice. Then, he goes to school.  That’s it.

Mr. Clarke is trying to teach and Dustin busts in bothering everyone and Mr. Clarke tries to roll with it.  Of course, he and Cara Buono are marginalized this season and it is awful.  Dustin shows all the boys and the Red Haired Girl the Wee Kaiju and no one connects it to the Upside Down for like a while.  The Wee Kaiju escapes, they play the gremlins song, and it’s almost watchable.  Will doesn’t want the Red Haired Girl to help and she totally crushes on him.  El watches on and goes all psycho ex-girlfriend and makes her fall off her skateboard.

Will, you should really consider moving far far away and try not to date another Secular Carrie.  

Dustin finds the Wee Kaiju and hides it to keep it safe from the villagers.  Dustin — SHAME!!!!

Hop has a mini-quest and tells Paul Reiser that the rot is emanating from the lab and I guess they should check on it.

Nancy spends a lot of the episode talking about herself.  Then, she decides to spill the beans to Barb’s parents on an unsecured line.  This would be fine except for this: her mom who was all up in her business last season wasn’t even phased that she took Creeper up into her bedroom, with electronic equipment, and during school hours.

Winona also starts to believe Will is seeing a monster.

 

Will goes into the Upside Down, faces the shadow monster, and gets possessed “Supernatural” style.

All in all this season is like a chewed-on jigsaw puzzle- contrived connections and a gushy mess.

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TV Review: The Walking Dead 8.3 “Monsters” (dir by Greg Nicotero)


Before watching tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead, I was starting to worry that I might be impossible to please.

I spent all last season complaining that The Walking Dead was too talky and slow-paced.  Then last week’s episode was pretty much nonstop action and I ended up getting bored out of my mind, largely because I didn’t feel like I had any sort of emotional stake in any of the characters.  When tonight’s episode started, I was literally wondering if perhaps I’m destined to never be truly satisfied with anything that happens on The Walking Dead.

When the episode started with the attack still going on and Morales and Rick still talking, I was a little bit concerned.  I was really worried that the entire episode was just going to be the two of them discussing what constitutes morality during the zombie apocalypse.  I honestly didn’t remember much about who Morales was so I have to admit that I wasn’t terribly affected by his tales of woe and death.  Morales explained that he lost everyone.  Rick mentioned that he had lost a lot of people that he cared about.  (Rick didn’t mention that most of them died as the result of Rick being a terrible strategist but no mater.)  I was really starting to get concerned that the conversation was never going to end but then Daryl showed up and killed Morales.  Thank you, Daryl.  From now on, whenever a minor character threatens to hijack an episode, Daryl kills them.  That’s the new rule.

The episode definitely picked up after the death of Morales.  In fact, thing got so much better after Morales died that I almost felt as if, by killing Morales, the show’s producers, writers, and directors were specifically telling us, “Don’t worry.  We learned our lesson last season.  We’re not going to let random characters wander in and take over the show this season.”

As for the rest of the episode, I know that many would probably say that the fight between Morgan and Jesus was a highlight and I’ll agree that it was a very well-done sequence.  (It helped that it was combined with scenes of Rick and Daryl fighting their own battle, for once giving us a chance to understand where all of these characters are in relation to each other.)  The scenes with Aaron and Eric were definitely the episode’s emotional high point and the sight of Eric wandering around as a walker served as nice reminder that, before it all became about Negan and Alexandria, The Walking Dead a show about … well, the walking dead.

For me, though, the best part of tonight’s episode was Gregory showing up at Alexandria and begging to be allowed to come back in.  Maggie, of course, immediately noticed that Gregory was driving Father Gabriel’s car.  Gregory lied and said that he had just found the car.  (Of course, we all know that he deserted Gabriel, leaving him with Negan.)  When Maggie said that Kal had told them that Gregory went to see Negan, Gregory announced that Kal couldn’t be trusted.

Suddenly, Kal leaned over the side of the wall.

Gregory looked up at him.  “Kal,” he sad.

Kal gave Gregory the finger.

Now, it may be a case of me being easily amused but that one hand gesture made the entire night for me.  It was so simple and yet so appropriate that it was pure genius.  If Gregory had been caught telling lies about Rick, Rick would have launched into a speech about why no one is allowed to lie in this new world.  If Gregory had been caught telling lies about Negan, we would have had to spend three episodes listening to Negan’s lecture.  Gregory got caught telling lies about Kal and Kal responded quickly, silently, and efficiently.  Everyone on The Walking Dead should try to be more like Kal.

Anyway, Maggie did let Gregory back into the compound.  Rick probably would have shot Gregory in the head.  Maggie does things differently.

Speaking of which, at the end of the show, Rick promised a savior that he would be allowed to escape if he would just tell Rick and Daryl where they could find a case of guns.  The savior told them and Daryl promptly shot him in the head.  I can’t say that I blame Daryl.  That’s just the way things work in the heartless world of The Walking Dead.

Anyway, despite a shaky start, this episode turned out pretty well.  It was certainly a huge improvement on the previous two episodes of this season.

Allow me to end this review with a question and prediction.

First, the question: “Where’s Carl?”

A prediction: The first half of season 8 will end with a zombiefied Carl walking towards Rick.  I know that would be a major departure from the comic book but, honestly, it makes sense.  On the show, only two or three years have passed since Rick woke up from that coma.  In the real world, it’s been nearly 8 years and Chandler Riggs isn’t getting any younger.

We’ll see what happens!

A Blast From The Past: Degrassi of the Dead


Well, Halloween and this year’s horrorthon are both nearly over.

Since I started things off with The Curse of Degrassi, it only seems appropriate for me to end my part of it with Degrassi of the Dead!  This 10 minute film takes a non-canonical look at what would happen to everyone’s favorite Canadian high school if there was a zombie apocalypse!

(By the way, I know what you’re thinking but this was actually made in 2007, long before the premiere of The Walking Dead.)

Enjoy watching Drake turn into a zombie!

Horror on TV: Thriller 2.20 “The Hollow Watcher” (dir by William F. Claxton)


Here’s one final episode of Thriller for this October’s horrorthon!

In this episode, we learn what happens when you stuff a dead body in a scarecrow.  The scarecrow stalks you!

Seriously, scarecrows are so freaky.

Enjoy!

 

Stranger Things 2, S2 E2, Trick or Treat, Freak; ALT Title: Halfway Happy


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Happy Halloween!!! Stranger Things 2 is in full-swing, but with some new twists like  characters behaving stupidly out of character to move the plot forward.

The episode begins with El saying, “Goodbye Mike.” *sniff*  BUT, she didn’t die after killing the Demimooregorgan! Instead of dying, she went into the Upside Down, escaped, and became feral in the Indiana woods living off squirrels and mugging hunters for their coats.  Really.  So, Yay?

Present day, she’s living with Hop who protects her by raising her in isolation.  She wants to go Trick or Treating.  Hop refuses.  Instead he offers a compromise: he’ll get home early, they’ll eat candy, and watch a movie.  Hop calls this a compromise – Halfway Happy.  With the phrase Halfway Happy, Hop encapsulates the theme of his life, her life, and our experience as viewers: Halfway Happy.

Hop is halfway happy because he gets to be a dad again- Kinda.

El is halfway happy because she doesn’t have to live as a feral monster in the woods, but is isolated from any normal life.

Mike and the boys are halfway happy because they are safe – for now.

We are halfway happy because it’s season 2 and I’m reviewing again!

Here comes the stupid:

Joyce and Hop review Will’s spider beast drawing and are convinced that it’s all in head.  WHY?!  They’ve been to the upside down.  They’ve seen monsters! Why are they incredulous?!  WHY?!

We learn that Madmax’s brother is likely wanted and an asshole.  But, I gotta write- his mullet is EPIC! Points for that!

Hop investigates more rotting pumpkins and loses track of time and misses eating candy with El.  He doesn’t believe Will’s new big bad drawings, but show him some gooey trees and he’s all in baby! I wish there were more to that subplot, but there just wasn’t.

Young Judah Friedlander is really dumb this season.  Did he get a TBI?!  He doesn’t know what words mean like presumptuous and rescues an unidentified whatever (baby demimooregorgan from his trash).  WHY?! He is somewhat popular with Madmax- good on him for that.

We learn that El has honed her skills to go into the black room by using a blindfold and thinking really hard.  Good on her for that.

Will emotes with the same face again this episode as he is harassed and put into the upside down with a shadow monster.  Also, a disappointment because the last big bad was a tangible threat out to “Suck your blood”.

Nancy is going through some growth.  She’s feeling guilty about Barb.  I didn’t think that sociopaths could develop emotions.  But, here we are – Another character that is out of character.  She gets drunk, breaks up with Steve, and gets taken home by Creeper.  The parents never wake even a little, which is out of character for Cara Buono who was up in everyone’s business last season.

I’m starting to think that this season is a transition for the creators who never envisioned this story continuing.  The first season ended like a great Beowolf Epic.  El sacrifices herself and the hope of love for her quest.  Hop goes all into redeem himself as a fallen knight for redemption.  This season, in contrast, falls flat because it doesn’t know where to go.  The monster is dead and this new one lacks suspense because he’s not even corporeal.  The Duffer Brothers might be using this season as transition to figure out a new compelling narrative- at least to think so makes me Halfway Happy.

Happy Halloween!

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Horror on TV: Thriller 2.19 “A Wig for Miss Devore” (dir by John Brahm)


For tonight’s televised horror, we have yet another classic episode of the Boris Karloff-hosted anthology series, Thriller!

In the Wig for Miss Devore, Sheila Devore (Patricia Barry) is an actress looking to make a comeback.  She’s recently been cast in a film about a real-life witch who was executed centuries ago.  Sheila’s so determined to make the part her own that she’s even willing to wear a wig that once belonged to the dead witch.

Needless to say, that proves to be a mistake for her.

However, it’s enjoyable for us!

Stranger Things 2: S2 E1, Madmax, ALT Title: Something Mediocre This Way Comes


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The Hiatus is Over…. Yes, your Proto Millennial has returned to bring you all the incisiv…..Oh, you wanted to read about the next season of Stranger Things….Fine!

Stranger Things season 1 tapped into the essence of predatory thrills that exist in humankind deep within the recesses of our genes like when a lion roars at the zoo and modern people freeze in their tracks.  What could have been a better way to terrify a modern audience?  Nosferatu!!! Yes, read my previous reviews.  I’m right and other reviewers are wrong.

This season The Duffer Brothers try to hook us with the same sophomore slump method that JJ Abrams employed with The Force Awakens- Let’s just throw in another lady and make the monster….bigger.

Stranger Things wasn’t horribly boring, but we’re in for solid C quality.  Buckle up and prepare to be Mildly Entertained.

We open in Hawkins… NOPE…. Pittsburgh.  Sorry, Pittsburgh sucks on it’s best day.

We see a group of punk teens robbing an…apartment building?!  Fine.  Cops give chase one of the more stolid thieves uses her Mojo to make a cop think a bridge collapsed.  So her power is Being David Copperfield *bored clap*. She then gets bloody nose and we’re supposed to give a shit- we don’t.  She also, has a tatto of 008 in her arm; I’ll call her Crazy Eight because Eight Ball is too cool for this opening.

We return to the suburbs.  Mike and all the boys head to the arcade and lament that “Madmax” now has the Dig Dug highscore. This goes on for a while and we’re supposed to care that the Madmax is girl- We Don’t.  We see that now Will’s back. During the High Score concern, Will goes outside and sees the Upside Down, but this time there’s a storm and a big spider beast coming to the town that inspires mild interest.  Will’s performance is emblematic of the season itself- not bad, not great- just meh.

Bearded Crank is waiting for Hop at the police station.  Bearded Crank re-caps about El sorta and is a paranormal investigator or some such shit.  We learn later that he’s soaking Barb’s Parents to pay for him to search for their daughter.   Hop gets a call to investigate rotten pumpkins and boy are they rotten.  That’s about it.

Winona has found love again with a porky Sean Aston.  He’s boring and cute- that covers it.

Mike has to get rid of two boxes of his toys because he’s been rebelling.  Really?! What is he wearing a paisley sweater vest?! Hey Mike, a note from your very young Uncle.  The toys should probably go.  Also, try to date a girl who can’t disintegrate you when you cheat on her with her with the waaaaay hot Graduate School R.A. down the hall in college.  Trust me.

We learn that Will has been seeing Paul Reiser a quasi-nice therapist at the Castl… I mean Evil Government Building. Will expositions that the upside down has a really big bad coming to kill everyone.  *Shrugs* After he leaves, we return to the basement where they are pruning the upside down portal with a flame thrower- Better Government Facilities and Gardens.

The episode ends with Hop having dinner with El!!! Yay, El’s alive and Hop has a daughter again!

This episode wasn’t great, but I guess if you’re at the gym and have 47 minutes to kill… Watch “Longmire” – it’s really awesome! It’s got it all!

As always, Retweet! Repost! Tell Lisa Marie Bowman that I’m worth keeping around.

 

 

 

TV Review: The Walking Dead 8.2 “The Damned” (dir by Rosemary Rodriguez)


I want to make one thing absolutely clear: I tried.

Seriously, I tried to get emotionally involved in this episode but there’s really only so much time that I can spend watching people shoot at each other before I get bored.  It’s kinda funny, to be honest.  I spent all last season complaining about Rick not doing anything.  Then, this episode comes along and it’s basically 45 minutes of Rick and the members of his militia kicking Savior ass.  Rick is finally doing something.  This entire episode was all about Rick doing something.  And I was bored out of my mind.

Basically, this episode followed several different groups as they all launched concurrent attacks on different Savior compounds.  A few minor members of Rick’s militia died but the majority of the victims were Saviors.  For all of their fearsome reputation, it’s pretty obvious that the only really strong savior is Negan.  The rest of them are just bullies and sycophants.  Unless Negan is physically there to tell them what to do, they’re easily defeated.  Over the course of the episode, a few of the dead reanimated and started eating anyone they could get their hands on.  That was good.  The show is called The Walking Dead, afterall.

During the attack, we were allowed a glimpse into some of the group dynamics in this new alliance.  Perhaps the most intriguing scenes were the ones that features Jesus (Tom Payne) and Tara (Alanna Masterson) debating whether or not to execute a man who claimed to just be a civilian.  Tara’s approach was significantly more ruthless than Jesus’s.  Even when Jesus had both the opportunity and the justification to kill a savior, he still decided to merely knock the man out.  Jesus said that Maggie would back him up.  Tara replied that Rick’s got her back.

Meanwhile, King Ezekiel, Carol, and the rest of Team Renaissance Faire wandered through the woods, with Ezekiel going on and on with his faux royal posturing.

As for Rick, he ran into a guy named Morales who is now a part of the Saviors.  Apparently, Rick met Morales in Atlanta.  Considering that there’s only a handful of people still alive in the world of The Walking Dead, it’s actually not too shocking that Morales and Rick would run into each other again.  It’s a small world.  If Rick had run into Shane’s brother or maybe Carl (who we saw running away last week), it would be exciting.  But Morales?  Who cares?

Finally, Morgan apparently now feels that he’s achieved some sort of immortality.  I guess that means that Morgan will eventually turn out of the be this season’s surprise sacrifice.

We’ll see what happens.  Maybe this episode will pay off in the future but for now, it’s just forgettable.

 

 

 

Horror on TV: Thriller 2.18 “The Storm” (dir by Herschel Daugherty)


For tonight’s televised horror, we have another classic episode of the Boris Karloff-hosted anthology series, Thriller!

In this creepy and atmospheric episode, a newlywed (Nancy Kelly) and her cat attempt to get through a stormy night in an isolated house.  But are they really alone?

Watch, find out, and enjoy!

 

Horror on TV: Thriller 2.16 “Waxworks” (dir by Herschel Daugherty)


In this episode of the Boris Karloff-hosted anthology series, Thriller, murders are being committed all over Europe.  What do all of the murders have in common?  They have all happened outside of the same traveling wax museum!

Is it a coincidence or are the wax figures coming to life and committing murder?

This episode was written by Robert Bloch of Psycho fame and originally aired on January 8th, 1962.