Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

With their best player now dead, the Bull begin their new season.

Episode 3.5 “Illegal Use Of Love”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on September 2nd, 1987)

Uh-oh, TD Parker is cheating on his wife with assistant, Kay (Alexa Hamilton).  TD explains that his wife is upset about the amount of time that he’s putting in with the team.  She feels that he’s neglecting his family.  She doesn’t even like football anymore!

Yep, TD has a lot of excuses for cheating on his wife but don’t think that he’s a bad guy or anything.  As he tells his mistress, everything is fine except for….

As I’ve said before, probably the most interesting thing about 1st & Ten is the way that everything that OJ Simpson says now has a double meaning.  At the time this was filmed, OJ was just a former football player who had become a likable if not particularly versatile actor.  Watching it today in 2026 …. well, words land differently.

As the Bulls, the team is in trouble.  Their season opener against Baltimore is a disaster.  Yinessa is still out and demanding a new contract before he’ll play so, instead, he sits in the stands and watch as the backup quarterback throws interception after interception.  Later, he tells Teddy’s daughter, Jill Schrader (Leah Ayres), that all he wants to do is play football.  If that’s the case, why not sign your stupid contract and play football?  Seriously, when did Yinessa get so whiny?

There’s a brief sign of hope during the Baltimore game.  Dr. Death intercept a pass.  But then Dr. Death runs the wrong way and gets tackled behind the other team’s goal line.  A local sports commentator says that Dr. Death and Mad Dog (who blocked while Death was running the wrong way) are idiots.  He’s correct but he retracts his statement after Death and Dog threaten to destroy his car.

The Bulls need a quarterback.  Teddy goes behind Diane’s back and arranges a trade for arrogant Johnny Valentine, the coke-addled quarterback who Diane kicked off the team the previous season.  Diane gets angry but what can she do?  Teddy owns half of the team….

For now!

TD’s mistress shows TD some financial reports that show that Teddy has been making his money through insider trading.  TD is shocked.

If anyone knows about illegal….

It looks like Teddy might be in some trouble.  It also looks like Diane might be in some trouble as well because the other owners think that she’s failed to control the drug use on her team.  (They’re not incorrect.)  We’ll see what happens next week but I have a feeling that a change is coming.

And really, that change can’t come a minute too soon.  Even with the steroid storyline, this season has been a snoozefest so far.  Here’s hoping things perk up next week!