Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a special guest star is forced to appear on the show.

Episode 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 9th, 1999)

Jason and Scott are totally excited because their Uncle Charlie is coming to visit.  As they explain to Murray, Uncle Charlie has been in the Marines for 30 years and is a total badass.  Murray says that he tried to join the Marines but was classified as being “FW.”  “Freaking weirdo,” Murray says.  Peter then says that he doesn’t like it when Charlie comes to visit because Charlie always make fun of him for being too thin.  Really when this show started and Peter was supposed to be like a seriously cool surfer dude?

Anyway, Charlie shows up and he’s played by Dick Butkus.  After finishing up both Hang Time and Half-Nelson, I thought I was done with reviewing anything to do with Dick Butkus but nope, here he is in yet another Peter Engel-produced show!  I imagine that Butkus did this show as a favor to Peter Engel or maybe Butkus was just under a contract that he couldn’t get out of.  Still, it’s hard not to notice that Butkus does not appear to be particularly enthusiastic about appearing on Malibu CA.  While it’s true that Butkus always came across as being more of an ex-athlete than an actor (because, of course, that’s exactly what he was), Butkus still at least made an effort on Hang Time.  In Malibu, CA, Butkus seems to be struggling to stay awake.

Uncle Charlie is upset because the Marines want him to consider retirement.  Charlie works out his frustration by having Jason and Scott do calisthenics.  (He’s not their favorite uncle anymore!)  But then Charlie starts hanging out with Murray and Murray encourages Charlie to be a beach bum.  That sounds good to Charlie and I have to admit that I think Dick Butkus hanging out on the beach in a Hawaiian shirt with Murray actually had a lot of potential.  I’m as surprised as anyone that Murray has turned out to be this show’s saving grace but he has.  I guess we should be glad the Marines didn’t take him.

Charlie’s new beach-centric philosophy becomes a problem when Charlie finds himself being considered for a job at a military school.  The school doesn’t want beach bums!  Can Jason and Scott straighten Charlie out?  Will Jason ever manage to get through a scene without looking straight at the camera for his cue?  Who cares?

As for the B-plot, Traycee has tickets to the Beastie Boys.  She invites Stads and Sam to come to the concert with her.  Awwww, how nice!  “You’ve only got two tickets!” Stads snaps because, for some reason, the show has decided that Stads should always be in a bitchy mood.  (Remember when the show started and Stads was vaguely likable?)  Sam and Stads compete for the title of Traycee’s best friend.  Years later, Paris Hilton had a reality competition show based around the same concept.

This episode was dull.  When not even Dick Butkus can make your actors look good by comparison, you’ve got a problem.