Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs learn about the free press!

Episode 2.15 “Sweatgate Scandal”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 13th, 1977)

Gabe tells Julie about his uncle who was a hunter.  Apparently, he went out in the woods, ran into a beautiful woman, and asked her, “Are you game?”  She said yes and, as Gabe puts it, “He shot her.”

Yikes!

Meanwhile, at school, Epstein and Horshack are upset that the school newspaper is always “putting down the Sweathogs” and criticizing Freddie as a basketball player.  They’re especially upset because Mr. Kotter is the newspaper’s faculty advisor.  When Gabe arrives at class, he explains that he’s just the advisor, not the editor.  Gabe also says that he’s more interested in the front page story, about someone breaking into Mr. Lazarus’s office and stealing some of his confidential files.

“They’ll probably blame that on us,” Freddie says.

“No one’s going to blame this on you,” Gabe replies.

Of course, Woodman steps into the classroom and immediately demands to know who was responsible for “the Lazarus break-in.”  Woodman also demands to know where Gabe was during the break-in.  Gabe says that he was attending Woodman’s speech on “Self-defense with a number two pencil.”

Gabe decides that the Sweathogs need to make their voices heard so he offers to give extra credit to any Sweathog who works on the school newspaper.  He says that they can investigate the Lazarus break-in.

“Oh, it’ll be just like the All The President’s Men!” Horshack says.

“I get to be Robert Redford!” Barbarino declares.

“Well, I’m Dustin Hoffman,” Epstein replies, “I’m walking here!”

At the school newspaper, Freddie, Horshack, Barbarino, and Epstein find themselves working with two characters who appeared regularly during the first season, Judy Borden (Helaine Lembeck) and Todd Ludlow (Dennis Bowen).  Freddie writes the sports page.  Horshack reveals his gossip columnist skills by revealing that Judy’s had a nose job.  Barbarino and Epstein are investigative reporters and are assigned to investigate the Lazarus Break-In.  However, Woodman drops by the newspaper’s office and explains that Lazarus doesn’t want the break-in to be investigated.  “Cork it!” Woodman shouts.

After Horshack finds a note in his Twinkie, Epstein and Barbarino head to the Boys’s Bathroom, where they meet up with an informant named Deep Throat.  (“But you can call me Deep.”)  The informant, who is hiding in a stall, tells them to “Follow the liver.”

“What do I do when I catch it?” Barbarino asks.

Deep Throat goes on to explain that the break-in at Lazarus’s office is connected to another break-in at the school cafeteria.

We cut to the school at night.  Barbarino and Epstein have written their story but they need Gabe to look over it and approve it.  Gabe arrives at the school in tuxedo, explaining that, once a week, he and Julie play nightclub, in which he puts on a tuxedo and tells jokes while Julie puts on a nightgown and heckles him.  Sounds like fun!

The story suggests that the school has been buying liver substitute as opposed to real liver and someone has been pocketing the money that was saved.  When Gabe needs a little more proof, Epstein and Barbarino lead him out to the hallway, where Deep Throat awaits in the shadows.  Deep Throat confirms the story and then says, “I must go home and gargle.”  Could Woodman be Deep Throat?

The latest edition of the newspaper is published, with Barbarino and Epstein’s story on the front page.  When Woodman comes in the office and informs them that Lazarus is launching a full-scale investigation but that he’s not happy about the story.  Judy informs Woodman that she’s not to blame because she’s an honor’s student.

“I’ve never gotten a B!” Judy says.

“Neither have a I,” Horshack replies.

Woodman reveals that the cafeteria will now be serving real liver and then he lowers his voice and says, “You can call me Deep.”

MR. WOODMAN WAS DEEP THROAT!  Well …. yeah, who else would it be?  It’s not as if there’s a huge amount of characters on this show.

After Woodman leaves, Gabe asks Barbarino and Epstein if he’s ever told them about his Uncle Max, who once hired an investigative reporter.  Barbarino and Epstein groan and Gabe reveals that the investigative reporter discovered that Max’s wife was cheating on him.

This was a cute episode.  Barbarino and Epstein always make for a good team and any episode that allows Woodman to go nuts is worth watching.  Always follow the liver!

Next week: Gabe’s father comes to visit!