Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, Aphrodite comes to Fantasy Island, along with Marcia Brady!

Episode 3.18 “Aphrodite/Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde”

(Dir by Rod Holcomb, originally aired on February 2nd, 1980)

This week, Maureen McCormick returns to Fantasy Island!

The former Marcia Brady is playing Jennifer Griffin, the younger sister of renowned psychiatrist Melanie Griffin (Rosemary Forsyth).  Jennifer is dating a total lout named Ross Hayden (Don Stroud) and Melanie’s fantasy is to understand why women like her sister are irresistibly drawn to bad boys.

(Because bad boys are sexy rebels who don’t let anyone tell them what to do and just need the right woman to bring out their sensitive side.  It’s not that complicated!)

Roarke gives Melanie a vial of a blue serum that he claims is the same serum that Dr. Henry Jekyll used to transform himself into Edward Hyde.  Roarke warns Melanie that she should only drink two drops of the serum at a time.  Melanie does so and is transformed into the sexy Lilah, who dances up a storm at a nightclub and wins the attention of Ross, who is there with Jennifer.  Somehow, Jennifer does not realize that Liliah is her old sister, despite the fact that Lilah is essentially just Melanie wearing a wig and a little more makeup than usual.

Ross, however, does figure out that Melanie is actually Lilah.  Ross confronts Melanie in her cabin and forces her to drink the ENTIRE serum, as opposed to just the two drops.  Melanie is transformed into an growling old woman with bad teeth.  She ends up chasing Ross through the jungle, carrying a knife and growling at him until Mr. Roarke suddenly pops up and uses his magic powers to transforms Melanie back to her normal self.  Roarke suggests that Melanie should think about why she has so much anger towards men and …. wait a minute.  Does Roarke not realize that Ross basically just drugged Melanie and tried to force himself on her?  Why is it suddenly on Melanie to figure out why she doesn’t like men like Ross?

Anyway, Jennifer dumps Ross and she and Melanie leave Fantasy Island together.  We don’t see Ross leave Fantasy Island so I’m going to guess that he’s still somewhere in the jungle.

Speaking of the jungle, that’s where Professor Alan Blair (George Maharis) finds the lost temple of Aphrodite!

Alan’s fantasy is to find the perfect woman, who he believes to be Aphrodite despite the fact that anyone who is at all TV savvy knows that the perfect woman for Alan is actually his colleague, Minnie Hale (Belinda Montgomery).  No sooner does Alan find the temple than a statue of Aphrodite comes to life.  Alan and Aphrodite (played by Britt Ekland) make love all night and the next morning, Alan announces, “Aphrodite and I are getting married!”

However, it soon turns out that Aphrodite — much like that mermaid who tried to down John Saxon a few episodes ago — is all about destroying her lovers.  Soon, Alan is flying into a rage whenever anyone so much as looks at Aphrodite and Aphrodite is trying to convince Alan to stay with her in her temple forever.  Fortunately, Mr. Roarke shows up at the temple and announces that Aphrodite isn’t real because she’s just Alan fantasy.  Mr. Roake isn’t even phased by the lightening bolt that Aphrodite tosses at him.  Aphrodite is transformed back into a statue and Minnie reveals that her fantasy was that Alan would fall in love with her.

This was an extremely campy and silly episode, which also means that it was a lot of fun.  Between Britt Ekland inviting every man to come to her cave and Rosemary Forsyth chasing Don Stroud with a knife, this episode was a nonstop parade of weirdness and it’s hard not to wish that it had served as a template for every episode of Fantasy Island.  This week, the trip to the Island was definitely worth it!