Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, boxing comes to Fantasy Island!

Episode 3.10 “Class of 69/The Pug”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on November 24th, 1979)

Once again, this episode opens with no banter between Mr. Roarke and Tattoo.  Instead, Tattoo announces the arrival of the plane and rings the bell and then he and Mr. Roarke head down to the docks to meet their guests.  This is the third episode in a row without any pre-guest banter and I have to admit that I’m really missing it.

As for this week’s guests, they’re an improvement on last week’s rather forgettable offering.

Joey Lee (Gary Collins) is a former heavyweight boxer who comes to the Island with his son, Mitch (K.C. Martel).  Joey thinks that he’s just been hired to serve as a sparring partner for the world champion, Jackson Malone (Fred Williamson).  Jackson has a title defense coming up, right on the Island.  What Joey doesn’t know is that Mitch’s fantasy is for his father to have a shot at the championship.  When Malone’s opponent has to drop out of the fight, Joey is named as a substitute.  Mitch is excited, until he finds out that Joey is being pressured to take a dive in the third round.  Will Joey throw the fight?  And, even if Joey doesn’t, how will Mitch react to seeing his father getting pounded in the face by the world champion?  Will Mitch learn that his love for his father is more important than his father’s championship?

This fantasy was a typical Rocky rip-off, right down to Fred Williamson doing a credible Apollo Creed impersonation.  The problem, of course, is that the middle-aged and mild-mannered Gary Collins was in no way credible as a heavyweight boxer.  The fact that the world champion was played by an actual athlete didn’t help matters.  (It’s true that Carl Weathers, like Williamson, was also a football player before he played Apollo but Sylvester Stallone himself had been an amateur boxer before he played Rocky so it was easier to buy the idea of their match going the distance.)  In the end, I liked the fact that Mitch realized that his father’s health was more important than being champion.  The fantasy had a nice ending, even if it’s difficult to buy the set-up.

The other fantasy featured Adrienne Barbeau as Brenda Richards.  When she first arrives on Fantasy Island, Tattoo comments on how obese Brenda is, even though she’s only a few pounds overweight.  (Adrienne Barbeau wears a very unconvincing fat suit.)  Mr. Roarke explains that Brenda was humiliated at her high school prom when her date, arrogant jock Lance (Tim Thomerson), tricked her into undressing in the gym before then bringing in the entire senior class in to laugh at her.  (Yikes!)  The high school reunion is being held on Fantasy Island and Brenda’s fantasy is to get revenge.  Roarke gives her a potion which allows her to be thin for 48 hours.  (In reality, Barbeau just ditches the fat suit.)

At the reunion, Brenda tricks Lance into taking off his wig.  The entire senior class discovers that Lance is totally bald and they laugh and laugh.  Everyone is impressed with Brenda’s revenge except for Brenda’s old high school friend, Bernie Drexel (Fred Grandy, taking a break from The Love Boat).  Brenda sees that she was just as cruel to Lance as he was to her back in high school so she makes a public apology and encourages everyone to be kind to one another.  Barbeau then puts the fat suit back on.  Bernie says that Brenda will always be the most beautiful woman that he knows.  Awwwww!

I actually liked this fantasy, largely because of the chemistry between Barbeau and Grandy.  Plus, Tim Thomerson made a great arrogant jock.  I know that some people will say that this episode featured too many jokes about Brenda’s weight (especially considering the fact that, even before drinking the potion, Brenda was hardly obese) but I appreciated the fact that it had an anti-bullying message.  And if her romance with Bernie inspires Brenda to eat healthy and start getting regular exercise, all the better!

At the end of the episode, Mr. Roarke tells Tattoo that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  “To me,” Mr. Roarke says, “you are six feet two inches tall.”

Uhmmm….yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that ending.  It seems like the show, whether intentionally or not, is saying that Tattoo will be forever unloved because of his height.  Even without the pre-guest banter, Roarke is finding ways to passive-aggressively taunt his assistant.  That’s life on Fantasy Island.