The Daily Grindhouse: Revenge of the Zombies (dir by Steve Sekely)


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Last night, the Late Night Movie Crew and I watched the 1943 film, Revenge of the Zombies.

Revenge of the Zombies deals with the mysterious Dr. von Aldermann (John Carradine), who has a house on the Louisiana bayous and who is involved in weird, 1940s-style scientific experiments.  As is evident from his name (but not particularly from Carradine’s disinterested performance), von Aldermann is from Germany and his experiments are designed to create an army of zombies who will destroy American from within for the benefit for the Third Reich.  This is a pretty big deal and von Aldermann isn’t particularly subtle about his schemes but, as the film’s begins, nobody has figured out what’s going on.

I guess you can get away with anything on the bayous.

Von Aldermann’s wife Lila (Veda Ann Borg) has recently died but, thanks to the mad scientist, she’s still walking around Louisiana and leading an army of zombies.  Lila’s brother (Robert Lowery) shows up with a private investigator (Mauritz Hugo) and yet another mad scientist (Barry Macollum)  and they eventually figure out that something weird is happening.  With the help of von Aldermann’s secretary (Gale Storm), they try to thwart von Aldermann’s plans and keep the world safe for democracy.

There are a few good points about Revenge of the Zombies.  For one thing, the film is only 61 minutes long so the suffering is short.  As with any low-budget John Carradine horror film, Revenge of the Zombies is fun to watch with a group of snarky friends.  Historically, this film is significant for being one of the first zombie movies.  It’s always interesting to see how non-threatening zombies were in the days before George Romero and The Walking Dead.

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And then there’s the character of Jeff (Mantan Moreland), who is a chauffeur and who provides most of the film’s comic relief. It’s always difficult for contemporary audiences to deal with the racial attitudes displayed in the films and literature of the past.  On the one hand, Jeff is written as a complete and total stereotype and, as you listen to his dialogue, you’re painfully aware of the fact that the goal was to get audiences to laugh at him as opposed to with him.  On the other hand, Moreland is literally the only actor in the film who actually gives a good performance.  Even when delivering the most cringe-worthy of dialogue, Moreland does so with a conviction and commitment that holds your interest.  As you watch Revenge of the Zombies, you really don’t care what happens to most of the bland and interchangeable characters.  But you really do want Jeff to survive.

And, ultimately, you do take some comfort in that.  Moreland was given a role that, as written, was very demeaning but, in the end, Jeff is the only character that you care about.

As for the rest of Revenge of the Zombies, it’s short, it’s pretty bad but it’s not terrible, and you can watch it below!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBM9kxpkoU

What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #121: If There Be Thorns (dir by Nancy Savoca)


This afternoon, as I wrote my review of Text To Kill, I was also watching another Lifetime original film.  If There Be Thorns had been taking up space on my DVR for a week and I finally had time to watch it!

heather-graham-if-there-be-thornsWhy Was I Watching It?

If There Be Thorns originally aired last Sunday but I missed it because I was busy celebrating Easter with my family.  However, I made sure to set the DVR because If There Be Thorns is the second sequel to one of my favorite Lifetime films of all time, Flowers in the Attic.  The first sequel — Petals in the Wind — wasn’t that good.  So, I was curious to see whether or not If There Be Thorns would be an improvement.

What Was It About?

Many years have passed since the end of Petals In The Wind.  Christopher (Jason Lewis) and Cathy (Rachel Carpani) Dollanganger are now married and going by the name of Sheffield. In many ways, Christopher and Cathy seem to be living the perfect life.  They’re in love.  They’ve got two sons, Jory (Jedidiah Goodacre) and Bart (Mason Cook).  Chris is a doctor.  Cathy is a ballet teacher.  And nobody is aware that Cathy and Christopher are actually brother and sister and that they spent several of their formative years locked in an attic together.

Strangely enough, however, Cathy and Chris happen to live next door to the remains of their former prison, Foxworth Hall.  Bart even breaks into Foxworth Hall and finds the magazine that so intrigued Cathy and Chris when they were teenagers.

Eventually, a mysterious woman moves into Foxworth Hall and starts trying to ingratiate herself with Jory and especially Bart.  What Chris and Cathy don’t know is that the woman is none other than their mother, Corrine (Heather Graham).  When Corrine’s creepy servant John Amos (MacKenzie Gray) gives Bart the diary of his puritanical grandfather, Bart starts to go insane and even tries to kill his adopted sister, Cindy.  Meanwhile, Corrine seeks forgiveness for her past sins, Cathy and Chris continue to obsess over the attic, and John Amos … well, John Amos just wants to kill everyone.

What Worked?

Oh my God, this movie is insane!  As opposed to the slow-moving and bland Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns was a return to the over-the-top style that made Flowers In The Attic so much fun to watch.  This is one of those films that you just watch with your mouth open, wondering just how much more messed up one family can get.  Director Nancy Savoca brought a flair for the surreal to the film and Heather Graham did a good job bringing Corrine to eccentric life.

A special mention should be made of actor MacKenzie Gray, who gave a wonderfully menacing performance as the hulking John Amos.  It was a great performance, one that was perfectly right for the film’s baroque style.

What Did Not Work?

Who would have thought that, after everything they had been through, Cathy and Chris would grow up to be such boring people?  Hopefully, they’ll be more exciting in the fourth film in the series, Seeds of Yesterday.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

There really weren’t any.  I don’t do attics.  But that’s okay — it was still an entertainingly weird film!

Lessons Learned

The sins of the past cannot be escaped.  (Especially if you insist on living right next door to the place where all those sins happened in the first place…)

What Lisa Watched Last Night #120: Text to Kill (dir by George Erschbamer)


Last night, I watched the latest Canadian-made Lifetime original film, Text to Kill!

Lifetime-movie-Text-to-Kill-April-2015Why Was I Watching It?

I was watching both because it was on Lifetime and it was a Canadian production.  I love Lifetime and I love Canada.

What Was It About?

High school senior Taylor (Emily Tennant) has a lot to deal with.  It’s been two years since her father was killed in a tragic car accident.  Her overprotective mother (Dina Meyer) is a cop.  Her former best friend, Hannah (Stephanie Bennett), is now her enemy.  Her current best friend, Barbara (Sarah Desjardins), is dealing with a secret of her own.  And now, out of nowhere, she has started to get threatening texts from someone calling himself “Truth & Lies.”

Who could be behind the evil texts?  At first, Taylor suspects that it’s Hannah.  But could it be Brandon (Kurt Ostland), the school weirdo?  Or maybe it’s Cody (Keenan Tracy), Taylor’s enigmatic new boyfriend who somehow had her number before she ever gave it to him.  Or could it be someone else entirely?

What Worked?

Text to Kill was actually a pretty fun little thriller.  It kept me guessing, all of the actors gave good performances, and — perhaps most importantly — there was not a single character who didn’t live in a big and tastefully decorated house.  (One of the pleasures of watching movies on Lifetime is that you get to see how everyone decorates their home.)  Sarah Desjardins especially did a good job in the role of Barbara, bringing a bit of social relevance to what otherwise could have just been a standard Lifetime thriller.

What Did Not Work?

From the minute Text to Kill started, I knew that it was going to be one of those thriller that ended with a totally implausible twist, the type of twist that it’s best not to think too much about.  And that’s exactly what happened!  Unfortunately, the twist was revealed when there was still 15 minutes of film left to go.  That left the audience with 15 minutes to think about how little sense it all made.  If the film had waited until the final 7 minutes to reveal that twist, it wouldn’t have been an issue.  But 15 minutes is too long an amount of time to know about the twist without thinking about all the unanswered questions and issues raised by it.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I related to the character of Hannah and I especially admired the fact that she was less scared by the stalker and more just annoyed by all the inconvenience.

Lessons Learned

When your mom’s a cop, there’s nothing you can’t get away with.