Yes! We’re back! And let us all breathe a collective sigh of relief that the incredible full-length intro sequence has gone nowhere. It’s also full of straight-up awesome images. We see the various Sailor soldiers at war, and glimpses of the Dark Moon’s generals. It’s a pretty compelling sequence. I’m a fan. I had a lot of time to contemplate it, because Hulu is full of fail, and I think I had to watch 14 minutes of commercials before the episode resumed again. Apparently Lifetime has a new series called The Lottery, which seems to have the same premise as Children of Men.

Anyway. The cold open introduced us to Ami, who is drawn really beautifully in her Manga style. We all knew she was coming, but it feels very quick to have her arriving in episode 2. I’m already going to say that I’m a fan of the condensed format.

Just as importantly, it looks like we’re going to be introduced to some of our major villains: Jadeite is the cloaked figure we saw in Act I. He is, of course, the first of the Dark Kingdom’s four generals (Kings! according to the subtitles. Maybe that’s accurate! I don’t know!) to take on Sailor Moon. Giving him orders is Queen Beryl, who is herself the servant of a power still darker, and still yet unintroduced. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll get the full picture soon. Jadeite’s mission is to recover the legendary silver crystal, the same object that Tuxedo Mask, Luna the cat, and the monster in Act I all mentioned already. Seems like a big deal.

Meanwhile, Luna is concerned about Usagi. The whole ‘Sailor Moon’ thing is kind of important, but Usagi is still… well… Usagi. But Luna mentions once again that there are allies, and a princess who we have no clues whatsoever about the possible identity of whatsoever. Usagi is starstruck by the idea of joining forces with Tuxedo Mask, and with Sailor-V, the vigilante superheroine. Luna, meanwhile, is much more interested in Ami, a student at Usagi’s school. Ami is pretty much the best student ever, much to the chagrin of Usagi’s peers, including that annoying Umaro. However, whatever her other faults may be, Usagi is friendly, and quick to introduce herself to new girl Ami after a little help breaking the ice from Luna. Usagi is naturally charming, and when their hands touch, Ami sees a sudden vision, much like the ones Usagi herself has seen. Hmmm. Odd.

Before you know it, the two girls at the arcade, immersed in the Sailor-V video game. Usagi remains incompetent, but Motoki (Usagi’s pleasant friend, who works at the arcade) rumbles by. Both Motoki and Usagi are taken aback by Ami’s skill at the game, which she has evidently never played before (beginner’s luck! hah!). Ami scores a cool prize, and Usagi puts the machine on tilt until she gets one too. This scene is actually really cool, it’s a nice moment of bonding, where we definitely see Usagi and Ami become friends. It’s easy to like Usagi in this version of the anime; she has a natural charm, and is genuinely pleasant, and very little petulance seems to come through here. I really enjoyed it. Luna, of course, has other reasons to be interested in Ami…

… As does Jadeite’s monster, who (nobody was confused by this, right?) has apparently taken over Ami’s extracurricular studies.

During the break, I was reminded for (all numbers approximate) the 74,000th time how much I hate eSurance commercials. Also, how do I get targeted for Navy Federal Credit Union commercials? I have nothing but respect for the armed forces, but I didn’t serve… and uhh… neither did anyone else in my family. It’s been a while. I feel like the targeting has failed on this one.

Anyway. It seems that people are being sucked into the evil study program. Jadeite must be thrilled. Usagi spots Ami, studying away, and invites her to get some ice cream. Initially thrilled by the idea, Ami soon goes robotic and walks away. I’m sure someone will start to see the pattern in this “energy sucking” thing sooner or later. Oh wait, Usagi and Luna see the pattern, pretty much instantly! Yay! Usagi also has another random meet-up with the tall, handsome black-haired, could-he-possibly-be-Tuxedo-Mask dude on the streets. They have a weird connection. Please don’t make it weirder by reminding me what ages are involved.

Usagi is using a very modern-looking laptop (yay!) while she and Luna pretty much accidentally discover Jadeite’s evil brainwashing. Luna reveals that Usagi’s pen (she won it, by playing TILT, guys!) actually is another cool Sailor Moon toy. She can use it to disguise herself. She uses this convenient newfound power to infiltrate the academy where Ami has been studying… and looks like is now being hooked up to total brain-drain by Jadeite’s monster. Usagi intervenes… and then transforms into Sailor Moon. One observation I immediately have here is that Usagi seems like much less of a coward than I recall her being early in the original anime run. Her question to Luna about transforming is not: “Oh, do I have to?” or “Oh, I’m scared of this horrifying weirdo” but instead, “In front of Ami? Is that okay?” I think it’s a positive change! She can have flaws without having to be weak all the time!

Her transformation sequence still basically takes forever though I guess we’ll probably see some abbreviation once there are multiple Sailors doing their thing. Also she kind of goes right back to crying. In the context, it’s kind of funny; I won’t lie. Soon enough, Sailor Moon is overwhelmed, and threatened with death by the monster. This breaks Ami’s brainwashing, and she (with a little assist from Luna) becomes Sailor Mercury! Her transformation is the soul of brevity, by comparison. Hmm.

Sailor Mercury shows off her new powers to sow confusion, we get a roughly five second assist from Tuxedo Mask (no, really), and then Sailor Moon hurls the boomerang of death for the win, and Sailors Moon and Mercury are left to talk it out, while a defeated and annoyed Jadeite looks on. Usagi and Ami are now friends for realsies. …And then in a coda, we see a vision of fire, and a young woman with dark hair. I wonder who she could be?

The subsequent Kay Jeweler’s commercial just makes me mad. The Starburst minis commercial does make me desperately crave some Starburst though. I guess that’s all for this week. Join me next time, as I continue to worship at the church of Sailor Moon Crystal, aka the greatest thing to happen to me this year, as I strive to continue to be in love with a show that I already saw once before.