This year, we can look forward to two royalty-based films being released just in time to get some Oscar attention.
Unfortunately, neither one of them is about my favorite royal in-law, Pippa “It’s My Sister’s Wedding And I’ll Wear White If I Want To” Middleton.
Instead, Diana will star Naomi Watts as Diana, the late Princess of Wales and has already managed to inspire some amazingly negative reviews in the UK.
Meanwhile, Grace of Monaco, will star Nicole Kidman as the legendary Grace Kelly. Judging from the trailer below, Grace of Monaco looks like it could at least be trashy fun. If nothing else, I’m looking forward to seeing it for the costumes and the decor.
Through the Shattered Lens 
I’m genuinely puzzled: why would an American, any American, admire a member of the British monarchy, especially when America was built on a sturdy foundation of telling the Poms to stick their Union Jack where the sun doesn’t shine?
I don’t understand that world’s fascination with the Middleton brood. Pray tell, what makes them any better than the Hiltons and the Ka-whatchamacallems? Kate the Flake is basically the world’s biggest gold-digger, and Pip the Drip is beneficial/guilty by association. Say what you will about the Hilton brats, but at least their wealth was the product of their great grandfather, Conrad Hilton, hotel tycoon extraordinaire. Through hard work and enterprise, Conrad Hilton built the most recognisable hotel chain on the planet. Granted, he was probably, like many noted tycoons, a union busting bastard who shafted more than his fair share of people, and exploited ethnic minorities by taking full advantage of Jim Crow wage disparity laws, bought up large gobs of land that might have been better off back in the hands of Native Americans, and probably built a few of his hotels on the ashes of demolished slums that were vacated when not even the roaches could afford the rent any longer.
Still, does that make Conrad Hilton and the bratty kids and grandkids and great grandkids who have benefitted from his wealth any worse than the British Royal family?
The British Empire was built upon chasing people from their land, charging unjustly high taxes, persecuting the poor, invading foreign nations and stealing their loot, and hundreds of years later, Chuck and Willy and Harry and Kate and Pip shares in the filthy spoils of centuries of unimpeded imperialism.
I’m also not sure why so many men (and women, who inexplicably covet them) have elevated the Middleton girls to Venus-like status…well, actually, I DO know the reason why. Fame and money can create the illusion that are lot of pretty ordinary people are actually something special. I’ve heard men give an apathetic sigh, and at times be downright insulting, to women a LOT more attractive than the Sisters Middleton. But those are the same fellahs who would sell their own mothers for the chance to shine Pip the Drip’s shoes. Hey, I’m Australian, and I couldn’t give two shits for the Royals. Again, say what you will about the Hiltons, they’re as vapid as they come, but the difference between them and the Middletons is…? Also, even though they’re pretty much retarded, at least the Hiltons aren’t the product of a long line of inbreeding.
As for Nickers playing the role of Grace Kelly, I think I’ll stick to watching “Rear Window”.
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Mark, I think part of the reason why Americans are fascinated by the royal family is because — as a result of the American revolution — we don’t actually have to pay taxes to support the royal family nor do we really have to deal with the consequences of any of their actions. For us, they’re just characters who occasionally appear in US Weekly. We get all the galmour of royalty without having to deal with any of the consequences.
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Well, the key word is “occasionally”. A few months ago, all you ever heard and read about in the Australian mainstream media was the impending birth of yet another addition to the royal brood. I cannot possibly overstate how much press coverage it received. Not even the birth of Jesus Christ would have garnered this much publicity…but of course, Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication. To be completely honest, I actually found the whole affair rather tragic. It’s like the whole Obama thing. People are so easily swept up in the hype, when there are much more important things in the world.
As for the “consequences” of which you speak, I’m not certain what those might be. The royals are pretty uninvasive unless someone’s getting hitched, pregnant, or the Queen is paying a visit (something which I think she does about once a generation). What I do find interesting is that there are many people even in England itself who believe that it’s time to do away with the royals. Personally, I’m all for the discontinuation of the monarchy, all monarchies, for that matter. There’s plenty of glamour and glitz in the world already without the royals, and I’ve said it before and will say it again: the Middleton sisters are for people who consider themselves “above” obsessing about the Hiltons and the Ka-whatchamacallems.
Of course, we’re about to be walloped with yet another film that fetishises royalty, “Diana”, the story of another horrendously overrated individual. Even worse, it stars an Australian, so I’m going to be hearing about this crap ad nauseum. Seriously, you do your best to avoid it, but it’s constantly shoved under your schnoz.
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