10 | November | 2011 | Through the Shattered Lens

So, here I was all excited and everything because I had an excuse to start another one of my never-ending polls and what happens? Less than 24 hours after I set up my poll asking you who you think should replace Eddie Murphy as the host of next year’s Oscar ceremony, Billy Crystal tweets that he’s got the job.

Seriously?

They couldn’t just leave us in suspense for an extra day or two?

Anyway, Billy Crystal isn’t really a surprising choice as people were mentioning his name from the minute Murphy stepped down. However, he is a rather boring choice and I guess that the show’s producer, Brian Grazer, has decided not to do the whole “edgy” thing. Which is probably a good thing since the Academy Awards version of edgy tends to be … well, it’s hard to say what it is but it’s distinguished by smoothed corners and a definite lack of sharp edges.

I guess what I’m saying is that the Oscars are a big round table and apparently, Billy Crystal is going to be King Arthur next year. Though, according to our poll, you would have much rather seen either myself or the Muppets holding court.

While I was off celebrating my birthday yesterday and my fellow editors were putting together Lisa Day here on the Shattered Lens (and I have to say — thank you and I love you all!), some really silly and stupid things were going on as far as next year’s Oscar ceremony is concerned. Basically, to recap, notoriously bad director Brett Ratner was hired to produce the upcoming Oscar telecast because — well, I’m not sure why. I mean, doesn’t Brett Ratner kinda represent everything about the film industry that the Academy usually tried to pretend doesn’t exist? Anyway, Ratner convinced Eddie Murphy to host the show. Ratner then apparently commented that “rehearsing is for fags.” Naturally, this led to a lot of people getting upset, even though none of them were apparently upset by all the sexist and homophobic comments Ratner made before he was hired to produce the ceremony. Ratner then stepped down as producer, which was expected. What wasn’t expected was that Eddie Murphy would follow by stepping down as host.

So, now, Brian Grazer (who is probably about as Hollywood establishment as you can get) is producing the show and looking for a new host. Now, there’s been some speculation that the job might go to Billy Crystal or maybe even Robin Williams (and all I can say to that is “Please God — no!”). Myself, I’m hoping that they surprise us by going with someone totally unexpected — like maybe Joel McHale or the nosy kittens waiting to be fed. Or maybe even me!

So, with all that in mind, who do you think would make the perfect Oscar host? Vote once, vote often.