Oh my God, yesterday sucked.
First off, I was supposed to be seeing Capt. America but when we were standing in line to get our tickets, I started to feel dizzy and then I kinda sorta ended up fainting. Which I know sounds like something serious but, to be honest, I faint all the time. I’m like a Tennessee Williams heroine that way. It’s no big deal except to my sister and my boyfriend who decided that instead of going to the movies, I should go home, lay down, rest, and “take care of myself.” so, I told them that they were crazy and that I was perfectly fine and they were like, “You’re so full of it, Lisa Marie,” and then I stood up to show them how healthy I was and I guess I didn’t put my feet on the ground correctly because suddenly, I was going down again and anyway, long story short, I ended up being dragged back to the house.
And then once I got back home, one of my longtime twitter followers suddenly decided to unfollow me because apparently, I haven’t been a good enough friend to him. Which I found interesting considering that I had just spent the past week literally holding his hand while he attempted to get over not one but two girls who never liked him in the first place. So, yeah, learning that despite my best efforts, I’m apparently just a self-centered bitch who foolishly uses twitter to talk about what I want to talk about as opposed to devoting all of my time to helping some asshole deal with problems that a 12 year-old should be able to freaking handle, well, that kinda sorta hurt my feelings just a little bit. (Contrary to popular opinion, redheads with big boobs actually do have feelings. Go figure!)
However, things are not a complete bust. First off, as I type this, I’m watching the old episode of Degrassi where Emma and Alex have that huge fight in the school hallway while Paige and Spinner skip school and Ashley gets dressed up like Elvis and then Mr. Simpson finds out his cancer is in remission. I love that episode. And, along with watching Degrassi, I’m also putting together the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.
Things are looking up already.
1) Last House On The Left (1972)
Yep, that’s the kind of mood I’m in. I’m starting things off with the trailer for the evil grindhouse/drive-in movie to end all evil grindhouse/drive-in movies, the original Last House on the Left. Why? Because, as the trailer tells us, the road leads to nowhere…
2) Destroy All Monsters (1968)
If I do get out of my present funk, it’ll be due to trailers like this one. It’s just so goofy!
Erin claims that actual cheerleader camp was nothing like the cheerleader camp in this trailer.
This Canadian action film stars Tommy Lee Jones, who was also apparently in Capt. America. Not that I would know.
5) The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)
Believe it or not, I’ve got this one on DVD and this is one of those films that looks a lot more extreme in the trailer than it actually is. The film itself is a collection of bad performances, juvenile humor, and silly gore effects. The trailer looks a lot more sick than the actual film, which is why it’s a classic of grindhouse advertising.
This is yet another trailer from the fertile mind of Larry Cohen. It’s alive! What is it? It can either be your dream or your NIGHTMARE! Much like me.
Through the Shattered Lens 
I read that first comment as “I started to feel dizzy and then I kinda sorta ended up farting” and started giggling uncontrollably.
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I didn’t see “Last House On The Left” until last year. I was surprised at how bad a film it is, considering its reputation. Even the music is bad. The actors portraying the family do a good job, but those portraying the antagonists, not so much. I can see how the subject matter and certain scenes would have been “shocking” at the time. but viewed today, the film is really awkward. I should have watched “Destroy All Monsters”.
It was nice of the producers of “The Undertaker And His Pals” to warn people who are upset or affected by scalpel-slashing, arm-twisting, axe-hacking motorcycle maniacs. Fortunately, I like people like that. I also liked how the guy in the picture reacts in horror to the next scene (which I witnessed, having elected to disregard the warning). This film is so frightening, it actually scare photographs!
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lol, oddly enough, I had the opposite reaction Last House as far as the actors are concerned — I thought that David Hess and Fred Lincoln were very effective as the killers but that the family — especially Gaylord St. James as the father — were just awful. The DVD I own (there’s a few different ones out there) comes with a commentary track from Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham, in which Craven admits that — as is obvious from the actual film — he had absoluitely no idea how two teenage girls would talk to each other. The track is interesting to listen to if just because Craven and Cunningham comes across as two such dorky, all-American (or all-Canadian in Cunningham’s case) guys that you’re like, “Hmmm…and you guys revolutionized exploitation film.” That said, to appreciate Last House, you have to consider it in the context of 1972 as opposed to 2011. I mean, we’re pretty used to seeing guts ripped out of bodies at this point (it was even casually featured in Scream 4 and few really semed to notice) but it was still a bit more unusual when Last House was first made.
What’s odd about Undertaker is that, along with all the sadistic violence, you get some very corny humor and a lot of characters who seem like they wandered over from the set of Mad Men. Undertaker is a film in which the hero’s secretary — Miss Lamb — is murdered in one scene and, in the next scene, the hero just happens to step in to a diner where the special of the day is “Leg of Lamb.” (I’m not kidding, either. That’s exactly what happens.) Our hero — who is not that smart, I should explain — goes on to hire several more secretaries, including a Ms. Poultry. Guess what the special is at the diner the day after she’s hired? Yes, it’s just that type of film.
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I was thinking mainly of the women in the family, as far as the decent acting goes. I don’t remember Dad being so bad. Perhaps he was. And maybe the villains seemed so hokey due to the direction more than the actors’ ability. But I doubt I’ll watch the film again to see. But I may actually watch “Destroy All Monsters,” 🙂
My comment was about the quality of the film, not the shock-value and the context of the time. It just seems like a bad film. There were some great horror films in and prior to 1972, but this ain’t one of them. All it seemed to have going for it was its depiction of depravity, for whatever that was worth. Direction and acting? Hmmmm…To be fair, Craven was young. But I don’t really like his later stuff, either, though it was certainly more polished than this.
I have heard that Craven is a really nice guy, and fun to work with. I guess I’m just not in tune with his type of horror.
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I have yet to see Destroy All Monsters but doesn’t it look fun? 🙂
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I think you misheard me. That trailer is the most accurate depiction of cheer camp that I’ve ever seen. We were all about trying to kill the mascot.
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I always wondered why you had Guy Fedele’s head in your backpack. 🙂 (That’s right, girl. I went there.)
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