What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Tonight #75: Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo (dir. by Terry Ingram)


Earlier tonight, the Snarkalecs and I watched the latest SyFy original film — Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo.

Why Were We Watching It?

It’s a little known fact but several of the Snarkalecs — including me — are either from or live in the great state of Texas.  So, seriously — how could we not watch a SyFy film that takes place in San Antonio?

As well, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo is just a brilliant title!  Of course, with a great title comes great responsibility…

What Was It About?

It’s Cinco De Mayo in San Antonio and you know what the means!  That’s right — thousands of chupacabras are coming across the border and killing all that they see.  Can DEA agent Carlos (played by Erik Estrada) save both his children and the city of San Antonio?  Carlos and a private army made up of bored DEA agents and gangbangers (who, we’re told, are “down for the hood”) end up locking themselves in the Alamo and making a last stand against the forces of goat sucking evil.

What Worked?

Like the best original SyFy films, Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo is the epitome of the type of film that’s fun to watch with a group of friends.  The acting is over-the-top, the chupacabras are cute, and even the scenes were Estrada is obviously just sitting on a motorcycle in front of a green screen have an odd charm to them.  The film had a definite telenovela feel to it and that’s always a good thing.

Even though the majority of the film was obviously shot somewhere other than San Antonio (I’m guessing Canada), I still enjoyed seeing stock footage of the Riverwalk.

(Seriously, I love the Riverwalk!  While I’ve never lived in San Antonio, I’ve visited enough times that I have a lot of very good and very romantic memories of walking along the river.)

Finally, on a personal note, I have to say that the Snarkalecs were on fire tonight!  Within fifteen minutes of the film starting, we had made it a trending topic on twitter.  Some of the funniest tweets I have ever read were the result of us watching Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo.

What Did Not Work?

If any film called for Danny Trejo cameo, it was this one.  Unfortunately, Trejo was nowhere to be seen.  Maybe he’ll show up for the sequel…

 It took about 90 minutes for Estrada and his private army to reach the Alamo and when they did, it turned out to be a totally fake Alamo.  In all fairness, I can not imagine any circumstances that would have led to the Daughters of the Texas Republic agreeing to allow this film to be shot within the Alamo but, speaking as a Texan, I was disappointed at just how poorly this faux Alamo compared to the real thing.

(Also, unlike the rather flamboyant tour guide featured in this film, an actual Alamo tour guide would never wear a gigantic coonskin cap.)

On a related note, as much as I appreciated the fact that the film featured the Riverwalk, it was still hard not to feel that the filmmakers essentially shot about 5 minutes of footage in San Antonio before then going up to Canada to finish the rest of the film.  As a result, the film featured a lot of people saying, “Remember the Alamo!” and random things in Spanish but ultimately, it did not feel like a Texas film at all.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

Like the characters in this film, I’m down for my hood.

Lessons Learned

I need to revisit San Antonio sometime soon.

Chupacabra vs. The Alamo - 2013

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3 responses to “What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched Tonight #75: Chupacabra Vs. The Alamo (dir. by Terry Ingram)

  1. Yes, I too love Riverwalk (and I’ll keep my other comments about the rest of San Antonio in my pocket…)
    :)

  2. No references to “CHiPs”? No jokes about Erik Estrada’s affiliation with the Psychic Friends Network? If he were so prescient, why couldn’t he see his own career hitting the skids? C’mon, these things ought to write themselves.

    Anyway, what in the world is a Chupacabra?

    • A chupacabra is a scary little monster that lives in Puerto Rico and drinks the blood of goats. Chupacabra means goatsucker in Spanish. Some people, of course, claim that the Chupacabras is actually a mythological creature (like Bigfoot or the Fouke Monster). There was some excitement a few years ago when a farmer in Texas claimed to have shot and killed a Chupacabra but the creature just turned out to be a coyote with mange.

      As for Erik Estrada, I mostly know him as being that kinda boring guy who was on the first or second season of The Surreal Life.

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