Veronica’s Video | Through the Shattered Lens

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Yay! Janine is finally back at the school, where she belongs. Hopefully, we won’t have to spend any more time with those district dorks. Considering how much I disliked the whole district storyline, I’m kind of thankful this is a shortened season. I don’t know I could have handled 20 episodes of Janine working for the district.

Plus, it looks like Ava Fest was a huge success! Congrats to all!

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Blind Date (YouTube)

On Saturday evening, I watched an episode featuring a guy named Igor who had a terrible date. I wonder if, back in 1999. Igor had any idea his bad date would still be available for viewing in 2024.

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will be dropping in about 90 minutes.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

On Sunday night, I watched last week’s episode of Law & Order. I have to admit that I cringed at first, especially when it appeared that the villain was going to be a Republican congressman. Law & Order is always at its worse when it tries to deal with partisan politics and the stuff with the congressman was painfully heavy-handed. (One can tell that it’s been a while since anyone in the writer’s room talked to an actual Republican.) Fortunately, the show’s signature twist was that the congressman had nothing to do with it and the murderer was a Ukranian refugee who claimed to be suffering from PTSD. Naturally, Maroun wasn’t sure if the woman should be prosecuted because she had family members who suffered from the same thing. Price told Maroun to stop crying and do her job and good for him. Anyway, this episode turned out to be stronger than I was expecting. It was another entry in what has, so far, been a pretty good season.

On Thursday night, I watched the latest episode of Law & Order. A chef, who had previously been wrongly convicted of rape and murder, was killed by someone. His attorney was arrested but then Nolan started to have doubts as to whether or not the guy was actually guilty. It turned out that it was actually the attorney’s wife who committed the murder. This episode was obviously designed to try to make Nolan into a more likable figure. (“Nolan Price does it again!” Shaw happily said at one point.) But the whole thing just fell kind of flat. The only moment that really worked for me was when D.A. Baxter told Nolan to stop whining and do his job.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

The Masters (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

Congratulations to Scottie Scheffler! And yes, I do enjoy watching golf. I like the peaceful beauty of the courses.

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

New Sounds (Night Flight Plus)

This was a music video show that aired in the late 80s, I believe. I watched an episode on Friday night. Some of the music was good and some of it was kind of forgettable. Such is life.

Our America With Lisa Ling (YouTube)

On Saturday, I watched an episode of this old news program in which Lisa Ling interviewed parents whose children had been taken away from them. Lisa Ling is one of those reporters who has a tendency to do a fake “journalist voice” whenever she speaks and it kind of made it difficult for me to treat the episode with the seriousness it deserved.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Veronica’s Video (YouTube)

I sacrificed my eyesight to review Veronica’s Video.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Veronica’s Video, which was produced by UPN in 1998. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

I sacrificed my eyesight to review this show.

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Don Scardino, originally aired on …. well, we’ll get to that.)

Aspiring filmmaker Gary Gluckin (Matt Champagne) needs a day job so he walks into a trashy, nearly deserted video store and tells the owner, Nick (Cobin Bernsen), that he wants to work for him. Nick is an angry man who chain smokes and rolls around in a wheelchair because his wife ran him over while she was leaving him. Nick is also Gary’s father.

Nick is only willing to hire on a Gary probationary basis and he explains that Gary will be competing for a full time job with Chandra (Shishir Kurup), a Sikh who is an expert on Indian films. Gary and Nick make fun of Chandra’s ethnicity, religion, and name. Chandra, meanwhile, enforces a strict policy of only allowing 21 year-olds into the porn section of the video store. He kicks out a 51 year-old. That’s the type of show this was.

Occasionally dropping by the video store is Mary Sue Henderson (Julie Benz) who works for her grandmother and who wears an Alice In Wonderland costume that Gary is constantly looking down. Mary Sue is always bright and cheerful. When she talks to Gary, Gary goes all mush-mouthed because Gary is a loser. Gary also thinks that he may have seen Mary Sue’s picture on the cover of one of the porn videos that is in the store.

Nick eventually tortures Gary by forcing him to stand outside in 116-degree heat. At one point, Greg gets beaten up by someone who is played by Greg Grunberg. Frustrated, Gary announces that he doesn’t need the job and he’ll just move in with his mother. Nick replies that Gary’s mother wants nothing to do with him. Wow, what a fun comedy.

This is, without a doubt, one of the worst shows that I’ve ever watched. This show was so bad that the pilot didn’t even get a pity showing. UPN, which was famous for being the home for terrible and misguided shows, didn’t even want to mess with this thing. Why is this show so bad? The humor is not particularly funny, the laugh track in intrusive, and the video store itself is so dirty and ugly that it’s hard to believe that it has ever had a customer. Corbin Bernsen, being a veteran actor, at least manages to suggest that there’s a heart underneath Nick’s rough exterior. The rest of the cast is just bland.

I should also admit that I watched this on YouTube and the upload was one of the worst that I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised I still have my eyesight after being confronted with this:

And this:

I had 20/60 eyesight when I started this show. I’m worried about what it is now.

Anyway, needless to say, only one episode of Veronica’s Video was produced. And that episode probably should have been left in a landfill somewhere, rather than uploaded to YouTube.