Trace Eubanks | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This episode …. ugh.

Episode 3.24 “Ghost Rider”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on April 1st, 1987)

This episode was …. bad. It was really bad. I know that Highway to Heaven is a show with its own unique style and that it’s necessary to sometimes set aside cynicism and just accept the show in all of its sincere and earnest glory but I just couldn’t do it with this episode.

Birdy Belker (Didi Conn) is a ghost writer. She writes the Roger Bolt spy novels, which are then credited to the glamorous Natasha Gudonov (Victoria Carroll). Roger was a real spy. He died years ago but Birdy still has a bit of a crush on him. Birdy is also Jonathan and Mark’s latest assignment. Jonathan decides to just wait for her outside of her apartment and introduce himself as being an angel.

“RAPE!” Birdy yells before then spraying Mark with a breath freshener that she mistook for mace.

Jonathan brings Birdy’s dead plants to life, proving that he’s an angel. Birdy goes from being terrified to inviting two strangers into her apartment. Birdy is single and her parents are giving a hard time about her lack of a boyfriend. Mark suggests that Birdy buy Roger’s old car, which is set to be auctioned off. Birdy and her father (Bobby Baum) go to the auction with Jonathan and Mark. Uh-oh, shady Boris (Adam Gregor) wants the car as well! However, Boris has to call his boss to see if he should bid more than $20,000. Jonathan stares at the phone until it explodes. Birdy wins the auction! She has the car!

(Destroying someone’s property does not seem like proper angel behavior, to be honest.)

It turns out that the car is haunted by the ghost of Roger Bolt (Warwick Sims). Jonathan insinuates that Roger is actually in Purgatory and helping out Birdy is his final chance to make it into Heaven. That’s …. okay, I guess. The problem is that Roger’s ghost doesn’t show up until 30 minutes into the episode. A ghost is a pretty big plot point to introduce that late in the game. Birdy is in love with Roger, up until she realizes that he’s a cad. Still, Roger redeems himself but helping Birdy outsmart the two spies who want his old car. Birdy becomes a celebrity, Roger goes to Heaven, and Birdy meets her new neighbor, a nerdy guy who seems perfect for her. But then, as Mark and Jonathan are heading to their next assignment, Roger’s car starts and we hear Roger’s voice. “Bolt, Roger Bolt.” Okay, so did he go to Heaven or not? Or is he still a ghost? What’s going on!?

My honest guess is that this was meant to be a backdoor pilot, one that would have featured Birdy and Roger’s ghost getting involved in espionage on a weekly basis. That’s really the only way that this oddly paced episode makes any sort of sense. Tonally, it had nothing in common with any other episode of Highway to Heaven that I’ve seen. It doesn’t work, largely because Birdy is an amazingly annoying character and Roger was a less than interesting take on the Bond stereotype.

This episode was definitely a misfire. Luckily, the season ends next week with an episode featuring Leslie Nielsen. That should be great! It certainly can’t be any worse than this one.

This week, Jonathan and Mark do their bet to save the world from nuclear annihilation. Good for them!

Episode 2.20 “Summit”

(Dir by Dan Gordon, originally aired on March 5th, 1986)

Maria Malinoff (Eda Reiss Merlin), a Russian immigrant, is dying. Before she dies, she wants to see her son one last time.

The good news is that her son, Andrey Malinoff (Nehemiah Persoff), is currently in the United States. Even better, Mark and Jonathan have been assigned to let Andrey know that his mother wants to see him and to convince him to set aside his bitterness and see her.

The bad news is that Andrey is now the deputy premier of Russia and the reason why he’s in the United States is to attend a summit with the President (voiced by Frank Welker). Andrey is a communist who doesn’t believe in angels or American exceptionalism!

Mark and Jonathan are able to get jobs as waiters for the summit. (It helps that there is another angel working at Camp David.) They are even able to get Andrey away from his handlers long enough to take him to see his mother. Andrey is convinced that Jonathan and Mark are with the CIA and their whole “mission” is a trick to keep him from attending the summit. Mark dislikes Andrey because he’s a Russian and he think his country is superior to America. Jonathan dislikes Andrey because he’s abrasive and refuses, at first, to accept that Maria is his mother.

Eventually, though, Maria starts to talk about what Andrey was like as a child. Realizing that she is who she says she is, Andrey sits with his mother and talks to her until she passes away. Then, he returns to the summit a (slightly) changed man. He may still be a communist but at least now he knows the meaning of the word compassion. Mark takes a few minutes to ask Andrey and the President to work out their differences, explaining that everyone in the world is scared of nuclear war. The President, who is heard but not seen, is touched by Mark’s plea and agrees to have a long conversation about peace with Andrey.

Having apparently brought about world peace, Mark and Jonathan head off to their next assignment.

This episode — which was one of the few to be directed by neither Michael Landon nor Victor French — just felt silly, especially when compared to the strong episodes that came before it. Nehemiah Persoff does a lot of blustering in the role of Andrey but he never convinces us of the character’s emotions or his transformation. As an anti-communist, I enjoyed listening to Mark insult the Russians but otherwise, this well-meaning episode was a definite misfire.