I am so freaking depressed right now.  Why?  Because, as I sit here typing this, I am about to embark on my last weekend as a carefree, hedonistic young woman.  That’s right.  I’ve kinda sort got a birthday (bleh) on November 9th.  Yes, I’m a Scorpio.  Are you surprised?  Anyway, getting older means getting boring and that really sucks and I’ll just leave it at that.  Let’s see if a new edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers can cheer me up.

1) Survive (1976)

From director Rene Cardona, Jr. comes “the most shocking episode in human survival!”  This is why I hate to fly.  Well, that and intrusive security measures… (True story: when me and my sisters went to Italy, all four of us were patted down and frisked by the grabby fascists at DFW and it was such a demeaning experience that I ended up crying during the entire subsequent flight.)

2) The Hideous Sun Demon (1959)

It’s thermo-dynamic horror from outer space!  Sometimes, I wish I had been born in 1942 or ’43 so that I could have had the experience of seeing trailers like this every single day but then again, I’d also probably be really old right now.  Plus, my name would probably be something like Vivien because I like to think that my mom would have named me Vivien Leigh.

3) The Asphyx (1973)

This trailer is about death, which is what I’ll be one step closer to on the 9th.

4) The Wraith (1986)

Apparently, even Charlie Sheen was young once.

5) The Fury (1979)

I recently watched this one on DVD and I have to give this trailer an aging nod of approval because it actually makes the film look kinda sorta exciting.  It’s actually one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen.

6) Cat People (1982)

Watching this trailer makes me wish I could turn into a cat and live forever.

Well, I’m sorry to say that the movies cannot stop the march of time, regardless of how much I wish they could.  But at least they do make my time here just a little bit more bearable.