Killer Mermaid!

That’s a great title, isn’t it?  Originally, the title of this 2014 film from Serbia was Nymph.  However, by the time it reached Netflix, it had become Killer Mermaid.  And really, everything you need to know about this movie is right there in that title.  It’s a movie about a mermaid that kills people.  If you have a strong desire to see a movie about a mermaid that kills people, Killer Mermaid is for you.  If you don’t have that desire, then you’re probably not going to be reading this review.

Killer Mermaid takes place in Montenegro.  Two American tourists — Kelly (Kristina Klebe) and Lucy (Natalie Burn) — are visiting their old friend Alex (Slobodan Stefanovic) and his girlfriend Yasmin (Sofija Rajovic).  (Just in case we forget that Kelly and Lucy are Americans, Lucy wears American flag shorts.)  At first, they do typical Americans-in-Europe things.  Kelly attempts to confront some past childhood trauma.  Lucy sleeps with Alex and then worries about Yasmin finding out.  They meet and flirt with Bobban (Dragan Micanovic), a local who looks a lot like Lost‘s Henry Ian Cusick.

And then they make plans to spend a day on a nearby island and exploring an abandoned old military fortress.  They do this despite a local fisherman, Niko (Franco Nero!), telling them that it’s a terrible idea because the fortress was built by evil Nazis and anyone who explores it is destined to die a terrible death.

“Ha!”  the tourists say, “We’re too young and American to die in Montenegro!  Now, let’s go to the remote island with some guy that we’ve only known for 12 hours…”

Ignoring Niko, they go out to the island and … well, you can probably guess what happens.  There’s a mysterious caretaker (Miodrag Krstovic) wandering around the fortress.  He’s protecting something very important to him and, if that means he has to kill some tourists, so be it.

What is the caretaker protecting?  Well, you can probably guess from the title of the film.  There’s a mermaid (Zorana Kostic Obradovic, who has a fantastically evil smirk) living in the waters around the island and she’s a killer.  Whenever she sings, Alex, Bobban, and the caretaker all go into a state of zombiefication.  As women, Kelly, Lucy, and Yasmin are all immune to the mermaid’s song but it really doesn’t matter because, even with that advantage, no one is anywhere close to being smart enough to survive a horror movie.  Just the fact that they ended up on that island in the first place should tell you all you need to know about the intelligence of the characters in Killer Mermaid…

But that’s okay because, with the exception of Niko and maybe Bobban (depending on whether or not you had a crush on Lost‘s Desmond Hume), you really don’t care enough about any of these characters to get upset over their impending doom.  This film is all about the killer mermaid.  It takes her a while to show up and she doesn’t get any lines but she still dominates the entire film.  Say what you will about the script and some of the performances, the filmmakers went to the trouble to give us a believable and viscous mermaid.

Killer Mermaid works far better than it should.  Yes, it’s pretty much your standard killer monster movie but the film looks good and the mermaid is an impressive monster.  While it may never make sense for everyone to have headed off for that island in the first place, the film still makes good use of the atmospheric location.  Add to that, Killer Mermaid delivers exactly what it promises.

And, of course, you’ve got Franco Nero as Niko!  Now, I have to admit that I didn’t recognize Franco when he first showed up.  He’s made up to look as weather-beaten as possible and Nero downplays his trademark charisma, playing Niko as a haunted and emotionally withdrawn man.  To be honest, it’s a far better performance than you would probably ever expect to see in a film called Killer Mermaid but, then again, that’s always been the case with Nero.  He’s always good, no matter how bad some of his movies may occasionally be.  As I’ve said in the past, any movie can be saved by a random Franco Nero appearance and that’s certainly the case with this one.

(That said, it’s hard to imagine that any film will ever top the exhilarating oddness of Franco Nero’s cameo as Jesus in The Visitor.)

That’s Killer Mermaid for you.  It’s exactly what you think it is but, with that in mind, it’s entertaining enough.

And it’s currently available on Netflix!