Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

I was a lot happier before I remembered this show existed.

Episode 2.13 “Lisa’s Ex”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 29th, 2000)

No, not my ex!  This episode is about Lisa, the fictional character’s, ex….

You know, it’s really frustrating that this show’s most annoying character happens to have the same name as me.  I want to complain about her but, at the same time, I feel an instant bond to anyone named Lisa, including fictional characters on terrible sitcoms.

That said, Lisa — the show’s Lisa — really is the worst.  In this episode, her ex-boyfriend, a basketball played named Troy Douglas — just happens to stop by the restaurant and see her.  Troy, we’re told, is an amazing NBA player, despite the fact that he appears to be about 5’8 and not particularly athletic.  Then again, the show also told us that Scott could be an Olympic-class swimmer despite having never trained and that Jason could get a record deal despite having no talent so I guess it all makes sense.

Anyway, Lisa hangs out with Troy and ends up kissing him on the beach.  Scott breaks up with her when he finds out and then acts all mopey about it.  “She could have been the one!” Scott says while the audience goes, “Awwww!”  Seriously, Lisa — the show’s Lisa — could have been the one?  This would be the same character who talks down to everyone, complains nonstop, and who has only been dating Scott for like a week.  She’s the one?

Fortunately (?), Lisa tells Troy to get lost.  Troy seems like a perfectly nice guy but we’re only supposed to care about Scott’s heartbreak.  Lisa apologizes to Scott.  Scott kisses Lisa.  “Whoooo!” says the audience.

Every episode of every Peter Engel-produced sitcom had an episode like this.  I have to admit that none of those other episodes annoyed quite as much as this episode of Malibu CA did.  I think it’s because 1) Lisa is a terrible character, 2) Marquita Terry gives a terrible performance in the role, 3) there’s zero chemistry between Marquita Terry and Trevor Merszei (who played Scott), and 4) even Scott deserves better than the treatment he got during this episode.  Lisa apologized for kissing Troy and that’s fine but she didn’t really say anything that would suggests that she’s not going to dump Scott every time one of her ex-boyfriends shows up.  This relationship is doomed.

Speaking of doomed, Peter, Jason, Murray, Traycee, and Alex all went camping.  After hearing that a killer had escaped from a nearby mental asylum, they freaked out when a stranger approached their camp sight.  First, they tied the guy in a net.  Then Peter hit him on the head with a frying pan …. oh wait, he’s not the killer!  He’s just some innocent guy who was trying to be helpful.

“Please don’t sue,” Peter says.

Peter, I hope he sues your ass for everything you’ve got.