The Film’s of 2024: God’s Not Dead: In God We Trust (dir by Vance Null)


It can be easy to forget just what a big splash God’s Not Dead made when it was released back in 2014.  Today, it’s taken for granted that every year, at least one faith-based movie will be released to terrible reviews and then “shock” everyone by opening up strong at the box office.  However, in 2014, God’s Not Dead was the film that started the whole trend, along with sparking the ongoing debate about whether or not Hollywood has the slightest idea what most Americans want to see.

That’s not to say, of course, that God’s Not Dead was a good film.  It’s not.  It’s a ludicrously simplistic and smug film that, over the course of its overly long run time, promotes the idea that the only reason atheists exist is because they’re either bitter, evil, or both.  (For the record, if a professor truly threatened to fail a paying student solely because of his religious beliefs, the end result would probably be a lawsuit.)  The idea that someone could sincerely disagree with the film’s heroes or even believe differently than them without having an ulterior motive is not one that is entertained in the God’s Not Dead universe.  Indeed, perhaps the most interesting thing about the God’s Not Dead films is that they are just as heavy-handed and often just as condescending as the secular films being churned out by the major studios.

God’s Not Dead has, to date, spawned four sequels.  The second was enjoyably campy and featured an earnest performance from Melissa Joan Hart.  The third, which is the the closest that the franchise has gotten to actually making a good film, was surprisingly even-handed, or at least as even-handed as a film in this franchise can be.  The fourth was way too talky but, because it came out during the COVID lockdowns, its condemnation of government overreach reflected the way that a lot of people were feeling at the time.  Somewhat inevitably, the fifth film finds Reverend David Hill (David A.R. White) running for Congress again the villain from the second film, dastardly atheist Peter Kane (Ray Wise).

The film opens with the death of an incumbent congressman.  His opponent, Peter Kane, tells the press that the congressman was a good man and then proceeds to gloat about his death in private.  Kane is an ultra-liberal atheist.  Usually, the villains in the God’s Not Dead universe have a dead relative to help explain why they’ve lost their faith but Kane is just evil.  (In God’s Not Dead 2, Kane specifically put Melissa Joan Hart on trial for expressing her Christian beliefs and then chortles, “We are going to prove God is dead!”)  With Kane on the verge of being elected to Congress by default, Rep. Daryl Smith (Isaiah Washington) suggests that David Hill, who went viral for denouncing Congress in the fourth film, should be the party’s new nominee.

After some hesitation, Hill agrees.  However, he drives his campaign manager, Lottie Joy (Samaire Armstrong), crazy by basing his campaign on his religious beliefs.  Of course, if you didn’t want a candidate to talk about his religious beliefs in a campaign, why would you nominate a pastor whose fame is totally based on those beliefs?  Add to that, Hill is running for a Congressional seat in Arkansas.  I have family in Arkansas.  Growing up, I occasionally lived in Arkansas.  Sure, there are liberals in Arkansas and there are atheists in Arkansas.  But none of them are going to get elected to Congress anytime soon.  Arkansas is probably one of the few states where Hill’s faith-based campaign wouldn’t be considered controversial.

(That Mike Huckabee has a cameo as himself should be all the reminder that viewers need that Arkansas is not at all hesitant about electing pastors to higher office.)

It’s heavy-handed and cartoonish, which is probably to be expected.  Unfortunately, it’s also rather boring, with not even Ray Wise’s villainy providing much entertainment value.  Outside of arguing that atheists are evil and that separation of church and state is just a catch phrase, the film argues that money is a divisive force in politics and that politicians shouldn’t be bought.  Wow, really!?  It’s a film about politics that has little fresh insight to offer.  David Hill goes from being a media-savvy pastor to being an innocent naïf who is shocked to discover that politics is a dirty business.  God’s Not Dead: In God We Trust makes Billy Jack Goes To Washington seem like a hard-hitting portrayal of American politics.

I will give this franchise some credit for maintaining a surprising sense of continuity.  As I mentioned earlier, Ray Wise returns as the character that he played in the second film.  Paul Kwo is back as Hill’s associate pastor.  Dean Cain returns as the amoral businessman from the first film.  You have to imagine that Kevin Sorbo is kicking himself for allowing his smug professor character to die in the first film.  What’s funny is that the college student who kicked off the franchise by refusing to sign a piece of paper declaring God to be dead has pretty much vanished from the films.  Whatever happened to that kid?

In the end, we all know where this is going.  The next film will undoubtedly feature David Hill running for president.  2028 is right around the corner.

Spring Breakdown: Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped From The Beach (dir by Brian Skiba)


When last we checked in with the McCarthy family, Samantha (Samaire Armstrong) and her daughter Ellie (Alexandria DeBerry) were kidnapped while on vacation and ended up getting stranded on a remote beach.  Fortunately, they were saved by the combined efforts of the FBI and Samantha’s husband, David (Corin Nemec).  One of the kidnappers, Ian (Jonathan Bouvier), managed to escaped and a few people got shot but, fortunately, it appeared that everyone was safe.

That all occurred in the 2019 Lifetime film, Deadly Excursion.

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped From The Beach checks in with the McCarthy family a year or two later and we discover that 1) David and Samantha’s marriage is now a lot stronger and 2) the family apparently didn’t learn much from their last time they got kidnapped while on vacation.  This time, ignoring the warnings of the FBI, Samantha and David go to Florida to support Ellie as she leads her beach volleyball team to a national championship.  Unfortunately, Samantha and David are also followed by Cesar Rodriguez (Matt Cedeno) and Cesar’s son, Miguel (David Meza).  Cesar and Miguel have plans to kidnap the entire family.  Meanwhile, Ian is still wandering about and looking for a chance to redeem himself, despite the fact that he’s currently #15 on the FBI’s Most Wanted List.

Got all that?

The question is, “How many times can the same thing happen to the same family?” and the answer here seems to be “At least twice.”  Indeed, it may require a certain suspension of disbelief to buy that the McCarthys could actually learn so little from their last vacation but, then again, suspension of disbelief is what Lifetime movies are all about.  As I’ve said many times, you don’t necessarily watch a film like this because you’re looking for a realistic film about kidnapping.  You watch a film like this for the beach scenery and the melodrama and for the familiar faces of the likable actors who play the film’s lead roles.  Say what you will about David McCarthy and his decision-making abilities, it’s always fun to watch Corin Nemec play a role like this.  Nemec always throws himself into it, delivering his lines with just the right mix of drama and humorous self-awareness.  And, again, he’s a likable actor.  You like David because it’s impossible not to like Corin.  You hope that he’ll get back together with his family because the three of them just seem like they belong together.

Of course, there are a few differences between the first Deadly Excursion and the second.  The first Deadly Excursion found the family being held hostage on an island.  This time, they’re held hostage in a luxury hotel and I have to say that the hotel is really quite impressive.  If I was going to be held hostage, I’d want to be held hostage there.  It also leads to an interesting scene where one of the family members manages to briefly escape, just to discover that even the people who aren’t involved in her kidnapping don’t necessarily want to get involved.  Sadly, that’s probably very true to life.  You can be just as isolated in a city as you can be on a deserted island.

Deadly Excursion: Kidnapped From The Beach won’t take you by surprise but the beach scenery is gorgeous and the cast is likable and sometimes, that’s all you need.

Previous Spring Breakdown 2021 Entries:

  1. The Beach Girls and the Monster
  2. Top Secret!
  3. Jaws: The Revenge
  4. Hunk
  5. Love In A Goldfish Bowl
  6. Eureka

 

Lifetime Film Review: He’s Out To Get You (dir by Nadeem Soumah)


So, put yourself in the shoes of Megan (Samaire Armstrong).

You had a wonderful husband.  You had a young child.  You were out driving one day and, because you took your eyes off the road, you ended up having a head-on collision with another vehicle.  You survived.  Your husband did not.  Your child is dead.  What do you do?

Well, Megan decides to check herself into a mental hospital and it’s there that she stays for the next four years.  Because she checked herself in, she can also check herself out.  Eventually, she decides to do just that.  Her doctor thinks that Megan isn’t ready to reenter society but Megan is determined to return to her hometown and reunite with her brother.

Her brother, Greg, lives in a house on a hill that overlooks the ocean.  It’s a big house that towers over the otherwise dead end small town below.  As Duke (Rob Mayes), the local bartender puts it, it doesn’t look like it belongs in the town.  Greg has lived in the house since the death of his and Megan’s parents but when Megan arrives, Greg is nowhere to be found!

When Mega asks around town, everyone insists that they’ve never heard of this mysterious Greg.  At first, Megan thinks that it might be because Greg was always a bit of a recluse.  But, as the days drags on and she can still find no sign of her bother, Megan starts to think that something has happened to Greg.  Could it be a conspiracy or could it all be coincidence?

Or ….. is it possible that Megan never had a brother to begin with!?  That’s certainly what the unhelpful sheriff (Bart Johnson) seems to think.  In fact, the only person who seems to have any faith in Megan is Duke but Duke has a shady history of his own.  Duke not only is a former burglar but he has plans that require more money than he probably possesses.  Is Duke to be trusted or is he lying about what he knows?

And who put that rattlesnake in Megan’s car!?

Yes, the plot of He’s Out To Get You raises a lot of questions.  They’re all answered and some of the answers are more satisfactory than others.  This is one of those films that sets up an intriguing mystery but which doesn’t quite come up with a satisfying solution.  To be honest, though, none of that really matters because — OH MY GOD, THE HOUSE IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!

I have often stated on this site that one of the main things that I love about Lifetime films is seeing the huge houses in which they take place.  I mean, Lifetime has featured a lot of truly stunning homes.  But I don’t know if Lifetime has ever featured house quite as impressive as the one in He’s Out To Get You.  Seriously, this house is huge and it’s tastefully decorated and it has a nice pool and, most importantly, the view is absolutely to die for!  Would I kill to own that house?  Well, maybe not quite but I’d definitely consider it.

As for the rest of the film, it’s well-acted and the villains are properly hissable.  I liked Duke, the morally ambiguous bartender and I thought Rob Mayes did a great job with the role.  That said, the house is definitely the star.

Seriously, it’s beautiful.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #199: Deadly Excursion (dir by Brian Skiba)


Last night, while overseeing the first day of horrorthon, I still found the time to turn over the Lifetime Movie Network and watch the 2019 thriller, Deadly Excursion!

Why Was I Watching It?

The film premiered way back in January.  I watched it on Lifetime but, for some reason, I didn’t get a chance to review it.  I may have been busy trying to keep up with all the Oscar news.  Who knows?  So, when I saw that Deadly Excursion would be re-airing on the Lifetime Movie Network last night, I was like, “Yay!  It’s a second chance to do the right thing!”

What Was It About?

Sam (Samire Armstrong) needs a vacation!  Not only is she recently separated from her cheating husband (Corin Nemec) but her daughter, Ellie (Alexandria DeBerry), will soon be leaving home.  Sam and Ellie head down to Florida where, during their first night in paradise, Sam meets the charming Javier (Callard Harris) and Ellie meets Javier’s brother, Ian (Jonathan Bouvier).  Javier invites Sam to spend the day on his boat.  Despite barely knowing him, Sam agrees and decides to bring along her daughter.

Well, as you probably already guessed, Javier is not the nice guy that he pretends to be.  Anyway, one thing leads to another and soon Sam and Ellie are trapped on an island where they have to figure out how to survive while being stalked by international criminals.

What Worked?

Paradise may be deadly but it’s still very nice to look at.  The ocean, the island, the beach, the blue sky, the green trees, this is a film full of pretty views.  This is one of those films that will make you want to take a vacation, though hopefully not a deadly one.

Samaire Armstrong and Alexandria DeBerry was well-cast and convincing as mother-and-daughter while Callard Harris and Jonathan Bouvier were both properly menacing.  Harris especially did a good job of playing up Javier’s sleazy charm.  And, of course, Corin Nemec was his usual likable self.

What Did Not Work?

Obviously, any melodrama is going to require a certain suspension of disbelief but Deadly Excursion occasionally took it a bit too far.  Samaire Armstrong did the best that she could with the character but, at the start of the movie, Sam was often just too naive to be believed.

“Oh my God!  Just Like Me!” Moments

I related to the relationship between Sam and Ellie.  It reminded me of my own relationship with my mom, back when she was newly single and I was a bratty teenager.

The film also reminded me of the trip that my mom, my sisters, and I all took to Hawaii the summer after Erin graduated from high school.  It was a fun trip to paradise but it was also kinda disturbing because there was this obviously sleazy beach bum who totally fell in love with my mom and who just would not stop showing up and trying to convince us all to come party with him at some isolated spot that apparently only he knew about.  Finally, we were all just like, “Dude, it’s not going to happen!”  He looked really depressed at the news but he stopped following us around.  If only Sam had been willing to say the same thing to Javier.

Lessons Learned

Don’t get on a boat with a strange man that you barely know.  Actually, if you needed a movie to teach you that, you should probably be a little bit concerned.  I mean, it’s just common sense, right?  But, still, it’s a good lesson.  Another good lesson is that, if you ever do find yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere, a good plan is to call Corin Nemec.  He’ll do his best to rescue you.