Ronald G. Joseph | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1981’s Fallen Angel! It can be viewed on Tubi.

Jennifer Phillips (Dana Hill) is 12 years old and struggling to find her place in the world. Sometimes, she wants to be a gymnast. Sometimes, she wants to be an actress. She misses her late father. She has a difficult time communicating with her mother, an often-exhausted waitress named Sherry (Melinda Dillon). She is definitely not happy that Sherry is dating the well-meaning but rather dorky Frank Dawson (Ronny Cox). Jennifer wants to watch an awards show. Frank changes the channel to a baseball game. That pretty much sums up their relationship.

One night, Jennifer escapes the unhappiness of her home life by going to an arcade. That’s where she is approached by Howard Nichols (Richard Masur), a seemingly friendly older man who takes her picture and then tells her that she’s just as beautiful as Farrah Fawcett and Olivia Newton-John. Jennifer replies that she doesn’t think that she should talk to Howard because he’s a stranger. Howard tells her that’s very smart of her and then explains that he coaches the local girls softball team and that he thinks Jennifer would make a great shortstop.

You can probably guess where this is going and you’re absolutely right. Soon, Jennifer is spending all of her time with Howard, who tells her that he understands what she’s going through even if her parents don’t. Howard’s an amateur photographer and he’s constantly asking Jennifer to pose for him. He tells Jennifer that she probably shouldn’t tell any adults about their “special friendship” because they just wouldn’t understand. He even buys Jennifer a puppy, one that he threatens to take back to the pound whenever it appears that Jennifer is trying to step away from him.

Howard is not only a pedophile but he also works for a pornography ring and, as Jennifer soon finds out, he’s actually got several young people living with him and posing for pictures. Jennifer’s mother eventually becomes concerned about what Jennifer is doing when she leaves the house and she even comes to suspect that friendly old Howard is not quite as friendly as he pretends to be. But is it too late?

Yikes! I watched this film on Tubi and I cringed through the whole thing. Of course, that’s the reaction that Fallen Angel was going for. This is a film that was made to encourage parents to maybe be a little concerned about with whom their children are spending their free time. Jennifer is fortunate that her mom eventually figures out what is going on but, as the film makes clear, a lot of victims are not so lucky. This film is pure paranoia fuel but in the best way possible. There are some things that every parent should be paranoid about and the adult who only spends time with people 20 years younger than him is definitely one of those things. The film is well-made, well-written, and well-acted. Richard Masur, with his friendly manner and his manipulate tone, will give you nightmares.

While rescuing hostages in the Middle East, a team of Navy SEALs discover that terrorist leader Ben Shaheed (Nicholas Kadi) has a warehouse full of stinger missiles. Hawkins (Charlie Sheen) wants to destroy the missiles but his superior, Curran (Michael Biehn), orders him to concentrate on saving the hostages. As a result, Shaheed has time to move the missiles to another location. With the help of a Lebanese-American journalist (Joanne Whalley-Kilmer) and the CIA, the SEALs must now track down the new location and destroy the missiles before they are used by Shaheed’s organization.

Navy SEALs is mostly memorable for the amount of James Cameron alumni who appear in its cast. The cast not only features The Terminator‘s Michael Biehn and Rick Rossovich but Bill Paxton as well. Of course, the main star is Charlie Sheen, still technically a serious actor at the time, who gives a wide-eyed and histrionic performance that suggests Hawkins may have snorted a little marching powder before reporting for duty. 24‘s Dennis Haysbert plays a SEAL who is engaged to marry Law & Order‘s S. Epatha Merkerson. Haysbert spends so much time planning his wedding and talking about both the importance of both duty and love that the only shocking thing about his role is that he manages to survive half the movie before getting killed. Neither Val Kilmer nor Cary Elwes is in the cast, though it seems like they both should be.

Navy SEALs was a box office bust in 1990 but, after the death of Osama Bin Laden, it experienced a sudden upswing in popularity and even appeared on primetime television a few times. The scene where the SEALs blow off some steam by playing golf is a classic but, otherwise, this is a largely forgettable Top Gun rip off.