Volker (Gary Daniels) and his gang break into an English manor, hoping to rob the place. Since their last home invasion led to a pregnant woman getting shot in the head (though the actress continued to visibly breathe onscreen even after her character expired), Volker has planned this robbery down to the least little detail. However, it turns out that the family that was supposed to be on a trip is actually home for the holidays! Also, their Hungarian gardener, Peter (Robert Bronzi), is a former soldier who returns to his former ways to protect the family. Armed with his gardening tools, Peter takes out the bad guys, one at a time.
Robert Bronzi is an actor whose career centers around him bearing a passable resemblance to Charles Bronson. He also appeared in Death Kiss and, earlier this week, Brad reviewed him in Escape From Death Block 13. In this movie, he’s not really a gardener just like Charles Bronson wasn’t really a mechanic in the film of the same name. Get it? This is one of the Bronzi films I’ve seen in which he wasn’t dubbed. Peter is from Eastern Europe, just like Bronzi, so Bronzi gets to speak with his own voice. He still doesn’t say much, though. Bronzi actually looks less and less like Charles Bronson every time that I see him. If he ever lost the mustache, his career would end. Even more importantly, Bronzi doesn’t have Bronson’s screen presence. Bronson could accomplish a lot just by narrowing his eyes. Brozni always seems like he’s not sure where the camera is. The movie plods along without much suspense or humor, as if we’re supposed to take a low-budget film with a Charles Bronson imitator seriously.
TheGardener is a film with a plot so thin that I don’t think the real Charles Bronson would have wasted his time with it.
Well, I finally did it. I finally made it all the way through a movie starring Robert Bronzi, the Hungarian Charles Bronson lookalike who started making movies a few years ago with titles like DEATH KISS (2018), ONCE UPON A TIME IN DEADWOOD (2019) and 12 TO MIDNIGHT (2024). Any person who’s read any of my work on here knows that Charles Bronson is my all-time favorite actor, and that I’ve been obsessed with him for over 40 years. I’ve known about Bronzi since he first popped up in 2017, but I haven’t had much interest in him because his only similarity to Bronson is his very basic look. I watched enough of DEATH KISS back in the day to know that he doesn’t have any of Bronson’s charisma, grace or acting ability. I turned it off or fell asleep and never finished it. Well, this past week, I was on the set of a movie that’s being filmed here in Central Arkansas that’s using my brother’s convenience store as one of its filming locations. I was talking to a producer of the film (David Wade), and of course, as the conversation went on I eventually told him that I’m obsessed with Charles Bronson. If you hang around me long enough, that information is sure to be shared at some point! Once David knew this, he told me that he acted in a film with Robert Bronzi in 2021 called ESCAPE FROM DEATH BLOCK 13 that was filmed at the Mansfield Reformatory in Ohio, the location made famous as the prison used in the classic THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994). He was impressed that I was fully aware of Bronzi and his resemblance to Bronson. I promised him that I’d watch the film since he’s in it, so here we are!
The plot of ESCAPE FROM DEATH BLOCK 13 is simple. After his brother’s death, Hungarian construction worker Mick Kovacs (Robert Bronzi) travels to America seeking justice. Visiting a recycling factory owned by the shady Renda (Nicholas Turturro), Mick demands compensation owed to his brother’s family. When Renda’s goons attack him, Mick is framed for extortion and attempted murder, and finds himself in the Pleasant Hill Penitentiary, where he faces sadistic guards, violent inmates, and the corrupt Warden Jack (Debbie Scaletta). Before going to prison, Kovacs is offered a deal by Detective Borelli (Lyindaa Russell) and FBI Agent Langley (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) to uncover a drug ring. Once inside, he discovers that Renda and the Warden are responsible for his brother’s death. Driven by a desire for vengeance, Mick sparks a violent riot in hopes of bringing justice to all those who have done his family wrong!
I’m not going to spend much time reviewing ESCAPE FROM DEATH BLOCK 13. If you’re a movie viewer who thinks the idea of watching an ultra low budget prison movie, filmed at Shawshank prison, with terrible acting, terrible special effects, and a lead actor who looks kind of like Charles Bronson sounds fun, then this could be the movie for you. This movie is not even close to the quality of Bronson’s 80’s Cannon films. Those films had good directors who delivered entertaining low budget action films, and Bronson was always worth the price of admission. Bronson’s Cannon movies were extremely profitable, especially in the golden age of VHS rentals. In the case of ESCAPE FROM DEATH BLOCK 13, director Gary Jones has delivered a terrible movie that is fun if you like bad movies. This movie knows it’s a bad movie, leans into its turkeydom, and hopes you will like it because Bronzi looks like Bronson, and there is action. In other words, it’s complete schlock that’s looking for an audience that digs the cheesiest of cheese. There’s not a thing wrong with liking cheesefests. I just want to make sure you know that’s what you’re getting into!
I did find it interesting that ESCAPE FROM DEATH BLOCK 13 is full of references to Charles Bronson’s TV and movie filmography. In this film, Robert Bronzi plays a character named Mick Kovacs. From 1958-1960, Bronson starred in the TV series MAN WITH A CAMERA playing a character named Mike Kovac. Nicolas Turturro plays a bad guy named Renda in this film. Al Lettieri played a bad guy named Frank Renda in Bronson’s excellent 1974 action film MR. MAJESTYK. And finally, in this film, Kenny Hendrix plays a bare knuckle prison boxer named Chaney. In my personal favorite Charles Bronson film, HARD TIMES (1975), Bronson plays a bare knuckle boxer named Chaney. I will admit these references were fun to spot as they came up throughout the film’s 105 minute runtime, which is probably a good 30 minutes longer than it needs to be.
As I mentioned earlier, I watched ESCAPE FROM CELL BLOCK 13 because David Wade, who plays a prison guard in the film, asked me to. David does a fine job as guard Schaffner, with his performance fitting in perfectly with the vibe of the film. His friendly manner on the movie set at my brother’s store gave me a rooting interest in the film, and from that standpoint, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
An unnamed city has been turned into a war zone by gangsters like Tyrell (Richard Tyson). Men, women, and children are killed in the streets. Muggers haunt every corner. Pimps exploit women in dirty trailers. A right-wing radio host named Dan Forthright (Daniel Baldwin) rants that if the police aren’t going to do their job then it’s up to the citizens to take up arms and take the streets back.
Making that dream a reality is a man known only as the Stranger (Robert Bronzi). The Stranger walks the streets, wearing a dark suit and carrying a gun. He has a mustache and a grim expression and he doesn’t say much. He approaches criminals and he guns them down without hesitation. If the criminals beg for their lives, the Stranger just shoots them again. There’s no one that the Stranger hates more than a criminal who preys on the weak and defenseless. (The Strangers reminds me someone. As the film’s tagline puts it, “Justice has a familiar face!”) For years, the Stranger has been sending money to a single mother named Ana (Eva Hamilton). He goes to her house and they meet when she catches him slipping an envelope full of cash into her mailbox. The Stranger won’t explain why he’s sending her money but he will take the time to teach her how to use a shotgun. “For coyotes,” The Stranger says, handing her the weapon.
Death Kiss is one of the many recent, low-budget action films to have starred Robert Bronzi. Bronzi is a Hungarian actor who owes his entire career to the fact that he bears a passable resemblance to Charles Bronson. (Bronzi doesn’t speak much in his films but, when he does, his voice is usually dubbed by a Bronson sound alike.) The problem is that Bronzi only looks like Bronson in long shots. In a medium shot or a close-up, it becomes obvious that he’s just a middle-aged man who does not seem to be comfortable reciting dialogue and who often looks straight at the camera.
Death Kiss doesn’t have much of a plot. The Stranger visits Ana, who is not at all worried about a mysterious, gun-toting man showing up at the home that she shares with her young daughter. The Stranger also tracks down Tyrell. Along the way, he shoots nearly everyone that he meets. There are a few one liners but none of them are as good as the “Do you believe in Jesus?” scene from Death Wish II. Because The Stranger is not allowed to just come out and say that he’s Paul Kersey from the Death Wish films, he’s not allowed to reveal any motivation for his activities. He just shows up and starts shooting people. Say what you will about some of the movies that he made during the latter part of his career, the real Bronson would have held out for a better script or at least a bigger budget. I hope they at least gave Robert Bronzi a nice trailer so that he could put his feet up between scenes.
Volker (Gary Daniels) and his gang break into an English manor, hoping to rob the place. Since their last home invasion led to a pregnant woman getting shot in the head (though the actress continued to visibly breathe onscreen even after her character expired), Volker has planned this robbery down to the least little detail. However, it turns out that the family that was supposed to be on a trip is actually home for the holidays! Also, their Hungarian gardener, Peter (Robert Bronzi), is a former soldier who returns to his former ways to protect the family. Armed with his gardening tools, Peter takes out the bad guys, one at a time.
Through the Shattered Lens 