October True Crime: Smiley Face Killers (dir by Tim Hunter)


“Okay, you need to go back on your meds….”

“Kaeen, I am on my meds.”

That exchange, between college student Jake (Ronen Rubinstein) and his girlfriend, Keren (Mia Serafino), pretty much sums up 2020’s Smiley Face Killers.  It’s a study of modern paranoia, in which Jake thinks — with good reason — that he’s being stalked and all of his friends think that he just needs to take more of his meds.  The fact that a lot of very weird things are happening to Jake doesn’t really matter to his friends.  They’ve decided that any and all problems are linked somehow to taking meds.  “Take your meds” is the only solution that they can offer up.  It’s empty advice but it’s also advice that makes them feel absolved about going to parties and obsessing on their own petty dramas while Jake essentially loses his mind.

Jake suspects that he’s being stalked and that his phone is being hacked and that someone wants to kill him.  He’s absolutely right about that.  The majority of the film follows Jake as he tries to get someone — anyone — to accept that he’s right to be paranoid.  The film may have been sold as Eli Roth-style torture porn or as a postmodern slasher movie but, instead, it’s a study in isolation.  Jake is being stalked by the Smiley Face Killers for reasons that are never made particularly clear.  That said, one gets the feeling that, if the Smiley Face Killers didn’t get Jake, some other group of homicidal lunatics would have.  It’s a dangerous world out there and Jake has obviously pissed off the forces of fate.

Who are the Smiley Face Killers?  The film’s opening credits refer to them as being an urban legend, though I think that gives the whole Smiley Face Killer thing too much credit.  Over the years, there have been several incidents of college students drowning.  All of the students were male.  All of them were athletic.  The majority of them were members of fraternities.  Two retired homicide cops noted that smiley face graffiti was present at many of the “crime scenes” and they came up with a theory that these students were being purposefully drowned by a cult who used the smiley face as their calling card.  It’s a ludicrous theory but one that was embraced by some grieving parents who were still trying to understand how their child could have possibly died when he had his entire future ahead of him.

Of course, it’s far more probable that there is no cult.  The fact of the matter is that the smiley face is a universal symbol and it’s one that you can find drawn or painted just about anywhere.  As well, the majority of the victims were described as being drunk when last seen alive.  College students — especially frat boys — have a tendency to drink more than they can handle.  When a college happens to be near a river or even a creek, it’s a sad of fact of life that there’s a chance of someone stumbling into the water during the night.  That’s especially true if that person is drunk.  No parents wants to admit that their child died because he didn’t know when to say when, leaving them susceptible to conspiracy theories about cults.  Dr. Phil did an entire show on the Smiley Face Killer theory.  Oprah’s network aired an entire docuseries about the theory and pretty much presented it as a fact.  Both of them exploited the grief of the parents for ratings.  Shame on both of them.

As for the movie, it’s actually weirdly effective.  Screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis and director Tim Hunter (who also did the similarly dark River’s Edge) do a good job of capturing the paranoia of everyday life.  Jake is pretty much doomed from the minute we see him but the film holds our interest by showing how everyone but Jake has essentially closed their eyes to what’s happening in front of them.  In the end, Jake has no control over his fate, whether he’s taking his meds or not.

Forget The Gallows


The_Gallows_Poster

The new horror film The Gallows is pretty dire.  It’s boring, it’s forgettable, and – worst of all – it’s not really scary.  And yet, I would argue that The Gallows is actually providing a fairly valuable service for horror films lovers.

The Gallows is a found footage horror movie and sometimes, it’s easy to forget just how bad found footage horror movies can be.  Every once and a while, a film will be released that actually makes good use of the whole found footage gimmick.  Movies like The Last Exorcism, Devil’s Due, Apollo 18, and Unfriended are all good horror films but, at the same time, it’s important to remember that they are the exception to the rule.  The Gallows may be a total crapfest but it’s a necessary evil because it serves to remind us of why so many horror films have gone to hate found footage films.

As for The Gallows itself, it tells a story that will be familiar to anyone who has seen a horror film.  20 years ago, during a high school production of a play called The Gallows, a student named Charlie was accidentally hanged.  Now, in the present, the school is commemorating the anniversary by putting on another production of The Gallows and…

Excuse me?

Yes, I know that makes no sense.  What can I tell you?  This is a crappy film.

Anyway, Charlie’s role is being played by a kid named Reese but Reese doesn’t really want to be in the play. He’s just doing it because he has a crush on his co-star, Pfieffer.  So, Reese’s obnoxious jock friend, Ryan, suggests that they should break into the school at night and trash the set.  That way, the play will be canceled and Reese can comfort Pfieffer.  Reese agrees and…

What was that you asked?

Yes, the film really is that stupid.

So, Reese, Ryan, and Ryan’s girlfriend Cassidy break into the school and trash the set.  However, before they can really get into destroying stuff, Pfieffer shows up and demands to know what they’re doing.  And then suddenly the doors slam shut and everyone’s trapped in the school and hey, there’s the evil spirit of Charlie and he wants to hang everyone…

But guess what!

Charlie’s not just a random evil spirit, seeking out anyone foolish enough to break into the school at night.  If that was the case, he might actually be scary.  No, Charlie actually has a backstory and a much more complicated motive for wanting to kill everyone.  And I’m not going to spoil the film for anyone who wants to see it so I’ll just say this.

Charlie’s motives?  They’re really, really stupid.

And, of course, the whole film is found footage!  So, once again, we get the whole shaky cam thing and people saying stuff like, “Are you filming?” and all the rest.  And, of course, all of the characters share the same first name as their actors because … well, I’m not sure what the point of that is exactly.  It’s not like we’re going to be fooled into thinking that we’re watching an actual event.  There have been way too many crappy found footage films released recently for anyone to fall for that.

Admittedly, I did jump once or twice while watching The Gallows.  But any horror film can get me to jump once or twice.  The Gallows is a boring and listless film but, at the very least, it does serve as a warning.

Beware found footage horror films.  They promise much yet rarely do they deliver.