As I watched the 2005 indie film Conventioneers, I realized that I could never be a professional protestor.  Conventioneers, you see, was shot at the 2004 Republican National Convention and it combines actual footage of both the conventions and the protests with scenes of a Republican delegate (Matthew Mabes) reuniting with a college friend (Woodwyn Koons) who is now a liberal activist.  When Mabes and Koons first get together, they end up arguing about politics.  When they meet a second time, they end up having sex.  Meanwhile, Koons’ friend Dylan (Alek Friedman) has been enlisted to provide a sign language interpretation for President Bush’s acceptance speech.  Should Dylan use the opportunity to stage his own protest…

Oh, who cares?

Sorry.  I guess I should admit right now that I tend to be allergic to self-righteous and self-important people, regardless of which side of the political divide they call home.

And that’s one reason why I could never be a professional protestor.  Or, at the very least, I couldn’t be the type of protestor who populates Conventioneers.  They’re all so humorless and sure of their own importance and uniqueness (despite the fact that they all pretty much had the same look and the same way of speaking) that, as I watched them discuss and debate every little detail of their ideology, I could only think about how annoying it would be to ever watch a movie with them.  I would want to laugh at the antics of Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum.  They would want to debate the morality of watching a movie where the characters don’t ride bicycles or wear Che t-shirts.  It would just get so tedious!

Add to that, I have a need to smile, even when I’m talking about something important.  As I watched Conventioneers, I was struck by how both the real protestors and the actors always had those, “We’re so serious” scowls on their faces.  You could tell they were thinking, “If we look really pissed off, everyone will be sooooooo impressed.  We’re changing the fucking world!”

Bleh.

And that’s really the problem with Conventioneers.  It’s a left-wing film but all of the left-wing characters are so dogmatic and full of themselves that, had the film come out in time to influence the 2004 elections, Bush probably would have defeated Kerry in a landslide.  Just because you have good intentions and might be on the right side of the issues, that’s no excuse to make a tedious movie.  That’s a lesson that many political filmmakers really need to learn.

Reportedly, while shooting on location, director Mora Stephens and her crew were actually arrested and had to spend a few hours in jail.  That makes for an interesting story but it doesn’t make for a good movie.  If you want to see a good political film that was shot at a political convention, I would suggest watching Medium Cool.