Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 3.12 “Epitaph For A Lonely Heart”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s just Jack and Micki!

Episode 3.12 “Epitaph For A Lonely Heart”

(Dir by Allan Kroeker, originally aired on January 22nd, 1990)

Eli Leonard (Neil Munro) is a mortician who uses a cursed embalming needle to bring the dead back to life.  Of course, he has to kill someone for the needle to work.  Eli has fallen in love with the corpse of a young woman and …. EEK!

The dead woman’s fiancé is Steve Wells (Barclay Hope), a friend of Micki’s who let’s her know that he thinks something strange is happening at the funeral home before he himself is killed by Eli.  Micki and Jack investigate!  It all ends with a big and convenient fire, which not only kills Eli but also the two women who he has recently brought back to life.

Johnny Ventura was not in this episode and, as much as I’ve complained about the character, he actually is missed.  Having Micki just working solely with Jack threw off the show’s balance a little.  Jack is so much older than Micki that, in this episode, it felt as if Micki was Jack’s apprentice as opposed to being an equal partner in the search for the cursed items.  As a character, Micki works best when she has an impulsive guy like Ryan or Johnny to play off of.  Both she and Jack tend be cautious so this episode just felt a bit off.

(That said, there was an enjoyable scene of Jack and Micki having to host a gathering of all the other local antique dealers, none of whom knew that Jack and Micki spend all of their time fighting the Devil.)

The mortician was one of the least sympathetic villains that this show has ever featured.  He was lonely but he also an obsessive creeper with no people skills.  Friday the 13th has often featured villains who were tragically misguided or seduced by the cursed antique.  The mortician was just a creep.  Neil Munro did a good job playing him, making him into a villain who you couldn’t wait to see meet his fate.

In the end, though, this episode just felt off.  I guess this show really does need Johnny screwing up and accidentally giving away the cursed antiques.  Who would have guessed?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.14 “Face of Evil”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

It’s sequel time!

Episode 2.14 “Face of Evil”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 6th, 1989)

In this sequel to the first season episode Vanity’s Mirror, Joanne Mackey (Gwendoline Pacey) returns to Curious Goods for the first time since the death of her younger sister, Helen.  Joanne reveals that she’s the one who stole the cursed gold compact at the end of Vanity’s Mirror, explaining that she simply had to have something that belonged to her sister.  Jack is not amused, telling her that she should have turned it over so that it could be stored in the vault.

Calm down, Jack.  Joanne knows she did something wrong and she’s trying to make amends.  She is especially concerned because the compact is now in the hands of an aging supermodel named Tabitha Robbins (Laura Robinson).  Tabitha is upset that her career is struggling and she’s been told that not even plastic surgery can reverse the fact that she’s just not as young as her competition.  Tabitha has figured out that anyone whose face is caught in the reflection of the mirror will either die or, at the very least, suffer a terrible disfigurement.  Apparently, in this case, the antique’s curse changes depending on who owns it.

I have mixed feelings about this episode.  On the one hand, I could relate to Tabitha’s feelings about aging.  No one wants to age and that’s doubly true when you’re working in an industry where youth is the most valuable commodity.  I also enjoyed the very 80s fashion shoots that were featured in this episode.  On the other hand, there were a lot of rather silly scenes of Tabitha trying to catch Ryan and Micki’s reflection in the mirror while Mick and Ryan ducked around with their hands over their faces.  There’s no other way to put it other than to say it all looked really goofy.

The biggest problem with this episode is that the majority of it was taken up with clips from Vanity’s Mirror.  Every few minutes, Joanne would think about Helen and we would get a flashback.  Unfortunately, a lot of the flashbacks didn’t even feature Joanne so you have to wonder how exactly she was able to remember them.  The constant flashbacks made this episode feel like a clip show and you know how much I hate those.

In the end, Tabitha accidentally catches her own face in the mirror’s reflection and she immediately starts aging.  I guess that’s the risk you take when you try to use a mirror as a weapon.  Micki and Ryan finally retrieve the compact and Jack mentions that Joanne could have saved a lot of lives by not stealing the compact in the first place.  Look, Jack — she feels bad enough already!  I’m sorry everyone isn’t beating down the doors of the antique shop to give you their cursed items.  Get off Joanne’s back!

Oh well.  At least the evil compact will hurt no one else….

Horror Film Review: Waxwork II: Lost In Time (dir by Anthony Hickox)


1992’s Waxwork II opens with the finale of the first Waxwork.  The cursed waxwork is burning to the ground, taking out the monsters within, along with Sir Wilfred (Patrick Macnee) and Wilfred’s army of do-gooders.  Only Mark (Zach Galligan) and Sarah (now played by Monika Schnarre) are able to escape.  Fleeing the burning building, they manage to catch a cab.  Sarah wonders what they’re going to do now.  Mark replies that they’re going to go back to school and pretend that none of this ever happened.

Good luck with that!  It turns out that one other thing did escape from the waxwork.  A disembodied hand follows Sarah home and murders her abusive stepfather.  Sarah manages to drop the hand down the garbage disposal, destroying it but also destroying the only proof she had that she didn’t kill her stepfather.  Sarah is put on trial for murder and the jury does not appear to be impressed with her “It was a supernatural creature” defense.

What she and Mark need is proof that the waxwork was full of monsters.  Fortunately, a trip to Sir Wilfred’s house reveals not only a recording of Sir Wilfred explaining how there’s an alternative universe known as the Kartagra but also a compass that can be used to find portals into the Kartagra.  Mark and Sarah enter the Kartagra, searching for proof of Sarah’s innocence.

Mark and Sarah go from one universe to another, meeting iconic horror characters along the way.  Just as with the exhibits in the first film, each universe features it own set monsters and its own distinctive style.  For instance, Mark finds himself suddenly cast in the role of Henry Clerval, best friend of Baron Frankenstein (Martin Kemp) and the lover of the Baron’s wife, Elizabeth (who is actually Sarah).  Of course, the Baron has more to worry about than his wife cheating with his best friend.  There’s also the angry monster living in the basement and the angry villagers that are due to start pounding on the front doors of the mansion.

Later, Mark finds himself in a black-and-white recreation of The Haunting of Hill House, working with a researcher (Bruce Campbell) and two psychics to investigate reports of a ghost at an old house.  Mark must bring peace to the ghost while avoiding all of the slapstick complications that one might expect when Bruce Campbell shows up as a paranormal researcher.  While Mark is dealing with that, Sarah is floating in space, trying to protect the crew of her dingy spaceship from an acid spewing alien.

You get the idea.  Waxwork II is essentially an affectionate collection of homages to other, better-known horror films and it must be said that Waxwork II does an excellent job of recreating each film, from the crisp black-and-white of haunted house scene to the grittiness of the Alien sequences to the over-the-top swordplay of a trip to a medieval world.  There’s even a trip to the mall from Dawn of the Dead!  Wisely, Waxwork II doesn’t take itself particularly seriously, with many scenes developing into outright comedy.  Zach Galligan gives an enjoyable and nicely modulated comedic performance, even holding his own with Bruce Campbell.

At 104 minutes, Waxwork II runs a bit too long for its own good but it ends on a sweet note that nicely wraps up the entire saga.  It’s a film that works as both a continuation of Waxwork and as an entertaining film on its own.