Michael Elliott | Through the Shattered Lens

Like all good people, I am currently obsessed with the Winter Olympics! As a result, over the past two weeks, I’ve been watching and reviewing a lot of Olympic-themed films. Today, I watched the 1984 slasher film, Fatal Games!

If you look at the poster above, you’ll see that Fatal Games was advertised as being a film about “America’s Olympic hopefuls … competing in the Fatal Games!” That’s kind of true. The Olympics are frequently mentioned throughout Fatal Games but technically, no one in the movie is actually a member of the Olympic team. At least not yet. Instead, they’re all students at a special athletic academy. Apparently, it’s supposed to be a high school, though we don’t ever see anyone taking a math test or attending English class or anything like that. Instead, it appears that everyone at the school spends all day practicing gymnastics, swimming, or running. In fact, it appears that there’s only 20 students at the school and, at most, 5 members of the faculty. Maybe it’s meant to be like that school that all of the clones attended in Never Let Me Go. Either that or it’s just an indication that Fatal Games was an extremely low-budget film.

Anyway, seven of the students have just won some sort of regional competition and now they’re getting ready for nationals! And, if they win at nationals, they’ll get to go to the Olympics. However, they might not even make it to nationals. Someone is stalking the blandly likable athletes and using a javelin to pick them off, one-by-one.

Interestingly, it takes people a while to notice that the number of potential Olympians is steadily dwindling. Instead, people say stuff like, “Hey, have you seen Nancy?” “Not for a few days.” “Hey, have you seen Sue Ellen?” “Didn’t she got to San Francisco to see her boyfriend?”

Well, I guess it’s understandable. It’s not like anyone in the film is going to school to develop their critical thinking skills. They’re athletes. Who cares about all of the people mysteriously disappearing? They have athletic stuff to worry about!

Fatal Games is pretty much a typical mid-80s slasher. Interestingly enough, it’s structured like a giallo. The murderer dresses in black and we get all of the required close-ups of the killer’s gloved hands. The film introduces several potential suspects but doesn’t reveal the killer’s identity until the final ten minutes.

Is it the overly critical track coach?

Is it the creepy doctor?

Is it the nurse who is worried that the athletes are being injected with too many hormones? (Obviously, she’s seen Goldengirl.)

Is it the swim coach?

Or is it her girlfriend, the swimmer who didn’t qualify for nationals?

Is it the gymnast whose grades are slipping?

Could it be the other gymnast who is always telling jokes?

Or the runner who has father issues?

Or is it Joe, the token weird guy?

They’re all given a scene or two to establish that they have a potential motive for wanting the seven aspiring Olympians dead. When the killer and the killer’s motive is finally revealed, it’s so over-the-top and stupid that you can’t help but admire the film for actually going there. The filmmakers obviously said, “Forget trying to make sense. WE’RE GOING FOR IT!”

Anyway, the main problem with Fatal Games is that the murderer uses a javelin and, as a result, there’s a lot of scenes of the killer running through narrow school hallways, carrying this goofy-looking javelin. Don’t get me wrong. Javelins are sharp and scary and I wouldn’t want one thrown at me. But still, when someone spends more than five minutes running down a narrow hallway while carrying a javelin, it just looks silly. Let’s not even think about the logistics of using a javelin to kill someone in broad daylight without anyone else noticing.

That said, as silly and predictable as Fatal Games may have been, there were a few moments of inspired lunacy. I already mentioned the ending, which is so over-the-top and silly that you can’t help but admire it. But there’s also a few shots that are genuinely effective. A scene where the killer suddenly appears in a doorway was handled well. There’s also an oddly dream-like sequence in which a swimmer practices in the pool, little realizing that the killer is floating underneath her. How did the killer get in the pool, with the javelin, without anyone noticing? Who knows? It’s still an effective scene.

Finally, I have to mention that Fatal Games opens with a song called “Take It All The Way,” which is so generically 80s that it’s oddly brilliant. It’s almost as good as Graduation Day‘s “The Winner.”

Fatal Games is currently available for viewing on YouTube.

I’m only human. I make mistakes. During the past week or so, Jedadiah has been venturing into the wide world of Internet Archive. I happened to spot “Sex Olympics” as I was glancing through things related to our site. I figured it had to be a movie, and found this one. It turned out that he had reviewed a game, and I had just came across a movie that happened to have “Sex Olympics” in the title. I might as well talk about it.

As is often the case, some things appeared before the title card.

That’s when they throw the Olympic Rings at you, which turn into male and female gender symbols.

Apparently, coming sooner than we think is three men for every two women locked together in…I don’t know…an orgy?

It then answers that question with one of the few sexual things you will actually see in this “Sex Olympics” movie.

These legs belong to two people who are having a sexploitation scene. Soon they and another couple are interrupted because they are on camera. We then go to the main set of the movie: Production Pod.

That’s where we meet our main character.

I’m sure he has a name, but I am just going with Eyebrows. I could have called him Crazy Eyes since he does those a lot, but that could cause confusion with this lady.

Then we meet the most important characters in the film: the audience.

They are not happy with the current programming. After discussing how disgusting the audience is, our crew traps the lady above in an isolation booth so she can do the Sports Sex Presents segment which airs “Tonite And Every Nite”.

She says stuff that I couldn’t bring myself to care about because I was too distracted by the theme song called The Year of the Sex Olympics.

We are introduced to contestants who are in heats to compete in the Sex Olympics–such as these two.

The other guy in the Production Pod seems to like what he sees when the sex starts.

They say things with British accents so I have no real idea except that their program is not selling well with the audience. That’s when The Coordinator comes in and takes Eyebrows somewhere else. They get something phallic to suck on called on a “Brightener”. It is supposed to cancel out your appetite. I assume your appetite for experience rather than your need for food.

The gist of their conversation is that people like to watch. People are perfectly happy to live vicariously through others. We also get foreshadowing in the form of dystopian talk about removing things like war. I also managed to catch the older guy with this face.

Now we cut to The Hungry Angry Show.

Today we just call this Twitter and comments sections.

This scene must have been very difficult. They had to have a Custard Pie Fight Arranger.

Mr. Peacock also needed five Custard Pie Experts to get it just right.

It goes without saying that the audience is still not enjoying the programming. Actually, I think they are trying to keep them like that because it keeps them peaceful.

The next important thing is the ArtSex.

This is as good a time as any other to mention that this was a TV Movie. I say that now because you can see I had to black box her breasts. I guess that means in 1968 the BBC allowed bare breasts on television of some kind. This part lasts seconds as the camera pulls back to show us Auto-Chess that I swear uses the same font as the WOPR computer from WarGames (1983).

It’s there so we can have the characters discussing philosophical topics. The guy who is standing at the Auto-Chess machine and directs the ArtSex show is getting rebellious. He wants to make images that make people feel again. This leads Eyebrows into a sex scene.

Then we find out that the other guy’s images are actually stills. I think Eyebrows’ reaction here says it all.

This is basically the movie. Eyebrows gets more and more convinced that he must have actual experience instead of just delivering “Cool the people. Cool the world” apathy till he does something about it. Here is one of Auto-Chess guy’s pictures.

Now the big issue is to make them laugh, so we go to a sad food fight. No luck. The audience still doesn’t change from their apathy. That is, till this happens to the Auto-Chess guy.

The Coordinator thinks they have had a breakthrough, but Eyebrows wonders if that means they are going to kill someone every night. Once again, Eyebrows provides us with great reactions shots.

Then Eyebrows comes up with the idea of doing the TV Show Survivor. He doesn’t actually call it that, but that’s what it is. He, a woman, and a kid are going to go to what I swear is the set of Man of Aran (1934) to live a “real” life.

It feels like it takes them forever to finally get to the island. They call it The Live-Life Show, which will air 24/7.

Here is our set.

Despite the idea being that they are supposed to be trying to survive alone, two people do show up. The Production Pod says something has to happen, so they made sure there would be a story of some sort in the way of challenges.

Been too long since a reaction shot from Eyebrows, so here you go.

Of course things go wrong, and we end up with another dead body as well as the woman being dead too.

The audience loves it!

The people in the Production Pod also burst into laughter. Roll credits.

There you have The Year of the Sex Olympics. It is a cautionary tale that things like the Olympics and the coming Golden Age of Porn would replace actual experience. In other words, reality television will take over people’s lives, and leave them with nothing but an apathetic existence that may be peaceful, but isn’t life any more. My verdict is that it was surprisingly accurate in its’ prediction of the future of television that expanded to the Internet while not being so predictive of how it affected human behavior. People really haven’t become apathetic, but swung to the opposite with outrage culture and a cacophony of participation/sharing. Sometimes we get outraged over the dumbest things imaginable. During the past year or so my Twitter feed has been filled with people throwing custard pie at each other over a movie about people shooting imaginary things at other imaginary things. However, I never once saw outrage over the poster of God’s Not 2 (2016) equating imaginary persecution of Christians in schools with the Holocaust.

Still, it is an amazing time to live in.

Feel free to interpret The Year of the Sex Olympics as you see fit. They definitely saw things coming that we have with us today, but there are certainly different ways you can tie it to the current state of the world.

The Year of the Sex Olympics is worth seeing as one of those Twilight Zone type social commentary movies disguised as sci-fi. Just don’t expect any sex. The title is bait.