Horror Film Review: Waxwork II: Lost In Time (dir by Anthony Hickox)


1992’s Waxwork II opens with the finale of the first Waxwork.  The cursed waxwork is burning to the ground, taking out the monsters within, along with Sir Wilfred (Patrick Macnee) and Wilfred’s army of do-gooders.  Only Mark (Zach Galligan) and Sarah (now played by Monika Schnarre) are able to escape.  Fleeing the burning building, they manage to catch a cab.  Sarah wonders what they’re going to do now.  Mark replies that they’re going to go back to school and pretend that none of this ever happened.

Good luck with that!  It turns out that one other thing did escape from the waxwork.  A disembodied hand follows Sarah home and murders her abusive stepfather.  Sarah manages to drop the hand down the garbage disposal, destroying it but also destroying the only proof she had that she didn’t kill her stepfather.  Sarah is put on trial for murder and the jury does not appear to be impressed with her “It was a supernatural creature” defense.

What she and Mark need is proof that the waxwork was full of monsters.  Fortunately, a trip to Sir Wilfred’s house reveals not only a recording of Sir Wilfred explaining how there’s an alternative universe known as the Kartagra but also a compass that can be used to find portals into the Kartagra.  Mark and Sarah enter the Kartagra, searching for proof of Sarah’s innocence.

Mark and Sarah go from one universe to another, meeting iconic horror characters along the way.  Just as with the exhibits in the first film, each universe features it own set monsters and its own distinctive style.  For instance, Mark finds himself suddenly cast in the role of Henry Clerval, best friend of Baron Frankenstein (Martin Kemp) and the lover of the Baron’s wife, Elizabeth (who is actually Sarah).  Of course, the Baron has more to worry about than his wife cheating with his best friend.  There’s also the angry monster living in the basement and the angry villagers that are due to start pounding on the front doors of the mansion.

Later, Mark finds himself in a black-and-white recreation of The Haunting of Hill House, working with a researcher (Bruce Campbell) and two psychics to investigate reports of a ghost at an old house.  Mark must bring peace to the ghost while avoiding all of the slapstick complications that one might expect when Bruce Campbell shows up as a paranormal researcher.  While Mark is dealing with that, Sarah is floating in space, trying to protect the crew of her dingy spaceship from an acid spewing alien.

You get the idea.  Waxwork II is essentially an affectionate collection of homages to other, better-known horror films and it must be said that Waxwork II does an excellent job of recreating each film, from the crisp black-and-white of haunted house scene to the grittiness of the Alien sequences to the over-the-top swordplay of a trip to a medieval world.  There’s even a trip to the mall from Dawn of the Dead!  Wisely, Waxwork II doesn’t take itself particularly seriously, with many scenes developing into outright comedy.  Zach Galligan gives an enjoyable and nicely modulated comedic performance, even holding his own with Bruce Campbell.

At 104 minutes, Waxwork II runs a bit too long for its own good but it ends on a sweet note that nicely wraps up the entire saga.  It’s a film that works as both a continuation of Waxwork and as an entertaining film on its own.

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Embrace of the Vampire (dir by Anne Goursaud)


In this incredibly silly film from 1995, Martin Kemp plays The Vampire.  He doesn’t get a name but he does get a backstory.  Back when he was mortal, the Vampire pursued a secret and forbidden affair with a princess.  One day, after making love, the man who would became the Vampire was laying down next to a stream when he was approached by three naked women who proceeded to bite his neck and vampirize him.

Centuries later, the Vampire is sickly and approaching the end of his existence.  He only has three days to convince the reincarnation of his former lover to allow him to drink her blood so that he can continue to exist.  And apparently it won’t work unless she’s a virgin and unless she rejects all others and loves only him.  That sounds like a lot of rules to me and, to be honest, most of them seem to be kind of arbitrary.  Not only does The Vampire have to find the reincarnation of the Princess but he has to find her before she loses her virginity or otherwise, what?  She’ll cease to be the reincarnation?  Her love will somehow be devalued?  Her blood will no longer be worth drinking?  If this vampire has had to spend centuries only drinking blood from virgins who were in love with him, no wonder he looks so sickly.  I really think that maybe the other vampires were playing a practical joke when they explained the rules to him.  Hazing the new guy, it has consequences!

Anyway, the princess has been reincarnated as Charlotte (a young Alyssa Milano).  Fortunately, for the Vampire, Charlotte was raised in a convent and, even though she is now a college student, she’s still a virgin who blushes when she even hears the word sex.  Unfortunately, Charlotte has a boyfriend named Chris (Harrison Pruett) and she’s thinking about losing her virginity if she can convince herself that she loves Chris more than any other person that she will ever possibly meet.  So, the Vampire not only has to convince Charlotte to fall in love with him but he also has to make sure that she doesn’t have sex beforehand.  It’s going to be difficult because everyone on campus is determined to get Charlotte laid.  This has all the makings of Italian sex comedy but Embrace of the Vampire instead takes its plot very seriously.

The Vampire starts to appear in Charlotte’s dreams.  He gives her an ankh to replace the cross that Chris gave her.  Because the Ankh is a symbol of desire, just wearing it makes Charlotte more sexually aggressive and soon, she’s wearing short skirts, low-cut tops, and white stockings.  She’s also making out with Sarah (Charlotte Lewis), the photographer who lives in the dorm room next to hers.  (As played by Charlotte Lewis, Sarah is actually an interesting character and it’s a shame that the film pretty much just uses her for titillation.)  But since the Vampire’s whole thing is keeping Charlotte from losing her virginity, why would he give her something that would make her more open to sexual experiences?  Again, it’s hard not to think that the Vampire is just the victim of an elaborate practical joke.

As I said at the start of the review, Embrace of the Vampire is incredibly silly.  It’s also a film that seems to be a bit popular with viewers of a certain age.  I’m assuming that’s because of the frequent Alyssa Milano nudity and that one scene with Charlotte Lewis.  For the most part, Alyssa Milano gives a bland performance in Embrace of the Vampire.  It’s not so much that she’s bad as everything about her performance is on the surface.  One gets the feeling that there’s really not much going on with Charlotte’s inner life, both before and after she starts dreaming about The Vampire.  As The Vampire, Martin Kemp appears to be absolutely miserable.  He comes across as if he’d rather be anywhere than appearing in this movie.

That said, the film’s director got her start working with Francis Ford Coppola and she has a good eye for gothic scenery and atmosphere.  A scene where Charlotte imagines a frat party turning into a Hellish orgy is effectively done.  Jennifer Tilly has a small role as a vampire and she has said that Quentin Tarantino approached her at the Oscars to tell her that he enjoyed the movie.  It’s a silly movie (yes, third time I’ve used that specific term and that should tell you just how silly it is) but, for better or worse, it epitomizes an era.

Music Video of the Day: Last Christmas by Wham! (1984, dir. Andy Morahan)


Merry Christmas!

It’s Last Christmas by Wham! What is there to say? Okay, I guess I can say a few things such as that the only reason I didn’t go with one of The Darkness’ Christmas music videos is because I intend to use one of their’s for Valentine’s Day.

There are two interesting details that Wikipedia pointed out to me. The girl that Michael gave the brooch to “Last Christmas” wears said brooch right side up, while Ridgeley’s character wears it is upside down. Also, apparently this music video was the last time George Michael was filmed clean-shaven.

Andy Morahan directed this music video. He’s directed somewhere around 130 music videos. He also directed Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), which makes the first three Highlander movies done by directors who made music videos.

It was shot by Peter Mackay who has shot only a handful of music videos, but they include songs like Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division, In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins, and Radio Ga Ga by Queen.

Ridgeley’s girlfriend is played by model Kathy Hill.

The video also has former backup singers Helen “Pepsi” DeMacque and Shirlie Hollimam in it along with Spandau Ballet’s bassist Martin Kemp who went on to marry Shirlie. Kemp also happened to be in an episode of the Highlander TV Show.

Enjoy!