Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.3 “Aloha”

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Even by Malibu CA standards, this week’s episode is incredibly stupid.

Episode 2.3 “Aloha”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 23rd, 1999)

Peter can’t figure out why no one is coming to his restaurant.

Gee, Peter, maybe it’s because your idiot sons work there and are constantly screwing everything up. Maybe it’s because your only waitress is constantly complaining about everything in the most overdramatic way possible. (Seriously, after only three episodes, Lisa — the Malibu CA character, not me! — is perhaps the most annoying human being ever.) Maybe that all has something to do with it….

No, actually, it’s because there’s a new restaurant called Aloha, which features the Cocoanuts, a group of girls who wear bikinis and dance while the patrons are eating. I can’t imagine anyone going to this restaurant on a date but apparently, all of the single men on the beach love it. Murray has eaten at the restaurant 21 times in a row! Jason and Scott go down to Aloha with their father and Jason immediately starts dancing with the girls. Peter accuses both Jason and Murray of betraying him.

It’s easy to laugh at Peter’s misfortune, especially since it’s his own damn fault for being a terrible business owner. But when he announces that he might lose the restaurant because he stupidly took out a loan, Jason and Scott bully Murray into using his trust fund to invest in The Lighthouse. Co-owner Murray wants to have a pirate night. “Arggh!” Peter says.

Anyway, Jason and Scott eventually bully Murray into applying to be one of the Cocoanuts and after Murray is hired, everyone stops going to Aloha and they return to the Lighthouse because there are only two restaurants in Malibu. Myself, I’m wondering how exactly Murray got hired. On the show, it’s suggested that Murray was hired because, otherwise, he would have sued the owner of Aloha for sex discrimination. That’s not exactly how that law works, though. Even if the owner did hire Murray to work at Aloha, he wouldn’t be required to make Murray one of the dancers. He could have just used Murray as a waiter or dishwasher or …. WAIT ON MINUTE! Murray already has a job! Just two episodes ago, he was working at The Lighthouse! What the Hell!?

There’s an equally stupid B-plot. Traycee wants to date the guy who changes out the coke machine on the beach. He’s not into flashy celebrities who Traycee works a dark wig and glasses and pretends to be a librarian. It all seems to be working until he sees Traycee in a bikini and realizes that she’s not actually a librarian …. WHAT!? Why would Traycee, whose entire life is about being famous, like this guy in the first place? And why are Lisa (the character, not me!) and Stads still on the show when its obvious that the show really doesn’t have anything for either of them to do? It would perhaps help if Lisa and Stads didn’t both have exactly the same killjoy personality. Anyway, Traycee ends up single again but she lands on the cover of Soap Opera Digest.

God, this show was stupid.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.2 “Jason’s Song”

Posted on February 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I know that’s the first season cast but I don’t care.

This week …. ugh.

Episode 2.2 “Jason’s Song”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 16th, 1999)

Lisa is just the worst!

No, silly, not me! I’m the best. I’m talking about Lisa, the newest character on this show. Lisa is the medical student who was hired to work as a waitress at the restaurant. This week’s episode finds her desperately looking for an apartment and moving in with …. Traycee! The problem is that Lisa can’t stand Traycee because Traycee loves the color pink and is a careless driver. What’s wrong with that? I love the color pink and …. well, I am a good driver. But still, Lisa throws such a fit over moving in with Traycee and Marquita Terry (who plays Lisa) gives such a cartoonishly over-the-top performance in the role that you can kind of end up feeling that Lisa is …. well, she’s the worst.

Things are resolved when Lisa throws one of Traycee’s possessions of the balcony in frustration. I hate to say it but, even though it’s only been a few hours since I watched the episode, I cannot remember what exactly Lisa threw. Was it a CD? Let’s say it was a CD because I refuse to rewatch this episode because, as I will discuss in the next paragraph, this episode deeply offended me. The important thing is that, when the cop shows up at the apartment looking for who threw the whatever at him, Traycee takes the blame and …. GOES TO JAIL! (Editor’s Note: I checked and it was a CD. — Erin)

See, that’s why I’m not going to rewatch this episode. Getting arrested and going to jail is a big deal. Lisa allowed Traycee to potentially get a criminal record. If the show wants me to sympathize with Lisa then Lisa should have gone to the police and told the truth and dealt with the consequences. Lisa was the one dumb enough to throw whatever it was that she threw. This is on Lisa and I don’t care how frustrated she was, she’s the one was an idiot. Instead, Lisa stays at the apartment and paints one door pink and puts up some fake hearts. When Traycee returns …. FROM JAIL! …. she is overjoyed. Lisa and Traycee are friends. Yay? No, no yay. TRAYCEE WENT TO JAIL FOR YOU! Traycee probably got charged with a misdemeanor and had to pay a fine. Someone probably had to bail her out. Throwing something off of a balcony and hitting a cop is not a little thing. Someone with that little self-control should not be a doctor. Lisa spends almost this entire episode shaking with rage. Was no one directing this episode? Was no one asking for a second take? What the Hell was going on?

While this was going on, Jason pursued his musical career and fell under the influence of Jesse Mercer (Rex Smith), who was once in a band with Jason and Scott’s father. (The Disco Dudes, I think they were called.) Jesse proves to be a bad influence. Recently promoted to night manager and having been given a laptop by his father, Jason sells the laptop for a new guitar. What a prick. Jesse agrees to play a fundraiser for the lifeguards but bails at the last minute. Don’t worry. Jason has a guitar and he’s learned an important lesson.

This storyline actually featured a pretty good performance from Rex Smith but it was hard not to notice that it was basically just the Fabolous Belding Boys with Edward Blatchford (now cast not as the cool Belding brother but instead as Jason and Scott’s dorky father) playing the role that Dennis Haskins originally played. If that sentence doesn’t make sense to you, you’ve never watched Saved By The Bell and you’re lucky.

Ugh, this show.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.1 “Race Your Dream”

Posted on February 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s the second season but I’m too lazy to change the graphic. Sorry, not sorry.

Today we begin season 2 of the bane of my existence.

Episode 2.1 “Race Your Dream”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on October 9th, 1999)

The second season of Malibu CA starts with a few changes.

It’s firmly established that Scott and Jason are no longer in high school so I guess they graduated and, instead of going to college, they’re still working as busboys at their Dad’s restaurant. I don’t know what type of message that sends but it’s probably not a good one. (Also, I guess the show decided to forget about Scott having a job as a sportscaster.)

Murray is now working at the restaurant as well.

Priscilla Inga Taylor has officially joined the cast. Gina May is no longer on the show. Sam actually went to college after graduating.

Stads is still on the show and somehow, she’s even bitchier than usual in this episode. And when I say “bitchy,’ I don’t mean that she’s an empowering diva who won’t let anyone stand in her way. I mean that she’s whiny and in a bad mood for now particular reason.

Lisa Jones (Marquita Terry) is a medical student who gets a job as a waitress at the restaurant. You’d think I would relate to her since we share the same name but nope. During her job interview, she specifically points out that no one else at the restaurant is doing a good job. It’s true but still kind of rude. Admittedly, I’ve never had to actually interview for a job but it seems like criticizing the place where you want to work would be a mistake. That’s especially true if you’re interviewing for a job that literally thousands of other people could do.

Scott has a crush on Lisa. Lisa thinks Scott is a slacker. Jason lies and says that Scott is in training for the U.S. Olympic try-outs. WHAT!? That’s what he came up with! Maybe he could point out that Scott had a job as a sportscaster. Or maybe he could reveal that Scott is the assistant manager of the restaurant. Instead, he said that Scott is trying out for the OLYMPIC SWIM TEAM! SERIOUSLY, LET THAT SINK IN!

Of course, Saved By The Bell: The New Class had an entire season where everyone on the show was a member of the swim team so maybe Peter Engel just had a thing for swimming.

Lisa is friends with someone who actually is a competitive swimmer. She introduced him to Scott. Scott gets challenged to a race. Scott agrees. He loses but only barely because …. WHAT!? SCOTT IS SWIMMING AGAINST AN OLYMPIC ATHLETE! What the Hell was wrong with our Olympic team in the 90s that a member of it could nearly get beaten by some Malibu beach bum? WHAT THE HELL!?

THE SHOW IS STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID MINDS!

Anyway, Lisa is impressed that Scott tried. And Scott is told that there’s an outside chance that he actually could make the Olympics if he starts training….

SERIOUSLY, THIS IS SO STUPID! Not even One World was this stupid! Not even Hang Time had the audacity to suggest its characters were going to magically make the Olympic team. (It is true that Scott is revealed to have been a good swimmer in high school. I’m a good dancer. It still doesn’t mean I’m joining The Paris Opera Ballet anytime soon.)

So, basically, season two is going to be the same as season one.