Lois Kelso Hunt | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, Lisa will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

Guest reviewer alert! I’m filling in for Lisa on the Homicide beat this week. Let’s take a look at the second episode of the fourth season.

Episode 4.2 “Fire Part Two”

(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on October 27th, 1995)

Continuing from where the previous episode ended, Pembleton, Bayliss, and Kellerman investigate the second warehouse fire. Another victims has been found burned to a crisp in the fire. Her dental records identify here are Bonnie Nash, a teenage girl. The positioning of her body indicates that, unlike the first victim, she was already dead when the fire was set.

Pembleton continues to dislike Kellerman and gets especially annoyed when Kellerman announces that he’s decided to quit smoking. Bayliss is suffering from a degenerative disc and spends more time complaining about the pain than actually investigating the case. It’s Kellerman who solves the case and tricks chemistry teacher Gavin Robb (Adam Trese) into confessing. While in the box with him, Kellerman plays good cop and even tells Robb that he’s free to leave after Robb denies being the arsonist. As Robb stands, Kellerman whispers, “Why did you kill the dog?”

Without thinking, Robb replies, “I didn’t know it was there.”

(Of course, there was no dog there.)

Realizing his mistake, Robb confesses. Bonnie was one of his students. Having decided to kill her, Robb set the first fire to fool everyone into thinking that there was a serial arsonist on the loose so that the arsonist would be blamed when Bonnie’s body was found in the second fire. The first death was an accident. The death of Bonnie was premeditated. When asked why he killed Bonnie, Robb replies, “That’s my personal business.”

Giardello invites Kellerman to join Homicide. At first, Kellerman refuses because he doesn’t think he’s smart enough to be a member of the murder police. But after visiting his father at his dead-end job in a distillery, Kellerman changes his mind.

Meanwhile, Kay and Munch both study for the sergeant’s exam. Kay makes it to the exam and probably aces it. Munch can’t find his lucky socks and misses it. I would have missed it too. You can’t do anything without the lucky socks.

This episode was an improvement over the previous episode. Last episode, Kellerman came across as being a cliche, the hot-headed cop who has a problem with authority. This episode, Kellerman was more likable and also a lot less cocky. That he’s insecure about whether or not he can keep up with the other homicide detectives makes him a very relatable character. It would have to be intimidating to find yourself suddenly working with someone like Frank Pembleton, who is always portrayed as being the best of the best.

As I mentioned last week, Reed Diamond was originally a controversial addition to the cast. At the time, many critics said the show was selling out by casting an actor who didn’t look like Ned Beatty or Jon Polito. Reed Diamond and Mike Kellerman would both prove themselves, leaving little doubt that they belonged. Later, Homicide would make some bad casting decisions. (Five word: Jon Seda as Paul Falsone.) But Reed Diamond, with this episode, steps up and shows that he can keep up with the rest of the squad.

The 1983 film, The House on Sorority Row, is one of the best (and sadly, one of the more underrated) slasher films to be released during the slasher boom of the early 1980s. Yes, I know that the poster above probably makes it look a little generic. And “Where Nothing Is Off Limits” sounds more like a tagline for a film about snowboarders than a rather engaging and occasionally even witty suspense film.

But no matter!

The House on Sorority Row is a masterpiece of the genre. (Avoid the remake, Sorority Row. ALWAYS AVOID THE REMAKE … except for The Maltese Falcon, the Hammer Dracula films, The Departed … you know what? Use your own damn judgement. )

Seven sorority sisters are excited about graduating and want to throw a big party. However, their strict and slightly insane house mother, Mrs. Slater (Lois Kelso Hunt), has a strict no party policy. She also has a strict “everyone out of the house once the semester ends” policy and she’s not very happy when she discovers that the seven girls are planning on staying for the weekend! She demands that they all leave. She then proceeds to use her cane to destroy a waterbed while one girl is on it with her boyfriend. As the hallway floods, the girls wonder what’s wrong with Mrs. Slater.

Of course, what they don’t know is that Mrs. Slater has a tragic past. Well, actually, they kind of do know it. At the very least, they suspect it. They know that Slater does have a reason for always closing the house on the weekend immediately following the end of the semester. They know but they don’t care. Instead, they plan an elaborate hoax. That’s right! V for Vengeance!

How does the hoax work out? Well, like most college hoaxes, it ends up with two laughing girls, five angry and/or worried girls, and one dead house mother floating in the pool. OH NO! They’ve got to both throw a party and hide a dead body! See, this is why I never joined a sorority. I can throw a party. And I can hide a dead body. But not both in one night!

At first, things go okay. Nobody discovers the body. The party goes off as planned. Everyone’s having as good a time as you can while trying to cover up a future-ruining felony. But then suddenly, the body disappears. And then the girls start to disappear, one-by-one…

So, let’s just be honest here. Plotwise, The House on Sorority Row is not going to win points for originality. Though the film does include a few clever twists, it’s pretty much your standard slasher film and it has its share of scenes where the girls stupidly split up, drop knives that they really shouldn’t drop, and hide in silly places. I always feel bad for the girl killed in the bathroom stall because seriously, that’s the last place I would want to die. (Add to that, her head later turns up in a toilet. BLEH!)

While the plot may be familiar, The House on Sorority Row is a triumph of style. Director Mark Rosman may have told a familiar story but he told it well, putting more emphasis on suspense than gore. Regardless of how silly the story may be, you still get caught up in it. Rosman is at his best towards the end of the film when the final survivor has to fight off the murderer while under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug.

Finally, the film is far better acted than your typical slasher film. Though the majority of the characters are definitely familiar types (there’s the bitchy girl, the slightly less bitchy girl, the best friend, the mousy girl, the smart girl, the dumb girl, etc), the actresses who play them are all sympathetic and likable. You actually care about them. Yes, you even care about self-centered, immature Vicki, even though she’s the one who came up with the hoax in the first place. Vicki is played by Eileen Davidson and she gives one of the best performances in slasher film history. It’s hard not to relate to her exasperation as it turns out to be harder to cover up a murder than she originally assumed.

That said, having watched the film, I’m glad that I never joined a sorority. Between the waterbed and the murders, I don’t know how I ever would have ever graduated.